Not seen dad for a few weeks as last time I ended up in tears. He is in the mid to later stages and last time he told me not to bother coming again! His usual greeting of "F*c# off and die," has disappeared as not speaking much now and he is sleeping most the day. Dad is in a care home several miles away. It is just so difficult watching him go further down hill. And to top it all, I have just started a job as a carer in an old peoples residential home and feel quite guilty that I'm not looking after my own dad!! Please don't judge me. My brother told me that neither of us would have been able to cope with dad, as he can still be aggressive, mainly verbally, though he did lash out at me last time I saw him. I know it's the dementia and I do understand that, though it is heartbreaking to see our own dad go down hill like this. Meanwhile, job wise, I'm still finding my way round the home (closer to home and not where dad is), am actually enjoying it. Yes there are residents with dementia and am so pleased I became a Dementia Friend last year. Am planning to go visit my dad tomorrow, shall be taking some cds to play him, we use to enjoy the sing-a-longs and shall see if that helps again. His sight isn't good so hasn't read for some time. He gets irritable very easily. Just needed to get back on this forum, where others understand what it's like to see a loved one with this cruel illness.