So bizarre !

[Slugsta]

Awwww. bless Luna!

I have just been reading that animal rescues find it difficult to re-home black dogs. I know they have that problem with black cats, because many people consider them 'unlucky'*, but was sad to read that the same applies to dogs too. Even worse, that many people don't want them because they will be 'difficult to photograph for Instagram

Thanks for the MIL update. It seems that she is pretty much holding her own physically. It is a pity that there seems to be a rapid turnover of staff at the CH

I hope the decorating has gone well and you are pleased with the results.It is much milder here with a predicted high of 8C - and we are due to be back into double figures (just) tomorrow. I hope everyone else is also getting some better weather.

* We have 2 black cats and consider ourselves lucky to have them.

 

[Spamar]

Bit of a frost this morning. I don’t think we are going to make the giddy heights of double figures for a while yet!

If you can’t take a decent photo of a black dog, doesn’t it reflect on your photography skills? Or does everybody just point and shoot and hope?

I’m going to try and start sorting today, just enough to get started properly when stepdau comes at the end of the week! I note there is still stuff in the spare room that just doesn’t belong there! But ended up there after party and Christmas! Sort and/or throw away!

 

[Slugsta]

I confess that I rarely get decent photos of my black cats and don't really care. My cats are family, not photographic props.

 

[Spamar]

Quite right too!

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Luna can be hard to photograph - but that didn't even feature on the list of considerations when we got her! Just not important, and I think its awful if black dogs and cats are over looked for a reason like that! As you say, Slugsta - our pets are part of the family, not photographic props - and I say that as someone who loves photography, as you all know!

Mad busy week here, topped off by an awful tummy bug of some sort that kept me up all Wednesday night - I can't remember ever being so sick! Thankfully, I'd already worked nearly all my hours by that point. Not so thankfully, I logged on to my work email to find that I was one of many who's account had been hit by some sort of virus - over 400 very odd emails waiting for me! Explained to my boss I was ill, still spent over an hour contacting IT and following instructions - which included them resetting my passwords. Feeling better today, I tried to log on this morning, just to see if there was anything urgent to deal with - new password doesn't work, can't get on my laptop, or access my emails from my phone or anywhere else. To cap it all, my printer also decided to die on me earlier this week ! Now trying to decide if I should even attempt to sort this out this morning, knowing full well it will take me well over my hours again - or leave it until Monday afternoon?

OH has been to see Mil, and again, she was in her room. Its about 3 weeks now since either of us have visited and found her in the lounge, but it's been hard to find out why. Visiting tomorrow, and hoping I can manage to grab a familiar face for a chat, just to find out whats going on.

Decorating in front room finished, grey paint came out a lot darker than the colour switch on the tin suggested, but it looks nice. New curtains arrived, but annoyingly, new nets haven't - apparently been lost in the post, so now waiting for the replacement to get here. Wondering if I should just buy a cheap length of net today, as it may take as much as a week for the replacement to get here - I binned the old set (they ripped across the top as I was taking them down to wash, beyond repair) - and currently have a fetching covering of windowlene on the windows, to give us some privacy - which is driving me mad!

Not as cold at the moment - but boy, is it wet! Heavy rain for a lot of yesterday, and today its also chucking it down at the moment. Seamus is all worked up, because he wants out for his walks - but not while its raining, thank you very much! Luna and Busta really don't care if its wet or not - but taking Seamus out when its raining lets us in for him complaining at being wet, then complaining when we dry him, then him sitting with his back to us, shivering, sulking and moaning, for at least 30 minutes afterwards !

Right - time to get moving. Plenty to catch up on after spending most of yesterday feeling like a limp dish cloth! Hoping all of you are OK, and sending love to all xxxx

 

[Slugsta]

Morning all,

Ann, I'm sorry you have been so poorly, tummy bugs really take the stuffing out of you (((hugs))).

I did laugh at your description of Seamus Anyone who think that animals don't 'talk' has clearly never been owned by one!

The IT issues sound even more of a PITA than the tummy upset So frustrating when you can't just get on and do what you need to.

I hope you are able to find out what is going on with MIL.

No aqaugym this morning as I wasn't able to get a session (too many people chasing places) but I must admit that I was glad to look at the clock and realise that I could go back to sleep The weather sounds pretty rough here too today.

(((hugs))) for all.

