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So fed up with all my symptoms and no-one to talk to.

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
@Aldis Thank you, I'm pleased to read your op went well and you're seeing better. We do tend to take the workings of our bodies for granted until they go wrong, then realise how precious they are.

I have some good news as the psychologist rang this morning and gave me an appointment for Thursday. I will be working hard on my list of symptoms before I go. Things have worsened so much since I last saw her about 18 months ago. Not that she can fix anything but it will be good to be listened to and taken seriously face to face. She may have some suggestions for help.

More good news as my little cat _ not really little at 6.3 kg! - will have his own freedom day tomorrow. Stitches out, cone off and into the garden! He will be so happy and so will I. He was born and spent his first 5 weeks in the woods and always had his liberty so being kept indoors must seem like a punishment. Thank goodness the 10 days confinement are nearly over.

This tiredness is getting me down. Today I couldn't even call it a siesta as I had to go to bed before lunch after a busy morning. I got home and could barely stand, head spinning, just didn't have the enegy to get lunch ready so went to bed for an hour.

Yes, it is hot here, too hot for me. Each summer I find the heat harder to take. So my moving plans may mean looking further north to cooler climes. I know it's unusually hot for you in the UK too. Do you find it debilitatin
@Tricot
Very hot here now.
Glad your cat is now free to roam.
Well done Tricot for getting that appointment and best wishes that you will receive the support and help you need.

I am a little all over the place at the moment and mobility playing up. I am awaiting further physio and neurologist appointment but it’s a long wait! Have to be a patient with Patience!
Meanwhile sending best wishes and a further well done! I have a sense your loving husband is clapping you and saying well done! Keep going!
If you feel tired, then listen to your body and rest! We are pretty bad at not picking up clues and have our own agenda when our body says stop and rest!
So give yourself permission to do so!
Everything is better after a rest!
 

Cazzita

Registered User
May 12, 2018
606
0
Hello @Tricot , how are you feeling today? Hopefully, it will be cooler tomorrow and we can all feel a bit more 'normal'. Hope you are okay x
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Thank you for your messages @ Cazzita and @ Alder. I'm pretty dysfunctional at the moment. Thank goodness I have to feed the neighbour's little cat as it gets me up, washed and out with the dog. Walking always does me good. I saw 2 deer in the woods yesterday morning, one was a baby and then 2 again in the evening in a different place! Plus one bird with a green chest which I haven't looked up yet. These are precious moments of joy.

It's so unsettling looking for a house. Sometimes I think I'm kidding myself that I can have a life in a new place. I have little flashes when I think it will be alright but mostly I'm just struggling to do the everyday things to keep me and my animals alive. That's quite enough to cope with. I think about new neighbours and whether/when there will be a day when they will find me dancing in the street in my nightie. Such different thoughts from last time we were house-hunting.

At least it's cooler. I'll feel better when I've found somewhere to live and can focus on that. I'm all over the place at the moment, literally and metaphorically! Thank goodness for Google maps.
 

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
Thank you for your messages @ Cazzita and @ Alder. I'm pretty dysfunctional at the moment. Thank goodness I have to feed the neighbour's little cat as it gets me up, washed and out with the dog. Walking always does me good. I saw 2 deer in the woods yesterday morning, one was a baby and then 2 again in the evening in a different place! Plus one bird with a green chest which I haven't looked up yet. These are precious moments of joy.

It's so unsettling looking for a house. Sometimes I think I'm kidding myself that I can have a life in a new place. I have little flashes when I think it will be alright but mostly I'm just struggling to do the everyday things to keep me and my animals alive. That's quite enough to cope with. I think about new neighbours and whether/when there will be a day when they will find me dancing in the street in my nightie. Such different thoughts from last time we were house-hunting.

At least it's cooler. I'll feel better when I've found somewhere to live and can focus on that. I'm all over the place at the moment, literally and metaphorically! Thank goodness for Google maps.
@Tricot
Nature is very healing and it’s always a delight to come across wild creatures . How wonderful.
Did you have thunderstorms? It’s cooler now thank goodness.
Hope your visit to psychologist went ok.
Indeed you have lots to sort out and moving forward into the unknown is always unsettling especially as you are doing it on your own! That’s jolly brave! In fact, incredibly brave.
Glad the looking after the cat has turned into a positive for you now. The getting up, the realisation that an animal is reliant on you and it gives you structure and
meaning. Last week it felt so problematic with the door keys/ locks and everything…. But you did it and it’s turned into a positive! Well done Tricot!
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Thank you so much @ Alder. You are full of kindness and must have been a wonderful special needs teacher. I hope you have a good day today.
 

