Morning everyone,
Thank you (yet again, you lovely lot!) for all the advice and support. Things have calmed here, OH is now seeing to all his own washing. ironing, and preparing his own food for work. He has also got stuck into the ironing and some of the housework, since Sunday evening (when we reached a truce) - whether it lasts or not, we'll see. I suspect it will take a lot more to get dau to do a little more, even now. She is currently in the thick of several GCSE's (mock and otherwise - and yes, JM - we are also suffering the 'exam strops' from her!), and she does do 2 to 3 sessions a week as a volunteer at the local childrens swimming classes,
BUT I have said that I expect her to tidy her 'stuff' away, clean the bath and tidy the bathroom after she has used it, and take a share of doing the dishes. I don't think that's an awful lot, even given what she has going on at the moment - but still, dau seems to feel that its all 'too much' for her
Each night, there are strong words exchanged over her not putting shampoo's and so on back where they belong, over her not cleaning the bath and over her clothes being left on the bathroom floor, along with wet towels and water splashes. And reminding her it was her turn for the dishes last night brought forth sighs and eye rolls and snappy replies. Then after she went up for bath and bed, I discovered that she had washed (but not dried) the dishes - and to add to it, she had been playing with some trick she had been told about by one of her friends, which involved a balloon and baking powder (dont ask - I have no idea!) and the sink, worktops, supposedly clean dishes and even the floor were covered in said baking powder
She was hauled downstairs to put it all right - and yet had the attitude that I was being extremely unreasonable and that I was totally out of order to be put out about the mess. I think its going to take some work to get her to be a little more reasonable. As for me - I need to stick to my guns about doing only so much and no more. OH said that 'work' had simply 'caught up' with him over the last couple of weeks, reminding me that nights play havoc with sleep patterns and he had been just too exhausted to help. Thats fine. But doing what I do 'catches up' with me too - so rather than just carry on and end up seething with resentment, I will be taking a leaf out of his book and when I feel 'too exhausted', well - I'll just stop and do a lot less too. I wonder what the reaction will be?
JM, sorry to read you have been struck by the lurgy, hun - really hope that you are on the mend quickly. I've not made much of an effort towards Christmas yet - got a couple of 'stocking fillers' for the kids and Mil, bought wrapping paper and gift tags - that's about it. I'm off Thursday and Friday this week (met with my manager for my one to one and she told me to take back some of the extra hours) and have my Christmas savings sitting there, so I hope to break the back of the present shopping then. As for cards, Spamar and Slugsta - only for Nearest and Dearest this year ! I'm leting it be known that I'm making a small donation to a charity in lieu of the rest of the cards - its something a few people I know do, and I like the idea.
Spamar - glad all your blood tests have come back clear, and hope the issuewith your heart can be helped to ease the breathlessness for you x
Grace and Amy - hope you are both OK?
Son and his GF have made a flying visit, and yesterday I took both to visit Mil - first time son has been to the home. Mil greeted me - then spotted son, she squealed his name and her whole face lit up, to the extent that the carers around us all said a collective 'Awwwwwww'
I'd been warned when we arrived that she was having an 'upset sort of day' - she had refused lunch and was very tearful and agitated. But seeing her grandson (who she seemed to actually know was her Grandson, yesterday) seemed to completely break the miserable mood for her - which was great. She got my name right, but 5 minutes later was asking me did I know Ann? and telling me about how Ann's boyfriend had cut her hair for her. Then a few minutes after that, she was talking about me to son, and referring to me as her cousin. Son's GF - who she hadn't met before - was greeted politely when they were introduced, then within a short time, Mil was confabulating away about their shared history - fair play to R, son's girl friend - she just played along and was very sweet with Mil. A lot of disjointed chat from her - everything said very clearly, but just jumping from one delusion/confabulation to the next mid-sentence. 'This place' was work, a college, a school, 'just like that other place' she had been to and did I know if they were owned by the same people? After about 20 minutes, mentions of home started - Mil asked me to fetch her coat and I improvised that I'd taken her coat to the dry cleaners and would go pick it up for her now, ready for her to leave 'later' - and that's how we took our leave yesterday, though once again, it took a member of staff to help distract.
The assistant manageress told us that a doctor had been to see Mil, ready for the best interest meeting (tomorrow) as regards the DOL's - apparently a doctor has to be involved to help decide capacity (yet again - how many times do they have to decide that she has no capacity? Such a waste of time and resources!). Apparently , despite being told several times that he was a doctor, Mil referred to him as 'Father' throughout the whole visit, talked to him about 'keeping the church nice', and went into a bit of a panic as he left, as she didn't have half a crown for the collection. The manageress said that Mil was 'very sweet' throughout - and that she didn't think that there would be any silly arguments about Mil having capacity
Long day today, work wise - but want everything done so I can take the next couple of days off, and get the bulk of the Xmas gifts organised.
Hope you all have a good day xxxx