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Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Ann Mac, Jul 31, 2014.
It's an omen!!!
I'm getting over-excited. It will probably be tears before bedtime!
I suspect that there were tears, Red - I stayed up, curled up with a book on the sofa (like Slugsta, I would also rather stick pins in my eyes than watch!), and ignored OH shouting out instructions and comments to the screen. As soon as it was over, given the result, I shot off to bed! Son - another Liverpool fan - had gone to Liverpool to watch the match on big screens in some pub or other - glad he was there, and not home with us for once, as he was likely to be even more fed up and disappointed than OH.
Good for you, getting the shopping out of the way early, Spamar. I went after visiting Mil and was glad to find everywhere nice and quiet, for a change.
Took a good size flask of soup into Mil and found her in the lounge, making those awful inarticulate noises that we are increasingly hearing as she struggles to say something. She seemed to be getting quite agitated, and I didn't fancy my chances of calming her with anything, let alone a bowl of soup! However, staff told me that she hadn't eaten much the day before or that morning, so it was worth a try. I was provided with a bowl and spoon, poured out a good sized portion for her and headed to sit next to her. No recognition at all, just looking at me obviously puzzled by my familiar greeting - but, as soon as I said I had some 'leek soup for her', she actually sat forward and opened her mouth! So, I started to give it to her and couldn't believe the speed at which she emptied the bowl - as soon as one mouthful went down, she was like a fledgling with beak wide open for the next. She even managed to say 'nice' a couple of times. Just a couple of spoonfuls from the end, she turned her head slightly and so I asked did she want any more, thinking maybe she had had enough. She looked me straight in the face and very clearly said 'I'll have it all' - I had to laugh. And when she had finished that bowl, she equally clearly said 'More'. So, I checked with the staff that it was OK, filled the bowl to the brim with the last of it, went back to her - and she hoovered it up! I suspect that if I'd had any more to offer her, she would have had that too!
I took the empty bowl to the kitchen area and going back to Mil, found all signs of agitation had gone. She was sat back in her chair, snuggled by her cushions, and looking very sleepy. I stayed for another 15 minutes or so, just gently stroking her face as she half dozed, before leaving. Staff have suggested that if I want to bring in some portions of soup that can be frozen, that there would be room in the freezer at the CH to keep them there, for Mil to have if she doesn't seem keen on any meal offered - so soup making is on the task list for either today or tomorrow. Pre-dementia days, when Mil lived in her own place, if she was ever ill I would often cook a few meals for her and this soup was the thing she would enjoy the most while she was getting better, a sort of 'comfort' food. I am wondering, as she is very clearly not 100% at the moment (though no signs of infection) if it was the the sub-concious familiarity of it, if maybe it brought back that 'comfort food' feeling, that made her tuck into it yesterday, IYKWIM? The main thing is she enjoyed it, and it got liquids (which the CH have also been struggling to get her to have) into her. Won't actually make her better, obviously - but it may help her feel better, which is now more important.
The housework didn't get tackled as thoroughly as I'd intended, as antics at the bird table kept distracting me yesterday - especially the presence of our latest diner, who has made frequent visits over the last 3 days. Of all things, we have a young rook who has decided to become (for the moment at least) a regular guest. We really don't see many of them around here. Jackdaws yes - I have a family of 4, including 2 fledglings that are here daily, and you see large numbers of them everywhere when out and about - but I can't remember the last time I spotted a rook, even when out wandering the lanes and fields around the village. He dwarfs the jackdaws, although not quite fully grown, and is very skitty - and greedy. He is also surprisingly acrobatic - I've deliberately bought hanging feeders that are just for the smaller birds, difficult for the bigger pigeons, jackdaws and occasional jay and magpie to get at. They hang from slender curved poles on a standing feeder, the smaller birds having to actually perch on the containers to feed, something that the bigger ones can't manage. Didn't stop the rook though - he somehow balanced on the poles and is big enough to then reach down and get at the food. Fascinating to watch him, not the prettiest of birds I guess, but something quite stunning about him anyway.
Absolutely NO intention of venturing any further than the covered patio today - it looks like the forecast for thunder and lightning storms is going to be accurate - the rain has bounced down for the last 2 or 3 hours, and I've already heard some rumbles in the distance. I'm actually hoping for it to be as bad as is predicted, as I love watching a good storm!
Hope you all enjoy whats left of the BH weekend, much love to all xxxxx
Ann, I am glad that your visit turned out to be much better than you feared - and how lovely that you can actually do something practical for MIL again. You could be right about the reminder of past 'comfort' , or maybe it was the full tummy that caused the contentment - it doesn't really matter so long as she was content
My BFF rang a while ago and invited us over for a cream tea this afternoon, so that is now our plan. We will sit in the garden if the weather allows . . .
