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So Cross!

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,399
South of the Border
We all know that family and friends often do not 'get it'........

I am told by Social Services that I am on the point of breakdown, and need to get away. I have booked a lovely little 4 night break in Scotland, and I emailed OH's 2 children and asked could one of them 'take up the slack' here.

His daughter readily agreed she would come down - which I thought was a change of attitude for her.

It's now only 2 weeks to my hols, so I emailed her this morning, just to make sure everything was OK as I had not heard from her for a couple of months.

Now I realise she is looking at a cheap holiday in lovely Devon - not caring for a frail and confused old chap. She mentioned the words 'we will be coming down' and I queried the 'we' and it turns out she is coming down with her partner, and three dogs !! ( 2 of them large, and all sleep with them) She did not ask if she could bring them all, just took it for granted.

I said it could be difficult as I sleep in a single bed, and I was putting her in my room........she did not even see the reason to come down whilst I was still here, so I could run through her father's care needs.........

Oh well, that will teach me to assume people are singing from the same hymn sheet....
 

Loisand

Registered User
Dec 25, 2017
136
We all know that family and friends often do not 'get it'........

I am told by Social Services that I am on the point of breakdown, and need to get away. I have booked a lovely little 4 night break in Scotland, and I emailed OH's 2 children and asked could one of them 'take up the slack' here.

His daughter readily agreed she would come down - which I thought was a change of attitude for her.

It's now only 2 weeks to my hols, so I emailed her this morning, just to make sure everything was OK as I had not heard from her for a couple of months.

Now I realise she is looking at a cheap holiday in lovely Devon - not caring for a frail and confused old chap. She mentioned the words 'we will be coming down' and I queried the 'we' and it turns out she is coming down with her partner, and three dogs !! ( 2 of them large, and all sleep with them) She did not ask if she could bring them all, just took it for granted.

I said it could be difficult as I sleep in a single bed, and I was putting her in my room........she did not even see the reason to come down whilst I was still here, so I could run through her father's care needs.........

Oh well, that will teach me to assume people are singing from the same hymn sheet....
Ahh enjoy your break, as you leave say to her " welcome to my world" and if I was you I would leave your mobile phone at home....have a lovely break, recharge your batteries xx
 

Roseleigh

Registered User
Dec 26, 2016
306
Yes don’t worry about telling her about his care needs, she’ll be on a steep learning curve. Her father may well be in hosting mode though and give her an easier time.
 

sue surprised

Registered User
Sep 21, 2017
2
Northern Michigan
My hubby can recall how to ride the small town bus transit so I get 2 2 hour respites when he rides to9 the gym across town. It is like a breath from Heaven. Don't feel guilty for taking a break
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,399
South of the Border
Yes don’t worry about telling her about his care needs, she’ll be on a steep learning curve. Her father may well be in hosting mode though and give her an easier time.
Yes, I had thought about the hosting mode ! I thought it so rude that she didn't tell me who was coming and that they were bringing three dogs. We rent, and are not supposed to have pets in the house.....

Never mind! I fully intend going off with a smile on my face and leaving them to it - I have also booked a cleaner to come in for a couple of hours to give the place a going over after the dogs !!
 

lilypat

Registered User
Mar 1, 2019
211
Yorkshire
@maryjoan hope you have a nice break .I slip away every Wednesday afternoon to go swimming....remembering to breath and stay afloat takes my mind off OH for at least 1 hour ....then once I am out I am rushing home back into carers mode .
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,399
South of the Border
@maryjoan hope you have a nice break .I slip away every Wednesday afternoon to go swimming....remembering to breath and stay afloat takes my mind off OH for at least 1 hour ....then once I am out I am rushing home back into carers mode .
I know - the hardest thing I find is being ' normal' for an hour or two is a bitter sweet thing, as we have to go back to our 'real' lives afterwards...... and our real lives are nothing like 'normal'... oh well....
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Enjoy your holiday my lovely. I’d actually turn your phone onto silent, & let whatever happens happen.
I will be planning an escape with hubby in September & will be selfishly hoping for poor phone coverage!
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,399
South of the Border
Does anyone have a PWD who coughs all the time? Illness ruled out by Dr, all tests taken and meds given.
GP thinks it is 'habit' - but it is a habit which is keeping me awake every night.....
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
436
Mid Lincs
My OH had a 'habit' of clearing his throat. He did all day long, just that repeated 2 syllable sound that I couldn't even attempt to spell.
Fortunately after one infection at the beginning of the year he seems to have forgotten all about it. :D
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,074
Victoria, Australia
My husband coughs a lot and after his cardiac arrest, the cardiologist put him on to a medication well known for having the side effect of coughing.

It annoyed him so much that he asked the cardiologist if he could take something else but the doctor just looked at him and told him with a deadpan face that he could do that if OH didn't want to live anymore.

But the cough has changed a bit in the last year or so and I think that it is because of his heart.

It was one of the reasons that we sleep in different rooms.
 

Brumsteve

Registered User
Feb 12, 2019
24
Go and have your break and recharge. We all deserve sometime me time and it'll be good for someone else to experience what you have to go through.
 

rhubarbtree

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
492
North West
Hi Maryjoan,

My OH has a persistent cough. He has had xrays, scans, everything possible, nothing found. He now uses a brown asthma inhaler (preventer) morning and evening and this keeps the cough at bay. If it does not get used because he is being awkward the cough will come back. He has not been diagnosed with asthma but I think the doctor feels if it works let well alone.