1. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    2Js, yes, I know that situation very well! I'm sorry that you can't see a way out of the dark hole at the moment and sincerely hope you will get the help you need soon.
     
  2. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,875
    Suffolk
    (((((Hugs))))) 2 Jays. I’m not as bad as you ( most of the time!)
     
  3. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,979
    Female
    Chester
    Whoops - thought I had sent @2jays some hugs

    Sounds like you need some as well @Slugsta - hope your gastroscopy went well.

    Spamar I hope you are OK as well.

    Ann hope all is well.

    Over here A levels are finally finished, so stress levels have plummeted thankfully.

    Some of you may have seen the issues with the leaked edexcel maths paper which dau did sit, so hopefully a fair result will come out of it all.

    Dau had been told this was the last time I was colouring her hair but has decided to try doing it herself, in part so bleached it last night, the natural colour brown is now a pale ginger, which doesn't suit her, and the ends are whitish. She had it cut in a bob last weeks so less hair to dye at least. She is bleaching it again now and then purple this afternoon, all ready for a night out in Liverpool tonight. She is staying at a friends but I'll be waking up all night to check she has texted to say she is back at friends (she expects this to be about 3am!!)

    Dau has been told she is expected to do her fair share of chores going forward, and has committed to all the ironing plus other chores, but asked that she doesn't have to do so much that she doesn't get to do her own stuff in the next 3 weeks - whatever the issues we have she has always done some chores. We did give her a talking to about attitude last night.

    When I first started posting on TP she was 12, and whilst my mum has deteriorated, I certainly didn't expect her to still be in sheltered extra care when my dau turned 18, and left school. I expected mum to be much further along the progress of this disease and in a home. Although to be fair I suspect at the stage she is at she wouldn't have settled into sheltered extra care and would have needed a home.

    Mum is 89 and when the crisis happened and before she was adamant she wouldn't make 90 as no one in her family ever has, but at Christmas she was convinced she would make 100, although I really hope she doesn't.

    Odd which events make you look back and forward.
     
  4. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,525
    West Midlands
    Thanks for the hugs Juggles and everyone xxxxx

    I’m feeling physically so much better than I have for ages. It was mooted about that I may have diabetes2 which I’m not convinced about, blood tests were borderline, and I had eaten a sugary cake not long before having blood test.... so another test has been requested.

    I have and am delaying this test as it took a long time to get the blood out of me last time, and I passed out - veins collapse and then it’s painful - so not keen. Anyway we follow a diabetic diet because 2J has diet controlled diabetes so I guess it’s no more marshmallows or sugary buns and I will be ok - maybe....

    After being rejected by “ladder” as their ladder wasn’t suitable for my kind of issues... I was given phone numbers to contact other places. To be honest, it was hard enough contact the first lot, let alone now having to contact another lot, to be told there is a 6 month waiting list....

    I’m less down that dark hole than I was, I’m forcing myself and 2js to do something out of the home and garden and things are beginning to seem less bad.... it’s just when I go into the garage that isn’t good... been avoiding the garage... again :rolleyes:

    Love to all. The sun is shining and we are getting ready for a gang invasion for the weekend of only 7 extra people - 4 little people who I’m really getting to enjoy now they are past the terrible 2’s :)
     
  5. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,525
    West Midlands
    Sorry not to have given support to all, as you can see I’m still a bit self obsessed but keep in mind I do think of you all every day xxx
     
  6. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Sending lots of (((hugs))) to Jm and 2Js.

    My scope went Ok. They found a polyp in my duodenum which they took biopsies from - they are sure that it is benign at the moment but will want to remove it if it is the kind that can turn nasty. I have also seen my GP today as my liver enzymes are raised (again) so we are going to retest in 2 weeks.
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,875
    Suffolk
    (((((Hugs))))) to everyone, seems like you all need them!
    Hope things turn out OK, Slugsta. Definitely not what you need or want. I’m just sitting here admiring the blue sky! But boy, did we have some rain, thunder and lightening on Tuesday night! Apparently the bottom of the road is covered in sand. I an near the top of a bit of a hill - nothing that JM on her bike would notice though - and the soil is very sandy ( it’s not called The Sandlings for nothing!)
    However, I must go out tomorrow and get things done!

    Love to all.
     
  8. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    <waves to Spamar>
     
  9. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,875
    Suffolk
    Grins back!
     
