So fed up tonight

[connie]

Well I thought I had life a bit sorted after Lionel resumed living back at home.

Carers in place, morning and evening, and I had April respite to look forward to.
System working not too badly, although Lionels grip on reality is fading fast.
Had my April break, and had to give the home a ring today (re his lost glasses),when I enquired if all was well for his stay in June.

Sharp intake of breath at end of phone then, "did you not know that we now have no vacancies at all". You can imagine how I feel. I have 10day holiday in Portugal, booked and fully paid for, and now no respite care.

I cannot put Lionel anywhere else, after the trauma he has been through this year
he would not cope. The only other answer will be to have a carer live in.
So we will have to pay for a live in carer, plus our normal carers, as Lionel cannot be managed by just one person.

He has to fund all this himself, and even then it is not an ideal solution.
Just wanted to get this off my chest, I feel like screaming.....................
Can't even resort to a stiff drink. He feel out of bed at 3.am on Tuesday morning and I had to call out paramedics..............looks very bad if you have been drinking.

Ah well, just another day in the bl***y aweful life of a carer.

Love to all, look after yourselves, Connie

(PS I still love him, it's not his fault)

 

[Nutty Nan]

Dear Connie,
Sorry to read of your new problems. It seems that no matter how much we organise, tie ourselves in knots, explore all avenues ...... there is always that proverbial spanner which defeats our efforts. Can't win most of the time, but knowing you, you will not let the B*****s get you down.
Portugal in June sounds pretty good to me. Keep us posted so that we can share 'by proxy'.
Best wishes!

 

[jarnee]

I don't know what to say.....certainly there's nothing I can say to make this any better. Why suddenly no room at the inn (so to speak!) You must have thought there was otherwise you wouldn't have booked the holiday.

Really sorry about this. Let us know how it works out.

HEY !!!!!......Don't worry....I've thought of a way to help....I'll have that drink for you.....now, doesn't that feel better??!! (Sorry, warped sense of humour!)

Jarnee

 

[Tender Face]

Dear Connie,

I'm so sorry for you, and so thankful for your honesty.

My son said to me today 'But, mum, how are we ever going to get a holiday when we can't even leave grandma for day?' (Our rare family holidays are very simple, UK affairs - usually (for all sorts of reasons I won't go into long weekends rather than even a week at a time) but they are essential 'family time' and that much needed break. I had really hoped THIS YEAR was THE YEAR... and now not to be.... it appears. Connie, I know I just felt, some how, some way I have got to manage to organise something for everyone else's sake as well as my own - and if mum doesn't like whatever arrangements I have to put in place then she is going to have to recognise that my being 'on call' or five minutes away (I think it was Norman first said it '24/7 x 365') is just going to have to give.

I don't know what else to do except send a hug. (I could try a G&T by proxy, see if that helps???!!)

Love, Tender Face, x

 

[connie]

Cheers

Dear Jarnee, yes respite was approved before I booked my holiday, last December. I had to twist their arm to book so far in advance, but need one to go hand in hand with the other.

I have just made myself a cup of tea, so go have that drink on me.......I feel better already,

Connie. (P.S. So whats yet another G&T between friends)

 

[Tender Face]

Jarnee,

Great minds and all that - give you five minutes - raid the cabinet and I promise I will be sat here raising a glass to Connie and wishing her luck!

And Connie, when you get to Portugal I trust you will sit in the sunshine thinking of those here on a rain-sodden English afternoon and raise your glass of port and drink to us!

Huge hugs, x

 

[jarnee]

Glad I could be of use. In fact anytime anyone wants help of that nature, I'm happy to oblige.... hic !
J
XX

 

[connie]

Sorry, if its Portugal it has to be a large plate of sardines and a cold bottle (or two) of Vino Verde.

But when I get there (not if, but when) I shall raise more that one glass to all you wonderful people on TP.

Love Connie

 

[Margarita]

By hook or by crook, you got to find a way to get Lionel in another care home, I think its Norman that always says a littlie white lie

Plan A …….How about saying to Lionel that you got to stay in hospital for a week because of your back? While telling him this you’re cuddling him hugging him & your usual care home has no vacancies. Does Lionel know your going on holiday ?

If So
Plan B anyone ?

