So far four ch's rejected mum

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by SueShell, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    Mum needs to leave hospital and I've been running around seeing the CHs the SW has given me, but so far every time they come to hospital to assess Mum they won't take her!

    Saw another one today and its really lovely and it also has nursing staff. I can drive there and its near a bus route, perfect. The senior nurse is coming to assess her tomorrow morning at the hospital. I'm so worried it will be another rejection. The SW is really eager to get her out the hospital and its certainly not doing Mum any good, she's giving up, really miserable, lost loads of weight and has had peripheral pneumonia. What is really annoying is if Mum is that bad that 4 CHs have rejected her how comes SS were happy to let her come home and expect me to care for her !

    Keep your fingers crossed for Mum and I for tomorrow's assessment. Hugs to all. Sued
  2. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    It beggars belief Sue that they tried so hard to send your Mum home and now you're having trouble finding a placement.

    I was going to say that perhaps she needs nursing care but you have said that the team visiting tomorrow have nursing staff so I'm assuming it's a nursing home.

    I have everything crossed for a positive result for you both.
  3. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Keeping everything crossed for you both for tomorrow Sue, you need this sorted so that you can concentrate on your own health, are you going to be there when they visit your Mum? X
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Oh I hope it goes well, Sue, fingers and everything else crossed for you. This just shows everyone involved just how ridiculous it was to expect you to be able to cope when four teams of professionals have said they can't. I hope those people who were pushing you all feel ashamed of themselves.
  5. Mums helper

    Mums helper Registered User

    Sep 7, 2014
    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a good result!
    We are almost in the same position. Over Xmas mum went into hospital and we realised we cannot manage at home any more. Social worker was allocated yesterday but they've still not been in touch. I'd like to get mum moved as although they are being brilliant and providing 1-1, I feel she is slipping away. She's been asleep for the past 48 hours, waking up to go to the loo.
    How long did it take to get the list of care homes? Wishing you good luck with it all x

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  6. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    Unfortunately I won't be there, but I did see the nurse who is assessing her tomorrow to make things clear regarding Mum as some of the nurses notes aren't exactly true eg eating and drinking well, she isn't eating ; incontinent, no she isn't but she has to wait so long for a bedpan that by time the nurses get around to it she can't hold on any longer!

    Mums Helper: The hospital SW gave me some CHs to visit. Not sure how true it is but I was told that a hospital bed costs £1,000 per day to keep someone in hospital which is why they do not like bed blocking. However the reality is that there isn't enough CH places for the elderly to go to.
  7. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Glad you were able to speak to the person assessing your Mum, I was advised by my Mums SW to speak to the person assessing my Mum, so rang her the day before her visit and gave her all the background on my Mum and was able to make it quite clear that we wouldn't just be dumping Mum and leaving her to it, I was able to say that Mum still had good days occasionally and we had seen an improvement in her calmness since she had been started on her medication. I also said how much I liked the care home and how it would mean so much for us to have Mum at their home. I think I must have poured my heart out that day, but anyway Mum got in so hope the same thing will happen for your Mum tomorrow xx


    WILLIAMR Account Closed

    Apr 12, 2014
    CHC funding.

    My step mother had to go in to care a big part was due to violence.
    The Social Worker wanted the bungalow which she lived in sold to pay for her care but I was the legal owner.
    About 50 homes rejected her but CHC funding was agreed.
    A home was suddenly found at £1,050 a week but the social worker said a special funding meeting would have to take place and because of annual leave etc it could not take place for 2 weeks.
    She did say she could go straight away if I paid and kept on saying it was immoral I had a fully paid for house along with the parental bungalow I had inherited.
    I just refused to pay as it was nothing to do with me.
    She was in the care home 3 days later on CHC funding.

  9. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    Do hope the assessment goes well and that your Mum can be settled soon. Are the care homes giving feedback on why they won't take your Mum? If she gets rejected again perhaps the SW needs to be a bit more focussed on giving you a list of homes that should be able to take her - it's just more stress for you to go running round looking at homes that won't be able to meet your Mum's needs.
  10. Not so Rosy

    Not so Rosy Registered User

    Nov 30, 2013
    I am sorry you are going through all this.

    I never even got to the point where care home managers assessed my Dad, he was being rejected just on the paperwork.

    I believe it pushed SS to apply for CHC funding which he was granted and with 24 hours to spare I found a Nursing Home for him. The whole system is a dreadful muddle and a minefield. :mad:
  11. Ash148

    Ash148 Registered User

    Jan 1, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland
    Good luck!

    We're in the opposite but similarly difficult position today of being told by mum's care home that she will have to leave as they cannot meet her needs

    WILLIAMR Account Closed

    Apr 12, 2014
    Hi SueShell

    In my area I am convinced there are sufficient places.
    I think Social Services / NHS don't like funding them.
    My step mother was in hospital for about 4 weeks after they said she was fit to be discharged.
    The Social Worker said at the start the home she finished up in would be ideal but it was £1,050 a week.
    She was expecting the bungalow she was living in to be sold to fund her care even though I was the owner.
    I was told by relatives of residents who had been there months there were always empty rooms.
    In the end my step mother obtained CHC funding.


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