 

[Spamar]

Morning,
Ann, illness and computer problems sound horrible, my sympathies, hope you soon feel better and computer gets sorted.

Bet you were glad to curl up this morning, Slugsta! It’s meant to be a howling gale and rain all day here today. It’s windy, but only a smidge of rain so far. My stepdau is due now, but she might get delayed if traffic routed around bridge cos of wind! It can get really awful, jammed up with traffic in local town then. We shall see!

Tuesday joined some friends for Chinese New Year lunch. Really nice to see them and food was superb!

The reason stepdau is coming is so I can do some clearing, especially in the study. Lots and lots of books and papers! Looked at it yesterday, gave up! Started this morning, not long before I gave up with sore legs and sore back. I’m just waiting for her to come so I can sit there and say no, no, yes as appropriate. But I have got a bag of chuck books already. Stopped at the really old books!

Have as good a day as possible everyone!

 

[Slugsta]

Good luck with the clearing out Spamar!

I went out for coffee with a friend today, the weather is dire, I'm glad to be back home again.

 

[Ann Mac]

Good luck with the clearing, Spamar - I have a couple of rooms upstairs that need a huge clear out - but I keep putting it off!

Slugsta, don't blame you being happier back home - we had heavy rain for most of Friday, and throughout Friday night/Saturday early morning, we got well and truely battered by the high winds. I actually slept until about 4.30am, Saturday morning, but got up to find this . . .

Part of a chimney had come crashing through the roof of the covered decking, just outside the french doors, leading to the back garden We have a security cam, and so we know it came down at 4.15 a.m. (in fact, I think thats what woke me!) For once, I'd slept a little later than usual - thankfully, because thats directly above where I sit for my coffee and smoke, when I get up.

And this is the object that did the damage

OH has checked, and it hasn't come from our chimney - but our adjoining neighbour says it can't have come from his either, so its a bit of a puzzle. Either way, very glad that I wasn't sat under it - and that although it came to rest against the french doors, which we only fitted a few months ago, it didn't do any damage to them!

Its still a little bit blowy - and very rainy - but hoping it eases off later, so we can get the roof damage repaired - not quite how we planned to spend the weekend

 

[Slugsta]

Ann, that looks too close for comfort! Thank heavens you had slept later and weren't sitting there when it fell I wonder where it came from!

 

[Spamar]

Agree with Slugsta, that was too close for comfort! Really glad you’re OK! (((((Hugs))))).

Well, parts of the place are really tidy, a complete shelf in study cleared, even some kitchen cupboards- you know, the ones that have spare/odd crockery? All gone! Huge amount to the tip. We parked the ‘wrong’ side, well it was the only available place to park, so stepdau was doing a lot of walking! Then to charity shop, there was a full large shopping trolley full! Mostly crockery and vases, but a few other bits as well. The guy who took it even said he’d take the trolley back! Not that it was very far, but it was the thought we appreciated. Then to relax over a cup of coffee! A day and half well spent and I am much relieved! I certainly have done it myself, unless it was a few minutes a day!

Been raining all day so far! Waiting for some fine weather.

Have a good day, everybody.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

It feels good to get rid of the clutter, doesn't it Spamar - Can't tell you how much we threw out or donated whilst sorting downstairs! OH is now sorting out his 'shed' - new storage cupboards and shelves, and already half a dozen trips to the skip. Upstairs has to be next!

We still don't know where the mysterious chimney flue came from. Ours is still safely encased in its pot cladding on our roof - next doors is missing, but he had work done several months ago, and says that the flue was removed then! The flue weighs about 5 or 6 lbs, I would imagine, so strong as the wind was, I can't see how it could have carried the darn thing for the distance and height needed for it to have travelled from any other near by houses, and come crashing through the decking roof the way it did ! We have security cams, so we know it came from the direction of the adjoining house, but as said, they are certain it isn't theirs. OH has repaired the damage now, but how it happened will have to remain a mystery, I think.

The virus on my work email remains a problem - can't tell you how many hours this week spent trying to sort it out. It was supposedly all fixed on Monday afternoon, It took me hours to delete all the bogus emails (which were mixed in with guenuine emails), but on Tuesday evening, another load of phishing emails were generated from my account, and yesterday, other than a project session, virtually all my hours were spent trying to get it fixed - and sending explanations and apologies to those who had received one of the bogus emails and who were contacting me to find out why I'd either sent a blank message, or to tell me that the 'link' I'd sent didn't work! To add to the fun, there was a delay on delivering my new work printer (the old one just stopped working a week or so back) - the virus, which is widespread, had meant the authorisation from my boss had been accidently deleted or just failed to reach supplies, so instead of it arriving on Monday, it only arrived last night. And the third and (hopefully) last bit of tech misery, my CF card reader died on me, so I can't move any pics from camera to computer to edit, until the replacement arrives!