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
Thank you so much @ Alder. You are full of kindness and must have been a wonderful special needs teacher. I hope you have a good day today.
@Tricot
That’s very kind of you to say that. But I believe in helping one another on this journey of life with all its many challenges.
Today has been a difficult one for me with a range of symptoms from thinking, speaking, walking.
If I think too much about it, I can feel a sort of panic within myself and project fears into the future.
It’s jolly hard some days to remain relaxed, to breathe deeply and to just accept the moment.
Today was not a good one, but hey tomorrow may be better.
I am meeting some old teacher friends tomorrow and we have not met up for a while because of the pandemic.
I wonder if I’ll cope! I’m not the person I once was… I get muddled in speech and have a heaviness of movement around me and I don’t always understand what’s being said either. I just hope that they will understand and not expect too much of me.
I have read that it is important to continue to meet up with people, to keep social events because it’s one way to help your brain function better.
Another way is to
excercise and I need to up this whilst waiting for physio.

meanwhile I hope you are able to find joy in the little things of life, the sweet animals and birds and the trees that surround us.
I have three foxes that visit me each night and they are just like dogs awaiting a treat.
I just love taking time watching animals and their behaviour! There is so much to learn from them and their ‘personalities’ come through if you take time to observe them .

Well that’s all for now. Sending you every good wish and thank you for your kindness towards me as we travel on this journey together! Night night.
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
@Tricot
That’s very kind of you to say that. But I believe in helping one another on this journey of life with all its many challenges.
Today has been a difficult one for me with a range of symptoms from thinking, speaking, walking.
If I think too much about it, I can feel a sort of panic within myself and project fears into the future.
It’s jolly hard some days to remain relaxed, to breathe deeply and to just accept the moment.
Today was not a good one, but hey tomorrow may be better.
I am meeting some old teacher friends tomorrow and we have not met up for a while because of the pandemic.
I wonder if I’ll cope! I’m not the person I once was… I get muddled in speech and have a heaviness of movement around me and I don’t always understand what’s being said either. I just hope that they will understand and not expect too much of me.
I have read that it is important to continue to meet up with people, to keep social events because it’s one way to help your brain function better.
Another way is to
excercise and I need to up this whilst waiting for physio.

meanwhile I hope you are able to find joy in the little things of life, the sweet animals and birds and the trees that surround us.
I have three foxes that visit me each night and they are just like dogs awaiting a treat.
I just love taking time watching animals and their behaviour! There is so much to learn from them and their ‘personalities’ come through if you take time to observe them .

Well that’s all for now. Sending you every good wish and thank you for your kindness towards me as we travel on this journey together! Night night.
Night night @ Alder. Hope you sleep well and have a better day tomorrow. I'm sure your teacher friends will be understanding. You will be glad you made the effort.
 

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
Night night @ Alder. Hope you sleep well and have a better day tomorrow. I'm sure your teacher friends will be understanding. You will be glad you made the effort.
@Tricot
Thank you for your kind message.
I did manage yesterday and enjoyed meeting up with friends.
The more tired I got then the problems started to reveal themselves.
Ah well, it is what it is and I can’t do much about it! Acceptance makes you more relaxed.
I hope all is going ok with you and your cat is better. It must be time for your neighbours to return?
Take care . Will write again soon.
 

Cazzita

Registered User
May 12, 2018
606
0
Hello again.
Glad to hear you are feeling a little better and yes, nature has it's own healing magic at times, thank goodness.
Hope you find the house that suits and that you love. xx
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Hope you're doing ok @ Alder. I planned to update you but will have to leave it until tomorrow. Just so tired as I missed my nap. Went to view a house. I'm glad your meeting went well. Social contact is important. Thanks for your message Cazzita.
 

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
Hope you're doing ok @ Alder. I planned to update you but will have to leave it until tomorrow. Just so tired as I missed my nap. Went to view a house. I'm glad your meeting went well. Social contact is important. Thanks for your message Cazzita.
Hello@Tricot
That is exciting viewing a house! Was it what you are looking for?
No wonder you are tired. I would find decision making tiring.
I had. GP appointment about my shoulder and he asked if I would like to be referred to the hospital for an op and I said I could not make a decision as it’s one of my problems! Anyway he was very kind and we left it for the moment. Goodness knows how I would be if I had to make a decision about buying a house! Well done you!
I have had a number of social engagements recently. People seem to want to catch up after the lockdown. I can feel overwhelmed with this cause it takes so much energy. First in organising myself to get there. Then in keeping up with the conversation. And finally becoming unable to function as the fatigue hits me. The walking goes as well.
Anyways it’s good to keep up and to socialise because it all helps your brain. But there is a pay back involved as well.
I think it’s because it takes so much energy to function. Before I did not understand this as everything was ‘automatic’ but now that there is a glitch in the system and function is much more of a challenge.
But I will try not to get despondent and just try my best after all that’s all one can do.
Keep going my friend. Rest up and pace yourself. Keep the brain ticking over and find joy in the smallest things of life, your love of the outdoors and the animals.
Animals are so loving they always accept you unconditionally!
Best wishes to you and good luck in the adventure of finding a new place x
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Hello@Tricot
That is exciting viewing a house! Was it what you are looking for?
No wonder you are tired. I would find decision making tiring.
I had. GP appointment about my shoulder and he asked if I would like to be referred to the hospital for an op and I said I could not make a decision as it’s one of my problems! Anyway he was very kind and we left it for the moment. Goodness knows how I would be if I had to make a decision about buying a house! Well done you!
I have had a number of social engagements recently. People seem to want to catch up after the lockdown. I can feel overwhelmed with this cause it takes so much energy. First in organising myself to get there. Then in keeping up with the conversation. And finally becoming unable to function as the fatigue hits me. The walking goes as well.
Anyways it’s good to keep up and to socialise because it all helps your brain. But there is a pay back involved as well.
I think it’s because it takes so much energy to function. Before I did not understand this as everything was ‘automatic’ but now that there is a glitch in the system and function is much more of a challenge.
But I will try not to get despondent and just try my best after all that’s all one can do.
Keep going my friend. Rest up and pace yourself. Keep the brain ticking over and find joy in the smallest things of life, your love of the outdoors and the animals.
Animals are so loving they always accept you unconditionally!
Best wishes to you and good luck in the adventure of finding a new place x
Hello again@ Alder. Sorry you have a bad shoulder to worry about as well. I understand about the difficulty making decisions. Sometimes I finally make a decision but then I forget and find myself doing the thing I decided not to.

