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So glad i have found you!


Registered User
Feb 4, 2015
Hello Everyone
I have been reading the posts on this site for a few weeks now as I have concerns for my Mother. I feel it is time to interact and seek help & advice where I can. Myself & 3 brothers are getting increasingly concerned about my Mother's behaviour. She has always been a formidable woman, instilling fear in all those around her. For many years we have considered her to have some kind of personality disorder, but now this appears to be made worse by some form of dementia! In some ways she has become pathetically clingy & cries almost everyday about something! Her short term memory has become shocking but she accuses my brothers of having affairs with her neighbours. When a row ensues she denies the allegations, then in a matter of weeks she says it all over again.
She has a deep paranoia that we (and now other family members) are plotting to put her in a CH. She says her neighbours "want my house'. She rows & falls out with everybody she comes into contact with.
We did somehow manage to get her to have an assessment with a nurse from the Memory clinic. She was petrified and the nurse agreed (although I feel reluctantly) to reassess her 6 months later. This would have been this month BUT my Mother has cancelled it saying it is hanging over her head & it is THAT that is making her ill. However, she hasn't stopped crying since ! I think she is aware that something is very wrong and she is scared! She tells us constantly that she "is not mental" a phrase I wish she wouldn't use!
Now one of my brothers has had a terrible fall out with her over constantly implying that he is being unfaithful to his wife and has vowed never to speak to her again.
I unfortunately took the brunt of it from her (as the only daughter I invariably do!)&have not now spoken to her for several days. I feel that one by one we are all starting to buckle under the strain of her constant drama's.
I probably haven't put this across very clearly, but any help or advice will be so welcome.
Thank you in advance
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Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
North East England
Gosh Jamaicaj, I am just about to go to bed but just wanted to say welcome to the forum and I'm glad you've found us too! I'm sure someone a little more awake than me at the moment will be along very shortly with some practical help for you, but in the meantime, welcome, keep posting, and I'll pop back to your thread tomorrow.



Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
North East England
Hello again Jamaicaj, just bumping up your post for others to find!

Are you able to chat to your mum's GP and ask if she could be brought in for a 'general MOT' as it were? Tell the GP all your concerns beforehand so that they are aware of the issues you are facing as a family.

If the GP also thinks your mum may have some form of dementia, or indeed other mental health problems then you could ask for an assessment from social services, both for your mum's needs and your own as her possible carers, if that's the route you choose to take. Remember you don't have to be her carers, only if you wish to.

I do hope others wiser and more experienced than me will post with other advice and support very soon.


Registered User
May 18, 2014
Gp should be your first port of call, if you can get her to agree to go that is. If you think she may be aware that she has memory problems, maybe you could tell a few white lies, that she may not know but there is medication she can take to help her remember things. It does sound like she needs some medication to help ease the anxiety and paranoia she is going through.

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
I'd agree with College Girl, that the GP initiate a 'routine health check' if that's possible. If she has been the formidable type she's probably always felt a need to be strong, and fear of losing control must be terrifying for her. She very likely needs reassurance, but would also be the last person to accept it.

It's good that you've found TP. There's always a kind word or some good advice and a welcome here.