The CHC manager has reared her head again - we have been invited to a CHC review on the 20th of this month I am hoping that this is just because its actually time for a review, as per guidelines, and not more hassle starting! There is no change in Mil - some days she is fiesty and you are dodging blows and dealing with OTT responses, verbal abuse and complete unpredictability, some days she is jerking and writhing and you can't make out what she is saying and the danger comes from her falling, some days she is very flat, sleepy and largely unaware. The 'flat' days, you could argue that she doesn't need the 1-1 - but they are impossible to predict and can change very quickly.

Son - who has been working as an officer support guard in a prison - has been offered the job of a Prison Officer. He loves the current job, is doing well, made some good friends - but he really wants to progress to Sports rehab instructor in the Prison service, and working as an officer is the first step. Unfortunately, as OH worked as an officer, I know all to well what that entails, and I admit, I was hoping son would stick where he is - but it looks like he is going to accept the new role. Its his life, his decision, so all we can do is support his choice - and worry ourselves sick about him!

I hope you bizzarites are all OK ? Thinking about you all, and sending much love xxxx

 

[Slugsta]

Morning all,

Ann, the work IT situation sounds an utter PITA! So sorry that you are having to spend time on that when you are already so overloaded.

Also sorry that HBM has reared her head again and really hope that this is no more than a 'rubber stamp' exercise.

I completely understand your concern for your son, especially as you know too well what the job can entail (((hugs)))

Spamar, I hope your clearing out did not leave you exhausted.

I also hope that everyone else is doing as well as possible (((hugs))).

Still not much happening here but I am heartened to see the days getting perceptably longer

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning everyone,

Usual busy busy busy here - today I have the company of my line manager and a VERY senior manager, who are spending the day with me at two of my projects - in both cases, we are at a National Trust property, doing some voluntary work. Hopefully, it will be a good day . . . however, all my young people have some form of autism, so there is a slight concern about one or two who can be rather - er - blunt, at times! For example, with one of these groups, we were chatting a week or so back about what we were spending on the garden, and I commented that people had been very kind about giving us discounts, adding that even the skip hire chap had given us the skip we needed at a very low price. One of the young ladies in the group asked me very seriously did I flirt with the chap, to get him to 'knock some money off'. Before I could answer, a young man in the group chipped in with 'If she had flirted with him he would have put the price up!'

I've also had a long chat with Nurse L about Mil's case review with CHC, on Wednesday. She told me that over the last 3 - 4 weeks Mil has, after both her lunch and dinner, made it very clear that she wants 'some peace' and has actually told the 1-1 to 'go away'. So, they have been taking her to her room, and the 1-1 has remained outside the door . Mil has apparently just sat back in her chair, listening to music or with one of her musical DVD's on, very calm, and as Nurse L put it, more relaxed than they have ever seen her. Nurse L feels this 'alone' time is doing Mil good, and has suggested that we tell HBM that it would be an idea to try withdrawing the 1-1 for an hour, after both lunch and tea, to give Mil this time to relax. Although the TD symptoms are still apparent, the severity is very much reduced (still twiches and jerks, most of the time, but not violently enough for her to end up on the floor), so from a safety point of view, Nurse L is certain that there will be no issues there either.

My first thought was - 'My God - is Mil actually getting some peace now, is the agitation finally lessening?' How amazing would that be for her, if that is finally happening. So I was tempted just to say yes, without qualification. But! My second thought was, given Mils history, was this likely to last? So, after a long discussion, its been decided that we propose those 2 x 1 hour 'alone times' for Mil, on a trial basis of 4 weeks, with obs to be carried out every 15 minutes, and on the understanding that IF there are any problems that the 1-1 is reinstated immediately.

