So Many Broken families

[Quilty]

My family has been totally broken by my Mums dementia. I have a sister with mental health problems who has used my Mum paranoid thoughts for her own end. She created a storm of trouble them walked away. As a result my eldest sister who had been my Mums carer for 16 years was told not to come back. I am the youngest and am the sole carer for my Mum now. I never imagined we would end Mums life like this.

I was watching a Teepa Snow training video on youtube last night. She is from a US based organisation and the videos are very good at helping carers understand and work with dementia sufferers. In it she said that for every 5 families facing dementia, 4 will fall apart.

I am in the unlucky 80%. If you are in the 20% I envy you and wish you all the best in your caring. Personally I don't feel so bad now I hear this statistic. Im the fixer of the family and I always felt bad that I was not able to keep things together for Mums sake. We are a victim of mental illness - Mums and my sisters. Double whammy.

Big hugs to all you carers out there. Stop beating yourself up and stop fretting about the "invisibles". They are not as strong as you, even though you don't feel strong. Every day is a days march nearer home.
Love Quilty

 

[Lindy50]

That's a terrible statistic Quilty Even worse than I might have expected.....

I am so sorry you are in the 80%. It sounds like you are doing a brilliant job, but so sad you are doing it without your sisters

I am lucky, very lucky, so far to be in the 20%, but I have to say that the effort of keeping it all together, as well as caring for mum, is beginning to show....I could still end up in your position.

Sending you ((((hugs))))

Lindy xxx

 

[canary]

Oh my, thats scary

So far Im in the elusive 20% - but theres a long way to go........

 

[Cinder]

I'm in the 80%.
Not a nice place to be.



Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Sue J]

I'm in the 80% too and it breaks my heart constantly

 

[Lindy50]

So sorry so many are in the 80%

Even though I'm so far one of the lucky ones, the pressure on our family is enormous (you all know about that!) OH had a great weekend away, came back to not v good news about mum, and is feeling miffed that his positive feelings are being drained away so fast.....Daughter is moving in with boyfriend and wants me to be thrilled about her flat, look at decoration etc, and I'm tired.....etc , etc. Basically we're all having a bicker tonight The health and social care structure takes no account at all of the effects of stress in a family, when even one member has dementia.......

Sending good vibes to all

Lindy xx