Morning all,
Spamar, so glad you enjoyed the second concert, and especially glad that you are feeling better. As I've said, I love the heat and the sun, but even I've found that over the last couple of weeks, its sometimes been so muggy that I've found it uncomfortable - I was really glad of the ceiling fan in the bedroom last night, that's for sure.
Slugsta, Its not good that your Mum isn't getting her evening meal regularly. Have you any idea why she would refuse it? If I remember rightly, she was quite happy for her friends carer's to prepare her meal at one stage, wasn't she? So have you any idea what the issue is now? It might help if you knew, and could let the carer's know - if they know the reason for the refusal, then it might be quite easy to persuade or reassure your Mum and encourage her to accept their help and have the meal? Maybe your Mum is regarding them as 'visitors' and doesn't want to put them to the trouble of making food for her? Though having said that, they really should be noting each and every occasion she refuses in the care plan - that's one of the things its there for, to have a record so any issues can be flagged up quickly!
The incontinence problems are so hard to make a call on
Mil becomming incontinent nearly every night happened really suddenly - from being dry, 99% of the time, to the bed being soaked virtually every morning, wasn't a gradual thing at all. Fitting mattress covers and adding kylies and so on to protect the bedding was done fairly easily (and I would reccommend a waterproof duvet cover, btw) - though it took me a while to find the best products to use, because of Mil's habit of stripping off the protection. But getting her to accept pull ups was so much harder - Mil would never accept that she had had an accident. At best, she would insist that the bed was 'only damp' because she had been sweating in the night (and then would object to me stripping the bed, insisting it was only sweat and I should just leave it to 'air out'). At worst, she would accuse me or 'somebody' of sneaking into her room in the night and pouring water over her bed to 'get her into trouble' . In the face of such denial, it was flipping hard to get her to accept the pull ups. In the end, I sent a pack with her, into respite, and they managed to persuade her to first try them at night - I just kept on with it when she came home, despite sometimes furious argument from Mil that they were not needed. I wish that at that point I'd also introduced them during the day - there was only an occasional day time accident at that time, though there were issues with stress incontinence and not using loo paper which could leave her less than fresh. But bowel incontinence during the day started as abruptly as the night time incontinence did and it would have been so much easier if she had been using them during the day at that point. The bowel issues were intermittent, for a week or so there would be fairly regular accidents, then perhaps a period of 2 weeks or so, where there were none, then back to frequent accidents for several days. But it couldn't be predicted, so it was far better to have her using the pull ups all the time. I guess what I am trying to say is that in my experience, once incontinence starts to happen, I really think that the sooner incontinence pads or pull ups are in place, the better, simply because the progression is so unpredictable and things can get worse very quickly and with very little warning
OH, youngest and I visited Mil yesterday, after we had dropped oldest at the train station for her journey back to Coventry. With youngest there, we had to use the 'visitors room' and you know, if I could ever afford it, I'd donate cash to do
something with that area - its a longish, cream, cell like room, just outside the final set of doors into the ward. Its always stuffy, with one window (that barely opens) facing a fence thats only a couple of feet away, one picture on the wall, and 4 plastic chairs around a wonky formica-topped table. Its so flipping dismal and uncomfortable! No wonder that there have been several occasions when Mil has been convinced that she is in a prison when we have had to use that room. We found Mil to be almost 'dopey' for want of a better word. Rambling, several references to having bet on a horse (?) and then some strange tale of 'pulling letters from a bag' - she got 'J' and 'B', I got 'C' and 'G', she named oldest dau and son, and said they got some too - but quite where the tale was going, we have no idea, as though she mentioned it a few times, each time she trailed off, completely losing the thread of whatever it was she was trying to tell us. There were also several references to'the big fellow' (who she said was her bosses brother at one point) and how she was 'in trouble' with him. There was also a query about what had I done with the 'babby', which had my heart dropping like a stone, though she didn't linger on that one, thank goodness. She had trouble keeping her eyes open and her speech was defintiely a bit slurry. There was some odd awareness though, which was awfully sad - she said to me that she wished she could remember things better, that everything was 'foggy', and a few minutes later, she looked straight at me and said she was worried, because she kept forgetting words that she wanted to say. We didn't stay long - she really wasn't with it at all, and seemed terribly sleepy - we assumed that she had been given a hefty dose of prn meds, tbh, though when I asked as we were leaving, we were told no - she had only had her usual meds, she was just 'very chilled' . I would have said 'totally spaced out' was a better discription!