I suspect the HBM will be shocked - I have always said that as soon as I am told that 1-1 could be reduced or removed, I would be delighted, because it would mean that the agitation and misery was easing for her - but I don't think the HBM has ever believed me. Several staff have said that she takes my fighting on Mils behalf very personally, and assumes that my arguing is more to do with 'getting one over' on the HBM, rather than guenuinely coming from a perspective of just wanting whats best for Mil. Having said that, there is of course, the liklihood of HBM walking in with the intention of removing all or most of Mils 1-1, anyway. But, Nurse L was very clear that for the rest of the time, its still very necessary - Mil still has periods every day of being verbally or physically threatening, and at those times (which are still pretty unpredictable) the 1-1 is essential for the safety of Mil and the other residents.

I can't help but hope now, though, that Mil just might be entering a peaceful phase of dementia - its been such a long time coming for her, it would just be such a relief for her (and us) if the poor woman is losing the paranoia and if the awful delusions/hallucinations stop. I know I shouldn't build my hopes up, I know Mil has a long history of her symptoms changing and worsening, but I have my fingers so tightly crossed, they are starting to hurt. Its well past time she had an easier ride!

Sending love to all the bizzarites, as always - I'll let you all know how the CHC review goes xxx

 

[Slugsta]

Morning all,

Ann, it would be no bad thing if your manager got a sight of how 'challenging' some of your clients can be at times. It is a joy to be with people with autism and know that they are being completely honest - but it can also be a reminder of the way tact, diplomacy and 'white lies' etc can smooth interactions with other people and reduce hurt feelings!

Like you, I'm very glad that MIL seems to be getting short periods of peace and really hope this continues. Also hope that the HBM doesn't use this as the excuse to remove 1:1 completely!

I went to let Alf into the lounge at 7am today and saw light coming from under the door. My first thought was that OH had woken early and gone into the lounge - but he had been evident in the bed next to me when Alf woke me. Second thought was that I had been norty and forgotten to switch the light off last night. I hadn't considered the very simple fact that I was seeing good old daylight! A sure sign that days are getting longer

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning everyone,

Its lovely that the mornings are starting to get lighter, isn't it, Slugsta And, we are supposedly going to get temps as high as 15c this weekend - though I'll believe that when I see it!

The CHC meeting yesterday was very much a non event! Nurse L contacted the HBM yesterday morning, told her what we proposed - and the response was that it sems we have everything under control, so yes, she would agree to everything, including the full funding remaining in place for the first week and a written guarantee that if the situation changes, the 12 hours per day will be reinstated immediately - and then added that she didn't see the point in us meeting, as it was all sorted! We have had seveal months now of no hassle, no attempts to remove Mils care, no demands for charts to be filled or ridiculous claims of why it would be 'better' for Mil to remove the care . . . maybe she has turned into a human!!! (Or maybe she has had her bum kicked over her previous behaviour - I think thats more likely, tbh )

I went to se Mil anyway, found her in her room with her 1-1, watching the end of some film which feautured a monkey and a chap dressed in very little clothing. No idea what it was (Not Tarzen - the chap was wearing what looked to be a very ragged Roman tunic!), but Mil seemed quite engrossed, and it wasn't till it was over that she paid me much attention. When I first went in the room though, and said Hello to her, she did reach her hand out to shake mine, and tell me she was 'pleased to meet' me. A split second later she then suddenly seemed to recognise me and said 'Hiya' - but that initial greeting was a bit disconcerting.

While she was watching the end of the film, I had a hunt for the still missing fluffy dog that the kids got her for Christmas. Oldest is coming down this weekend, and I know she will be a bit upset that its vanished. Not a sign of it in Mil's room. Nurse L (who, incidentally, is now the manager of the home) passed the door as I was searching, and I told her what I was doing. Off she went to make 'enquiries' - and came back with a fluffy black and white dog - which was about the 3rd of the size of Mils. I showed her photographs of Mil with the toy at Christmas, and to be fair, she organised a room check straight away. I know its only a toy, but although I'm pretty good now about not sweating the 'little' things, it does rankle that it's missing. It's so rare that Mil reacts positively to gifts, she just doesn't 'get' the idea of presents really now - but she did respond with such pleasure to that flipping toy, the kids were so thrilled with the succes of their gift and it matters to me that it went missing within just a couple of days of her having it. I explained why I'd like it found, saying I knew they were busy - Nurse M was there and chipped in asking me why I felt I had to justify asking them to look for it? She said that yes, things do go missing, its a constant problem in an EMI home - but at the end of the day, it's somethig that belongs to Mil, and its only right that its found. Still no sign of it by the time I left - but Nurse L said they were 'on a mission' to find it now, so hopefully, by the weekend and oldest being home, it will turn up.