I thought at first that house-hunting would be fun, especially now I have a buyer. It's turning into a nightmare. I spend too many waking hours on the internet searching then I forget where I looked and find myself looking at the same houses again. I'm very worried about all the uncertainty involved in moving house. It's probably the worst thing I could be doing in my state of mind.

Do you drive? I'm very worried about my driving. My concentration is getting worse and I hear noises in the car and think there's something wrong with it or i think other drivers are flashing me to tell me there's something wrong. My anticipation and understanding of the traffic situation is not what it was. I only drive on little country roads, familiar routes. Nothing 'challenging" except that I do begin to find it a challenge. So I'd like to find somewhere where I can walk to shops etc or a very short easy drive. But there are so few houses in my price range.

Oh well, on a more positive note, I have 2 neighbours coming for coffee this afternoon and we will open the chocolates my other neighbour gave me for looking after her cat.

Talking of cats, I'm a little concerned about my poor pussy who had the operation on his ears. One of them is looking sore so we have vet's appointment for Thursday.

Take care, Alder, and be kind to yourself.
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Meant to add we saw a baby hare in the woods less than 50 meters away! It must be exciting for you to see foxes in your garden. I've never seen one.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,138
0
Kent
Hello @Tricot

I just want to tell you my husband was treated for depression for more than a year before he had a diagnosis.

Have your doctors suggested you have a brain scan?
 

Tricot

Registered User
Jun 20, 2017
113
0
France
Hello Sylvia
I had a brain scan in 2017. The radiologist said it showed "moderately more" white matter hyperintensities than expected for my age, probably due to high blood pressure. When I was referred from the local memory clinic to the regional centre for memory problems I showed the doctor this scan and asked if it could explain my struggles with remembering things. He said no. He was very dismissive.

Just to add - I saw the same radiologist a few months ago and asked him the same question. His answer was yes! But things have moved on in 4 years and it's now about much more than memory.
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,138
0
Kent
Hello @Tricot

Have you considered asking for a second opinion, preferably a Neurologist? There must be some answers for you. Your symptoms seem way more than can be attributed to depression and even though I have no medical expertise, I do think you are being `fobbed off`.

If you actually are suffering depression, surely there is medication which could help you.
 

Alder

Registered User
Mar 27, 2021
20
0
Hello again@ Alder. Sorry you have a bad shoulder to worry about as well. I understand about the difficulty making decisions. Sometimes I finally make a decision but then I forget and find myself doing the thing I decided not to.

I thought at first that house-hunting would be fun, especially now I have a buyer. It's turning into a nightmare. I spend too many waking hours on the internet searching then I forget where I looked and find myself looking at the same houses again. I'm very worried about all the uncertainty involved in moving house. It's probably the worst thing I could be doing in my state of mind.

Do you drive? I'm very worried about my driving. My concentration is getting worse and I hear noises in the car and think there's something wrong with it or i think other drivers are flashing me to tell me there's something wrong. My anticipation and understanding of the traffic situation is not what it was. I only drive on little country roads, familiar routes. Nothing 'challenging" except that I do begin to find it a challenge. So I'd like to find somewhere where I can walk to shops etc or a very short easy drive. But there are so few houses in my price range.

Oh well, on a more positive note, I have 2 neighbours coming for coffee this afternoon and we will open the chocolates my other neighbour gave me for looking after her cat.

Talking of cats, I'm a little concerned about my poor pussy who had the operation on his ears. One of them is looking sore so we have vet's appointment for Thursday.

Take care, Alder, and be kind to yourself.