My daughter is having a lot of medical investigations going on at the moment locally and it's all quite complicated, it all involves this awful mesh stuff that has been in the news a lot lately,anyway she had an operation where they put this mesh in 2 yrs ago and shes been unwell, and lots of pain ever since. Shes now under a consultant based in Bristol, Wales as he specialises in this field. My problem is I promised her I would do with her to her appointment inn2nweeks time, it's a 4 and half hour drive away and shes not sure what going to happen they have told her they have found something else on her latest scan so obviously she is nervous, I spoke to hubby about this a couple months ago when I knew I needed to go with her, we have to stay overnight as it's an early appointment. I kept reminding him about it asking him if he was ok to go to short respite, he agreed reluctantly, I picked out a really lovely place overlooking the sea. The manager there is coming to assess him tomorrow, I spoke to him about this and reminded him who was coming and all hel broke loose. Hes defiant hes not going anywhere I could do what I want but hes staying put at home. He was really shouting, calling me selfish !!!! He cant do anything to look after himself, he can hardly walk, he has falls and has now started to wet himself. I'm so very upset and angry with him. He says he will stay on his own but I know he couldnt do that, he cant even carry a cup of tea nor glass of water. The assers are coming tomorrow and I'm still going to let them and hope they can talk him round but not holding my breath. I'm really upset and worried about my daughter, I really cant bear to look at my hubby at moment, hes always been very selfish for 57 yrs we've been married and even under the vascular dementia umbrella it's still there deep down . I dont know what to do. I feel sick being so upset., its breaking my heart for my daughter.. it's strange because when he goes to his day centre, everyone says how great he is, they all like him and then driver of the transport bus that brings him home, hrnthinks hes a "top bloke " But when he comes home he says was a miserable day it was and he doesn't want to go anymore and hes really nasty to me ignores me if I talk to him never a please or thankyou but chats all the time at day centre. I really dont like him at all at the moment but I'm hoping and praying h changes his mind about my hospital trip. it's not looking likely though.