Once the film had finished, Mil was ready to pay me at least a little attention She asked after her brother, Paddy, and then I got a bit of a rambling tale, something about him missing his tea and how he had said to her that he didn't think he would make it? A lot in between, but aside from the TD still affecting her jaw and tongue which makes her speech difficult to understand at times, she also seemed to be all over the place and lot of what I could make out just didn't make sense. But 'Really' and 'Fancy that!' and various other little interjections seem to content her, so that was OK. There was a lot of the calling for 'help' and a brief episode of counting my fingers (and digging her nail suddenly into the back of my hand, while she was at it) and several requests that seem to be about me taking her home, or taking her shopping. One quite sweet moment - youngest has dyed her hair red - not just auburn, or chestnutty red - but a real fire engine, screaming RED!
I had a picture on my phone and showed it to Mil. For a split second, she looked horrified and said "Oh - she's burning!" She was reassured really easily, and even laughed when I explained that no, it was just hair dye - then she totally blew my socks off, because she said something that sounded like a question - I couldn't quite make it out - but she used my youngests name! I hadn't said who the picture was of, just showed it to Mil, asking 'What do you think of that?' But somehow, she was able to put the right name to the face. Very odd!

Her tea was served while I was there - a baked potato with cheese, and two small triangle sandwiches, one egg mayo, one tuna. I find it so strange that Mil now tucks into food that , pre dementia, she always claimed to have hated! Cheese, mayo and tuna were 3 of things she had never eaten, and chese in particular she always said she detested. But, she ate the egg mayo with relish , then tried to tuck in to the baked potato! Cutting the spud was beyond her, so I helped - but then she had problems eating the skin (it was a bit on the crispy side for someone who won't wear her dentures!) . I offered to take the skin off, and out came the clearest sentence I heard all through the visit - 'No - you can give it to me', followed by her handing me the fork, and opening her mouth ready. So, I fed her the potato, and took my leave whilst she was tucking into - and clearly enjoying - the tuna sandwhich. As I was leaving, the 1-1 returned with Mils pud - 'Cheesecake' she announced with a big smile, 'Your favourite' - thats something else Mil had always refused to eat in the past too!

Right - time to get moving! I have 3 pieces of admin that I HAVE to get done this week, followed by a meeting, and that will take up the last of my hours this wek, so I intend to finish by about 1.30 - 2pm. Then get stuck into getting the house straight for oldest and her BF coming home tomorrow Her half term is this week - but round here its next wek, so hopefully, that will give me the time I need to get my admin up to date again. The visit from the big boss on Tuesday went really well. My young people were fabulous, they clearly enjoyed the day (helping out in a near by National Trust Property gardens) and I got a lot of really good feedback - I also got landed with a lot of extra work, because impact reports and feedback surveys were then asked for, and I was required to get the photos sorted for works social media pages and web site asap, but I guess better than it going badly!

@Spamar , @Amy in the US , @jugglingmum , @2jays and evryone else - hope you are all OK? Sending love to all xxxx

 

[Slugsta]

Hi Ann,

I'm glad that MIL was in good form when you visited I do hope the toy dog can be found, I understand why you are upset about it (((hugs))).

I'm also glad that the work visit went well, although a little unhappy that it has made even more work for you!

The matter of the PWD eating things they never used to like is a strange one and something I noticed with Mum - who would happily slurp a cup of tea in the CH when she had always hated it! In the end, I came to the conclusion that it was probably a combination of less sensitive taste buds and having forgotten that it wasn't liked in the past; thus eating it with an open mind.

It has been mild and dry here but, the temps having been up to 15C a couple of times, our predicted temps over the weekend have now dropped to 12C

 

[2jays]

Quick drop in

We are in Maderia with 4 grandchildren and their parents

15-16c which I think is colder than the uk. I packed light.... I’m a tad cold especially as there is no heating in the apartment and I don’t have a snuggly warm jumper

Shopping trip is on the cards today

 

[Spamar]

Sorry you packed light, 2 Jays ( tongue in cheek!). Hope you’re having a lovely time!

 

[Slugsta]

2Js, hope you have managed to find yourself something to keep you warm. The forecast was originally 18C for this weekend, but that has now been revised to 12C. It is damp, foggy and cool here thus far.