I went to see my Mum today - 12.45 lunch time -all the curtains were closed, the door locked. You can imagine what I was thinking. Anyway she was in bed - from what I could see -clothed. When I asked if she was ok she said she was bored. There was no one out and about and she thought she would be better off in bed! I suggested she look at the newspaper, watch tv or sit in the garden but he did not want to do that. She kept on about a long since gone very close relative who was supposed to be coming round (he died in 1965) and that she had spoken to him on the phone. She would not get up and wanted all the curtains left shut along with the doors. Is this normal? I left but needless to say she has been on my mind since.
So odd .
- Thread starter Flake
- Start date
Mum often gets her day and night muddled up. She thinks its the middle of the night even if its broad day-light and often thinks its morning even if its pitch black outside. I also suspect that without carers getting her ready for bed she would go to bed in her clothes and get up the next day and wear the same clothes 
Edit to say that if challenged about anything (eg "why are you in bed Mum?") she has always got a really good answer!
Edit to say that if challenged about anything (eg "why are you in bed Mum?") she has always got a really good answer!
My mum too
My Mum took to her bed between August last year and New years day. She then ended up in hospital for months. I think when its all too much and thinking is just too hard my Mum goes to sleep. It seems to be very common. She is in a CH now and will be up for 2 - 3 days then in bed for a day. After a day out she often in in bed.
Is she drinking? That was where it went bad for my Mum and she ended up dehydrated and confused, on the floor all night.
My Mum took to her bed between August last year and New years day. She then ended up in hospital for months. I think when its all too much and thinking is just too hard my Mum goes to sleep. It seems to be very common. She is in a CH now and will be up for 2 - 3 days then in bed for a day. After a day out she often in in bed.
Is she drinking? That was where it went bad for my Mum and she ended up dehydrated and confused, on the floor all night.
I would often arrive at my mother's at around 5 in the middle of summer, to find all the doors locked, windows closed, curtains drawn, and her in bed. I had always arrived to stay the night and would bring dinner, so she would then get up again, but she had an absolute Thing even when I was already there, about closing all the windows and curtains by around 5, even in the middle of summer in a heatwave.
I never found a way around any of it. I think she just felt safe in bed, with everything closed and locked. I often tried to get her to do something other than watch TV, which was on all day, but she just wasn't interested - it was always, 'I can't be bothered.' I could not get her out of the house, either - no matter what I did or tried she would fret like mad half a mile down the road about whether doors and windows were locked, gas off, etc., and I would have to take her back. So I had to stop trying that. For at least a couple of years before she went into the CH I could barely get her out of the house at all.
It's all very hard - I just wish I had some answers for you.
I never found a way around any of it. I think she just felt safe in bed, with everything closed and locked. I often tried to get her to do something other than watch TV, which was on all day, but she just wasn't interested - it was always, 'I can't be bothered.' I could not get her out of the house, either - no matter what I did or tried she would fret like mad half a mile down the road about whether doors and windows were locked, gas off, etc., and I would have to take her back. So I had to stop trying that. For at least a couple of years before she went into the CH I could barely get her out of the house at all.
It's all very hard - I just wish I had some answers for you.
My mum is in a care home now but she used to stay up half the night and then sleep/stay in bed until lunchtime. When I visit her I notice that there are curtains pulled in a number of the rooms so I asked the staff if this was common. They told me that there are residents who stay up until the small hours and then sleep for most of the day whereas there was others who while they were awake and perfectly able to move around they choose to stay in bed. The staff are really good as they try to work with the residents to allow them as much autonomy as possible. For all of us our bed normally represents a place of warmth and security so perhaps when our loved ones are feeling afraid or anxious they take to their beds for this feeling of safety.
