So, here we are.
- Thread starter LadyA
- Start date
It's the one tool I've never been able to master. Always afraid of my toes. So it's still long handled shears for me. How stupid.
Got the rest of the mowing done today. Delighted to have that done- it's very rough, uneven ground out there, with steep hills and lots of obstacles. But as I mowed, I could see lots of other jobs that need doing, and wanted to go do those. Go me! I'm actually feeling, tentatively, like I might be "waking up " out of what my friend refers to as The Apathy of Grief. That feeling that you just can't do anything. It's too much effort, and doesn't matter anyway.
Also, I cooked a nice omelette for lunch - with lots of veg in it. Tomatoes, mushrooms, bok choi, green beans and cheese on top. Before lunch, I went to put fresh flowers on William's grave, and got myself a lovely bunch of reduced price lillies as well. Didn't get reduced price flowers for William - he got full price mixed bouquet! :-D gerbera, roses, chrysanthemums and some greenery.
Also, I cooked a nice omelette for lunch - with lots of veg in it. Tomatoes, mushrooms, bok choi, green beans and cheese on top. Before lunch, I went to put fresh flowers on William's grave, and got myself a lovely bunch of reduced price lillies as well. Didn't get reduced price flowers for William - he got full price mixed bouquet! :-D gerbera, roses, chrysanthemums and some greenery.
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The Memorial Service for William is taking place right now, in the US, for family and friends who couldn't come to the funeral. Literally, hundreds were expected. Thursday, one of his daughter's called and said they just about can't stand it that I won't be there, so would pay for a ticket, if I could go - but I let my passport expire last year. And I don't think I could go through another service, to be honest. But yet, I'm finding it terribly upsetting sitting here thinking about it!
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How lovely that you have got that kind of relationship with your stepdaughter. Think I might have said that about your stepson too re that other business. Can only imagine how you feel, probably wanting to be there for him but not being able to. Xx
It's William's children Celia - they are all around my age. He was a widower when I married him.
I wouldn't want to be there - I'm just about getting over the immediate trauma of the death & funeral here. I really wouldn't want to go through another service. Although it would be lovely to see his family. But a whole weekend reunion would be hard going - especially with so very many people expected at the service, very few of whom would know me. Nope - best I stayed here!
I wouldn't want to be there - I'm just about getting over the immediate trauma of the death & funeral here. I really wouldn't want to go through another service. Although it would be lovely to see his family. But a whole weekend reunion would be hard going - especially with so very many people expected at the service, very few of whom would know me. Nope - best I stayed here!
Yes, a second service would be very hard. I can understand your distress thinking about it happening at the time though.
I hope that now this is done, you will feel a certain sense of knowing that all is done that should be done and your William can rest in peace - and hopefully you will be able to as well/ x
I hope that now this is done, you will feel a certain sense of knowing that all is done that should be done and your William can rest in peace - and hopefully you will be able to as well/ x
William`s children have done all the right things lady A. It`s lovely they wanted their own service for their father and wonderful they wanted you with them.
I hope when you have recovered from the upset you will be left with a feeling of warmth that even though William spent the latter years of his life miles away from them their feelings for him and you were as strong as ever.
I hope when you have recovered from the upset you will be left with a feeling of warmth that even though William spent the latter years of his life miles away from them their feelings for him and you were as strong as ever.
They sent me a phone number, and some sort of id code, so that I could have listened in by phone. To be honest, I didn't want to. All in all, it's been an upsetting weekend. On Saturday, there was a free electrical recycling collection in the carpark of Tesco, and I finally took Willam's old computer & monitor and handed them in. We only used it for watching dvds - every evening before he went into care, we sat and watched either travel or wildlife documentaries or occasionally, an old film. Nothing rated over "U" - and if anyone started shouting in it, I had to turn it off, as he would get upset. The computer was years old - at least 12 I would think - and had been resurrected from the dead a couple of times, and had the dvd drive replaced several times. But now was beyond repair. It actually kicked the bucket just a few weeks after William went into care last September. So it was time to let it go. But I found it very hard - cried buckets over it. It was like a last link to him. So, between that and knowing the service was going on, it was a tough weekend.
Oh yes, I see. I was actually out for the whole day with my daughter on Saturday!
We had a lovely day - we went to a small, very picturesque village about 45 minutes inland, and there's also a famous gardens/park there. We wandered in the gardens and park and then had lunch in the village. And then when we got back to her house, her husband cooked us fresh fried mackerel for tea! And - very exciting! This evening she and her husband are going with a Surveyor to check over the house they are buying! It's their first house of their own. They are married two years today, and have been saving really hard - they actually have both been saving most of their lives with the intention of "some day" getting their own home! They both work very hard and live very frugally, and have saved every penny they could. They hope to be moved in by possibly the end of September.
I'm so pleased for them! The house is smaller than they would like (only two bedrooms), but it's a start - and will get them out of the rented house they've been in, which is freezing cold in Winter, and they have not liked the house since they moved in, but it was a case of needs must.Oh yes, I see. I was actually out for the whole day with my daughter on Saturday!
And - very exciting! This evening she and her husband are going with a Surveyor to check over the house they are buying! It's their first house of their own. They are married two years today, and have been saving really hard - they actually have both been saving most of their lives with the intention of "some day" getting their own home! They both work very hard and live very frugally, and have saved every penny they could. They hope to be moved in by possibly the end of September.
Just to say, sweetie, that I am thinking of you today. A hard day for you. xxx
Thanks Scarlett - I wasn't expecting it to be, today. But it has. Waves and waves of tears this afternoon. Not at all helped by looking at a short video of the bit of the Memorial Service around the graveside in the US, where there is a headstone up - where William's first wife is buried, and his name is on there too. The family have put the dates and "buried in Ireland" on. And to compound matters, I went down to what used to be our bedroom (now the spare room) for something, and with another fit of tears, sat on the bed - and looking blankly at the bookshelf, what should I find but William's ancient address book! With his tiny writing filling the pages. Not only that - but there are several contact details in there that the family were looking for while they were here, and could we find them? Could we heck! I knew they had to be here somewhere!
But anyway - all my great plans of getting on with some gardening and things are gone by the wayside today. Nothing done - except getting the kitchen bin cleaned. Which is I suppose something.
Hope you are feeling better this morning, Lady A.
Yesterday would have been so difficult for you, with all sorts of emotions on top of your own ongoing grief.
Thinking of you.
Yesterday would have been so difficult for you, with all sorts of emotions on top of your own ongoing grief.
Thinking of you.