  10. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,979
    Female
    Chester
    So in the land of the never ending juggling contest my washing machine didn't turn on this morning. Checked plug and it wasn't fully in socket, and wouldn't go in, so pulled it out, it seems to have melted a bit and the melted plastic round the prong was stopping it going into the socket. The cable from the machine was pulled tight, so maybe on the spin cycle it pulled out a bit and shorted. We weren't in the house so glad it didn't go on fire. I popped in about half an hour after it had finished and hung washing out, and didn't notice any burning smell, so must have been very minor, although we had left back door open for dog (we were at neighbours).

    So quite lucky I suppose all things considered.

    My progress so far is dishwasher on adjoining socket works, then plugged in a lamp to washing machine socket and that works so now to replace plug on machine and see if it works. I'm leaving that to OH as he is out for the day and no backlog of washing. I could do it but he'll do it in a third of the time it takes me and tell me I should have waited for him to do it so leaving him to it.

    If it doesn't work guess machine might be knackered. Will have to borrow neighbours until can get a new one. Now dau has finished school she'll be able to sort that out.

    In other news took mum's food round, she was snoozing in one of the lounges, post lunch nap which I know she takes in that lounge (was later than intended as realised I had forgotten her keys when I got to Morrison's). I took the opportunity to rummage through the piles of paper works he has, mainly junk mail. I found some invoices from a new care co (only found letter saying she had a new care co on last visit or so - polo shirts different colour but same staff so hadn't realised). Anyway these invoices go back to care from Novermber/December time, but first one seems to be dated March as it states issues in sorting things out - found another letter saying old care co went into liquidation. Also a letter dating 7th June demanding payment to date, but no other threat to demand.

    The invoices should not go to my mum, they should go to me. the charges do look correct so I am OK with them - hadn't missed them as old care co hadn't invoiced for time and I wasn't 100% sure why as I had agreed the charges so will have to raise further queries.

    I had got the normal call to say mum had no food - so when I queried if she had bread I was told she did but she couldn't live on bread alone (yes I know that but I don't want to buy bread if she has it). I then asked if she had cakes and cereal to be told they couldn't find anything in any of the cupboards - I said I know she has enough cereal to last a while as she doesn't eat it very fast - they didn't know. I am fed up of being told she has run out of certain things and going there and finding she has them.

    I also had to use her loo whilst I was there (would have used public one downstairs if she had been in flat). That was not in an acceptable condition, but I didn't have gloves to be able to do anything about it, stuff was smeared where it shouldn't be.

    I will be having a bit of a rant tomorrow.
     
  11. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    18,555
    Male
    North Manchester
    Not to worry about overheated plug/socket, machine is OK, just a not fully inserted plug causing arching, visually inspect and replace anything looking knackered.

    Everything else par for the dementia experience.
    Carry on juggling !!!
     
  12. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,979
    Female
    Chester
    fuse was checked by swapping it over to another plug and that was fine, so it was only the melted plastic on the prong (probably a more technical term) that was an issue.

    OH said he could have scraped that down but thought not sensible so put a different plug on. WAshing machine now working, with plenty of flex free so won't pull out at the moment.

    Now feeling stressed as I don't want to have to do battle tomorrow with the various different bits of mum's sheltered extra care. Care team are on site so care issues with them, then finance issues a different phone call, and there is another finance issue linked to flat service charge increase which is the housing association - who send most post to me but not this one document every year. I might skip that last one until Tuesday as not so urgent.
     
  13. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I'm glad you have a working washing machine Jm. Hope you got what you needed today without having to expend too much time and energy.
     
  14. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    4,979
    Female
    Chester
    Thanks @Slugsta.

    I spoke to care senior that I needed to speak with and also finance people so see what that does.

    I think the Housing Assoc finance person is at my mum's 'village' on a Tuesday so will try and sort that out then. I need to speak to her anyway as one of the DD's hasn't gone through.
     
  15. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Hi everyone, long time, no see. A hugely busy few weeks, triggering a fibro flare ( worse I've ever had) and very little time spent on computor as its not particularly comfortable to do anything much at the moment.

    Glad the exam stress is over for you with dau, JM. Not a nice time for anyone! I felt for you with the bleaching and hair colour - youngest is very much into all that at the moment, and with her its the usual issues with mess and being careless. I sorted about 8 or 9 towels that were a tiny bit shabby or already stained with bleach into a cupooard in the bathroom, and she was well warned to use ONLY them when dying/bleaching her hair. She took so much notice of that, that I ended up insisting she replace another 3 bath towels out of her own pocket. Another mini row over that, of course - and then just two days ago, after she and a friend had a colouring session (dau now had blue, tourquiose and purple hair!), yet another 'good' towel found with bleach stains :mad:

