My mother (70) has mid stage Alz, my father is her carer and is giving me more grief and trouble than mum's condition. He is proud, private and refuses to accept help on any level and is driving himself into the ground. I have only recently found out that he has been dealing with incontinence for a year and hiding it (and refusing to get any pads or anything to assist with it). Mum is supposed to be on anti-depressants and sleeping pills, both of which he keeps taking her off, putting her back on... and wondering why shes vomiting and has diarhorrea. But he knows best - he is also stockpiling the tablets which is worrying me in itself. I'll ask just one question today though if I may.... To relieve the pressure on dad, I have insisted on having mum every Monday at my house. Has anyone any suggestions what I can do to keep her amused and stimulate her a bit??? She has a double-whammy in that she has a progressive disease of her nervous system and as a result doesnt have any feeling in her hands or legs and can only stand with a stick and a supportive person, therefore a lot of possibilities are eliminated. Yesterday I sat her by my side in the kitchen and tried to get her to help me make a cake but she kept saying she didnt want to and it was like I was punishing her by asking. I also started trying to do a scrapbook and finding pics in mags she liked to paste in, but every time we found a pic she liked she cried. Looking at old family photos, animals or children - although these are the things she responds to - are the things that make her cry. In fact she cried pretty much all day yesterday and said 'I 'm scared ' & 'I want to go home' constantly. I'm also getting called the cats name now - thank goodness the cat is called Katie and not Tiddles. Sorry to be long winded but help appreciated, I want to spend 'quality' time with her, I dont want to dread these Mondays.