I'm another one who doesn't really celebrate my birthdays. I don't remember birthdays as being great once I was no longer a young child. However, my mum would always make a point of ringing me and my sister (twins) to sing 'Happy Birthday' and send presents. She felt a bit offended that we tended to let birthdays pass us by, as if it reflected on her as a mother. Our birthday is 27 January and, although I knew by that time this year there were problems, I still took it personally and was upset that I didn't even get a text, never mind a phone call or card. It felt as if I was no longer important enough even for her to know it was my birthday.
After having to go through the process of applying to the CoP in order to become my mum's deputy, I finally had an official diagnosis from my mum's consultant to send to them. By this time she was placed on Section 3 of the MHC Act. The diagnosis was 'irrepairable cognitive impairment', which doesn't really explain that much. However, on the legal document, the consultant dated this diagnosis as being made on 28 January. I immediately realised that the non-acknowledgement of mine and my sister's birthday was not personal at all, and my mum would be horrified if she'd known that this was the situation. As things add onto other things, they help me to accept that the mum I had is gone, so now it's all about helping this new one.