Once again, there was a biggish bag of washing for me - which is fine, I'm glad to be getting more than the odd item here and there - however, once again, there were absolutely sodden night clothes. They were in a separate bag within the main laundry, but the bag wasn't sealed, just the top folded over, and the smell of pee was starting to seep into the car before we got home - not nice. Worse when I opened the bag fully to put the stuff in the machine - really acrid and strong. I really don't know whats going on, why I am suddenly getting so much urine soaked stuff - they have pull ups there (I took some in) so I can only assume that Mil is again going through a phase where she must be removing them in the night because they are wet, and then having more accidents after she has taken them off. Not a lot anyone can do about that, I guess - just hope that she doesn't end up with any infections as a result
We went to a couple of car booties yesterday morning, before oldest left - ages since we have done that, but on a really lovely sunny day, they are good fun - and you never know when you will find a bargain or something 'special'. Yesterday, we stumbled across a rather nice but fed up looking chap, who had various boxes of second hand odds and end - amongst which was a large box, stuffed full of camera's. Youngest and I stopped to have a nosy, and found vintage kodak brownies, Ilfords, and various other old film camera's. Daughter instantly picked up a couple and the guy asked for £2 for both. I asked the price on another, and the guy said why didn't we take the whole box - for £10!!! We asked repeatedly was he sure, and clearly glad to be rid of them, he said he was. We bit his hand off - I have a couple of vintage camera's on display at home, but some of these were obviously older. Back home, we sorted through - I thought about 30 camera's, looking into the box, but I'd really underestimated - maybe 65 or more in total! About 30 of them date from late 1980's to '90's, but the rest are all a lot older, with some dating back to the early 1940's. A lot in original boxes and cases too. Plus some really old flash units and filters. Old camera's (unless they date back to the very first days of photography) aren't particularly valuable - most were so sturdy that there are still a lot of them around, and the cost of film photography these days is so expensive as to make them not particularly desireable - but even so. Youngest and I catalogued about 30 - 40 of them, and worked out that taking off the cost of buying them, and basing the value on the assumption that many probably wouldn't work (though actually, I think a lot do!) and so far the value is up to about £150! Not a fortune, and not that we will sell them - they are just too cool and too gorgeous to part with, for the most part
OH has said he will make me a display wall unit to put the oldest and nicest on, the rest will be packed carefully away and stored - because you never know and because its almost like we have around a 70 to 80 year history of the camera now, and the idea of that has both me and youngest really delighted. OH thinks that they will look 'nice' on display - but he really didn't get mine and youngests fascination with them, lol.
Not expecting to hear from Mil's consultant today, as the meeting is tomorrow. I'm not going in today, I've decided that every other day/3 times a week is probably enough - its not that I don't want to go, but more and more she seems to have difficulties coping with visits - for the most part, they seem to unsettle her and she is indicating that she wants us gone or that she is becomming agitated after just 20 - 30 minutes at the most. And if she is agitated when I get there, there is no doubt that seeing me (or OH) actually makes her worse
I don't know why she is like this at the moment, but lately, I feel like I've not done her any good at all by being there. OH has been encouraging me to cut back too - he is only going once a week, twice at the most, due to his shifts, and says he actually feels better for having more of a break, and he wants me to do the same. Once I start work, I may find even 3 or 4 times a week impossible, anyway
No idea what I'm up to today - pootling and sorting camera's, probably
Amy, Grace, Red, Izzy and everyone else - hope you guys are all OK?
Have a good day, everyone xxxx