1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

So Many Broken families

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Quilty, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    My family has been totally broken by my Mums dementia. I have a sister with mental health problems who has used my Mum paranoid thoughts for her own end. She created a storm of trouble them walked away. As a result my eldest sister who had been my Mums carer for 16 years was told not to come back. I am the youngest and am the sole carer for my Mum now. I never imagined we would end Mums life like this.

    I was watching a Teepa Snow training video on youtube last night. She is from a US based organisation and the videos are very good at helping carers understand and work with dementia sufferers. In it she said that for every 5 families facing dementia, 4 will fall apart.

    I am in the unlucky 80%. If you are in the 20% I envy you and wish you all the best in your caring. Personally I don't feel so bad now I hear this statistic. Im the fixer of the family and I always felt bad that I was not able to keep things together for Mums sake. We are a victim of mental illness - Mums and my sisters. Double whammy.

    Big hugs to all you carers out there. Stop beating yourself up and stop fretting about the "invisibles". They are not as strong as you, even though you don't feel strong. Every day is a days march nearer home.
    Love Quilty
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    That's a terrible statistic Quilty :eek: Even worse than I might have expected.....

    I am so sorry you are in the 80%. It sounds like you are doing a brilliant job, but so sad you are doing it without your sisters :(

    I am lucky, very lucky, so far to be in the 20%, but I have to say that the effort of keeping it all together, as well as caring for mum, is beginning to show....I could still end up in your position.

    Sending you ((((hugs))))

    Lindy xxx
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,390
    Female
    South coast
    Oh my, thats scary

    So far Im in the elusive 20% - but theres a long way to go........
     
  4. Cinder

    Cinder Registered User

    Dec 14, 2014
    66
    I'm in the 80%.
    Not a nice place to be.



    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  5. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042
    I'm in the 80% too and it breaks my heart constantly:(
     
  6. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    So sorry so many are in the 80% :(

    Even though I'm so far one of the lucky ones, the pressure on our family is enormous (you all know about that!) OH had a great weekend away, came back to not v good news about mum, and is feeling miffed that his positive feelings are being drained away so fast.....Daughter is moving in with boyfriend and wants me to be thrilled about her flat, look at decoration etc, and I'm tired.....etc , etc. Basically we're all having a bicker tonight :( The health and social care structure takes no account at all of the effects of stress in a family, when even one member has dementia.......

    Sending good vibes to all :)

    Lindy xx
     

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