    Know exactly what you mean about finding yourself suddenly reminded about how things have changed - and not always in the way you expect - when it comes to dementia. I can't believe Mil is still going, so many health problems, nearly 12 years since diagnosis. She remains really calm, which is a massive blessing - but she is often unwell now with her breathing, and we are just on a sort of alert all the time. Just 3 days ago, another late evening call, a duty doctor summoned to the home because of her breathing, and because she had had a fall - he wanted to admit her to hospital, but OH, after ascertaining that she wasn't in pain, that there was no evidence of any serious injury (or even minor injury) or pain after the fall, that her breathing wasn't causing any stress (she is more or less used to the coughing ad occasional panting, it seems) and that in reality, it was more or less a case of the GP covering his back, said No - and again reiterrated that she is only to go into hospital IF she is suffering and admitting her is the only way to relieve it. DNR is in place, there have been so many discussions about hospital admissions and teatment, but as soon as you add either new or agency staff or a locum GP to the mix, we have to go through it all again. Its like you having to pull the agency/care company on the same things over and over - so wearying and it just shouldn't have to be done xxx

    2Jays, I hope things have started to get brighter for you, my love. Sending big squishy hugs and I prescribe a trip to the canaries - 68 days till we go again, its good to have something lijke that to look forward too xxx

    Slugsta, hope the biopsy results are good, and they can sort out the other problems for you . Sending you some hugs too. Hows Sky Cat doing by the way - I often think about her? xxxx

    Spamar, Hope you were able to get out - we had two weeks of what felt like constant rain, on the run up to the blessed garden project being finished - the turf, due to be laid over a week befor the 'grand' opening, couldn't be lifted due to the waterlogged fields - in the end, they finally got some to us at 4pm on the day before the opening, and it resulted in the landscapers, myself and a couple of volunteers staying till gone 8pm that night to get it finished.

    The garden project is, I think, the biggest reason for the fibro playing up. The last 3 weeks of it caused a level of stress that was horrendous, as well as demanding long, long hours, in order to ensure it was finished on time. It was finished, opened by the Mayor, with a lot of guests and high ups from the charity I work for in attendance- and it looks fantastic, the feedback was amazing, and - most importantly - the young people I supported to get it done were incredibly thrilled with the result. I was determined it would include as manyof their ideas and wishes as possible, and I am proud that I managed to juggle the budget, orginse the work and work crews and deliver just about everything they wanted. But it was delivered at a price, and I will never, ever commit to a project like that again. There was a distinct lack of support, no allowances made for what it involved, and so many unecessary hurdles and issues caused by several of the 'agencies' that I had to work with, especially my employers. I actually had nightmares about the darn thing towards the end, and it totally took over my life. And as I said, left with a flare up of the fibro which is taking a hell of a long time to ease off.

    The Sunday after the opening, Dau was in the RAH, perfoming with her theatre group. OH and I travelled down to Londoon, to see her, and although I would not have missed it for the world, 5 hours there and five hours back on a coach really added to my discomfort - timing couldn't have been worse, I weas in so much pain through the whole day. And so cross that a work project had resulted in me not being able to enjoy the whole thing as much as I otherwise would have done.

    We have all been missing Busta very badly. Even now, I forget for a split second and look round for him, or call him for a treat or food. At the same time, the house feels 'wrong' with just two dogs here - 3 work really well for us. So, we had started talking, with no time frame, and we had decided that we would (eventually) get another dog.

    Then, 3 days ago, daughter came and showed me an ad she had found - when we were looking for Luna, she signed up to several sites and is still getting notifications through. The picture was of a 13 week old Bichon Frise - and she said 'something about it had just grabbed her'. I looked at the pic, and *ping* - I fell in love. However, I told her No, not yet - and then when she went to work, spent the afternoon researching the breed. When OH came home, I showed him the ad and the photograph. Half an hour later I was on the phone to the current owner. She has always had Bichon's and had sadly lost her brother and sister pair just a few months earlier, within 9 days of each other (they were 15). She had finally decided to get another pup, chosen, paid for and arranged to collect this little fellow - and then broke her leg, very badly - around 6 months in plaster ahead, and then surgey followed by at least another 6 months till she is back on her feet. She called herself stupid for thinking she could cope, and still taking the puppy at 12 weeks - because within 24 hours, she realised she couldn't cope. She couldn't train him, walk him, stuggled to clean up after him - and so she made the best decision for the pup, though it was obviously heart breaking for her and looked for a new home for him. We were the last of maybe a dozen enquiries since she had placed the advert that afternoon. And we clicked - I apparently asked all the right questions, she wanted the pup to go where the new family were doggy experienced and had other dogs. So, the next day, off we went to Liverpool and . . .