 

[Tender Face]

But when I get there (not if, but when)
Love Connie

That's the spirit (no, that's the gin!).....

Hugs, x

 

[jarnee]

TF

Oh yes, very good....very quick. Score one to you

J
x

PS....I find it does me good to have a little whine now and the ....or is that wine ??

 

[Lynne]

Suggestion for Plan B (& maybe C)

... I enquired if all was well for his stay in June.
Sharp intake of breath at end of phone then, "did you not know that we now have no vacancies at all". You can imagine how I feel. I have 10day holiday in Portugal, booked and fully paid for, and now no respite care.

Connie, can you not exert a bit of muscle on the Care home which has let you down?
Draw yourself up to your full 5 ft. 2 inches, and go for the jugular

If you had already booked in well ahead, this is their cock-up, which puts you 'in the right'. You are after all a paying customer.
How about a formal letter of complaint to the manager, complaining vigorously about their inefficiency (of management, it's not a 'quality of care' issue of course) and asking them what they intend to do about it.
I appreciate that they cannot create a vacant room if they genuinely don't have one, but perhaps they might have a cancellation?

Another thought is could any of Lionel's children come to stay with him in June, plus the existing care arrangements and maybe whatever 'extras' could be put in place for the duration of your holiday. OK, they may not have done it before, but wouldn't it be worth a try? It might even lead to a bit of additional family support for you both in normal times.

Can't think of anything else at the mo', but will certainly think about it some more.

 

[connie]

Wheeeee

Just had a result. Been on to the care home, who have admitted a slight mix up on their behalf.

I must admit I did have to twist their arm in the first place, to get a secure promise of respite so far in advance.

However they have been really nice, and have now assured me that Lionel will be housed somewhere within the unit. (They are due to have 8 extra dementia beds opened soon in the old convent - but they are going as soon as they become available.

I guess it really does not pay them to keep respite beds, with all the extra work that it entails, when they can just as easily take in permanent residents.

With regard to September - I am trying to forward plan - they will take Lionel for three weeks, but with no guarantee that it will be at the currant home in Sudbury.
They have a new home due to be opened by then nearer to Ipswitch. I have agree to this, as some of the staff will transfer. So fingers crossed, all will be well.

Lionel is so bad today, do not know how we managed to get him up and washed.
He is very depressed with his life at present. I just feel so sad for him.

Take care now, Connie

 

[connie]

Lynne dear, I trust that was tongue in cheek about Lionel's children helping out.

Three hour visit, four times a year, is all he gets from his daughter, and his son does not even acknowledge him. Ah well - their loss as I am sure they will realise when it is too late.

Thanks for all the suggestions, and offers of drinks on my behalf. Very much appreciated. It made me feel better just to post originally. Love Connie

 

[Lynne]

Just had a result. Been on to the care home, who have admitted a slight mix up on their behalf.

I must admit I did have to twist their arm in the first place, to get a secure promise of respite so far in advance.

However they have been really nice, and have now assured me that Lionel will be housed somewhere within the unit. (They are due to have 8 extra dementia beds opened soon in the old convent - but they are going as soon as they become available.

Yayyyyy - Score one to Connie & Lionel!

Sorry if I was off the beam suggesting his children might take an interest in the problem. How CAN blood relatives be so uncaring?

 

[Tender Face]

Great news, Connie. Might have to open a bottle of something in celebration later!

Sorry, it's not been a good day, but hopefully you now have something positive to focus on ....

Hugs, Tender Face

 

[Bets]

Phew - what a relief, Connie! I only read this thread today and was so upset for you at the beginning, but glad there is a happy ending after all.

Bets

 

[Lynne]

Great news, Connie. Might have to open a bottle of something in celebration later! Hugs, Tender Face

It's just "ANY excuse will do" for you dipsomaniac types, isn't it! Bad news, good news - hit the juice

 

[May]

Hi Connie
Like Bets only just read this thread, felt dreadful for you, a holiday vision whisked away just like that. So glad you've trounced the care home ...even if you did have to twist arms Take care


Lynne

Bad news, good news - hit the juice

Is there any other way?....

 

[Áine]

I'm so glad to hear you sorted this Connie It's so difficult to manage booking holiday and care for someone at the same time and getting it all to match up. Well done, and hope you enjoy Portugal.