    Meet Gryff

    66691352_390040211623552_209621406504189952_n.jpg 64650815_10219487443247540_7822229447200735232_n.jpg

    65951494_331982454396170_4152048097402290176_n.jpg
    Seamus and Luna have really taken to him, though Seamus is slightly bemused about this bold tiny white creature who has no respect for him at all - even so, Seamus' tail is constantly wagging. Luna just adores him - plays with him, so gentle with him, even very maternal and grooms him, lol - and he is her shadow.

    He obviously isn't Busta, and can't replace him, no dog could - but he already has his own place with us, and it feels right. There's all the usual hard work associated with a puppy involved, but its not a chore - he has, like Luna and Shay before him - just fitted right in.

    Sending masses of love to you all, as always xxx
     
  16. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Ann, it is lovely to hear from you :)

    I'm so sorry to hear that all the work on the garden project, whilst being so successful, has left you in terrible pain. I can't even imagine how awful the long couch trip to RAH must have been (((hugs))). I guess you have had no time for job hunting either?!

    It is very good to hear that MIL remains calm and content. It is no less than she deserves after all those years of torment.

    I'm also sorry that daughter is still being such a pain. I do find it hard to accept disrespect for my belongings and even 'cheap' things turn expensive if they have to be replaced frequently :mad:

    I'm glad you have another holiday to anticipate, really hope your fibro flare has resolved before then so that you can really enjoy the break. You prompted me to check how long it is until our hols - 71 days (10 weeks tomorrow) :)

    Welcome to your new home Gryff. What a little sweetie he is :) The young lady who house-sits for us has a 10 year old Bichon, they seem very good natured little dogs and I wish you many years of fun with him.

    Sky is still doing really well, thank you. It's hard to believe that we came so close to losing her 2 years ago! She is still on a low dose of steroid which I juggle at home depending on how itchy she is (don't think the itching is related to the original problem) and, hence, still happily confined to our bedroom. She is still terribly timid, runs and hides if either of us move too fast, but also very loving. Alf is enjoying this warmer weather and is out 'untin' for much of the day.

    The weather here has been warm and dry for several weeks. The temps today are predicted to be well into the 20s but also 80% humidity, which is rather less pleasant!

    Sending (((hugs))) to all.
     
  17. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,875
    Suffolk
    Hi everybody, so good to have a catch-up! Ann and JM, sympathise over daughters! My oldest granddau has allowed her hair to grow since she left school a year ago, it’s just about sit on able now!
    She does some hair modelling, but is not allowing it to be cut or coloured, just styled. She just got a new job, starting September, at the nursery school she used to attend! It will be better for her, hours are the same every week, so easier to schedule makeup sessions. She really want to do makeup, she’s very good at it, but it takes a while to break into makeup as a career!

    Lovely to hear about Skycat, Slugsta.

    Im just jogging along, cursing arthritis almost every day! Perhaps jogging is not the right word. Though I certainly reached a trot yesterday! Met a friend for coffee at a supermarket which has a two hour parking time. Looked at watch, one minute to go! Yikes! Silly system really, cos I had to go this morning to get the few things I wanted! Eat a lot of fruit and yogurt, neither of which keep for very long. Plus, even though it’s a small market town supermarket, can’t always get around in one go, or even with a stop for coffee.

    Don’t get old! Imagine you’re feeling the same way, Ann. And you’re younger than me!
    Have lost some weight, enough for people to notice and, thanks to incessant nagging from cousins wife, have bought some new clothes. That’s something I’ve not done for some years!

    Love to you all!
     
  18. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,525
    West Midlands
    Love to all

    Nearly at the top of the ladder. Gosh it’s good to see daylight :)

    Went on “holiday” to Swansea for the weekend. Son lives in South Wales and invited us to watch Swansea air show with them.

    Now I love the grandchildren..... but not at 5am.... so we decided to stay in a hotel near the bay. BIG MISTAKE !!

    The air show was fabulous amazing brilliant. The hotel rooms ..... well the 4* place was just ok, the restaurant food looked nice but was tepid and revolting, causing me to return one meal during the night in the en-suite......

    Being a “captive audience” we had no other choice but to stay at the hotel for meals, so we thought beef burger and chip would be a relatively ok choice for something hot. Only the oven chips were hot......

    Oh gosh the whole experience did make me laugh o_O :mad:
     
  19. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,875
    Suffolk
    I’m so sorry, 2Jays, you must be disappointed. but I hope grandchildren were good and the air show fabulous!
     
  20. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,525
    West Midlands

    At least the whole experience didn’t tip me back down the ladder. It made me furious and I’ve not had that feeling, or any feelings for a while :)
     

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