Hi @Ann Mac had to smile at your description of MIL enjoying the soup. Just like my mum! Every day she has soup at the CH & if I visit at teatime I spoon feed her with it, can't do it fast enough! She enjoys it so much her nose is virtually in the dish. Occasional comments of 'this is nice'! Like you say mouth open like a fledgling, when I wipe her mouth afterwards with a paper hankie in it goes & she starts chewing!
Not a happy bunny......
.....But glad about the soup, Ann.
Are you OK Red?
Yes @RedLou like @Slugsta I’d like to know what is happening right now with you? Write when you can, please do. Hugs to you in the meantime, just in case needed. And anyway hugs are never superfluous!
I'm fine, ladies. So sweet of you to be concerned. Just being silly about the result of the football match Ann alluded to in her post. You certainly never walk alone on this thread!
I think the not happy bunny may refer to the football results? There are a couple of 'not happy bunnies' in my family too, you see xxxx (edited - Just seen Red's post )
Slugsta, cream tea in the garden sounds lovely No chance of that here yesterday - torrential rain and lots of loud thunder for most of the day (though no big lightening displays, which was disappointing). It was almost unbearably hot though - couldn't open the windows because of the rain, but the patio doors (which have a covered decking directly outside) were wide open all day, trying to ease the heat. It was stiffling!
Hi Moggymad - she didn't quite go as far as trying to eat the napkins, lol, but after the ammount of soup she put away, I wouldn't have thought she would have room
Despite the rain, I spent an awful lot of yesterday sat on the decking with camera in hand. It seems forever since I took the time to do that, and I had a lovely time photographing the antics of the baby starlings, the occasional visit from the jackdaws - and much to my delight, Mr Rook appeared as I was sat there, and I was able to get a few shots of him too. The starlings make me laugh at this time of year, so I thought I'd sahe some of the photo's with you guys
Feeding demanding young
I got a small suet log feeder, thinking that the bigger birds wouldn't be able to perch on it and feed, meaning the smaller birds could get a share. Not only is the amazingly agile rook able to balance on the poles and reach down (something the other birds can't do cos they are not as big as him) but, one of the starling parents has developed a trick of actually flying close and hovering long enough to grab a mouthful
And finally, Mr Rook - with a face only a Mother could love!
Enjoy the Bank Holiday, and love to all xxxx
No - too true!!! We all have eyes in the back of our heads! Condolences about the footy. Glad all is well.
Ann, what fabulous photos! I’m amazed! Just made my morning!
Sorry about the football, Red! I didn’t find out the result until next morning, and only looked because of you!
Stepdau coming today, just her, not even the dog! We are gong out for lunch which should be good.
Rain, what’s that? I had about 5 mins worth yesterday! Blink and you had missed it.
Fine and sunny at the moment, just hoping it will stay like this.
Have a good day, everybody!
Glad you like them Spamar - the antics at the feeders is keeping me entertained for hours at the moment
Lucky you with the no rain - though today looks like being gorgeous here, thankfully.
Enjoy your lunch out xxxx
Gosh what fabulous photos, Ann!!! Thank you so much, you’ve made my day. I don’t know how you got the hovering wings, I can’t even get a plant in focus.
The smug expressions on the baby birds being fed! Remind you of any of our children???
Ann, thank you so much for the wonderful photos! It is a long time (probably a few years) since I sat and watched the antic of birds on a feeder.
Red, I am sorry that you, too, were disappointed by the footie result. As you can imagine, my OH wasn't thrilled. However, big thanks to @nitram, he was delighted that he could watch it from the comfort of his armchair.
It is bright, sunny and very warm here, with a 0 change of rain predicted. OH is out, playing bowls, but due back soon, don't know whether we will venture out as everywhere will be packed with tourists (good luck to them, our town would die without them!).
Alf came in yesterday and went straight up to say Hello to daddy. OH says that his (Alf's) coat was absolutely hot to touch - black cat had clearly been soaking up the rays
Not up to speed, will try and post later.
We didn't actually find out the football result until gone 11pm, we were in the garden BBQing and then came in to watch the cycling highlights. Plenty at work will be upset but more evertonians in office than Reds.
These photos are so cool. Thanks for sharing
Glad you all like the pics - watching and photographing the birds in the garden is one of my favourite pasttimes - I should make time to do it more often, because its a real stress buster! I posted some of those pics, plus a few more, onto a wildlife place that I am member of and much to my amazement, a journalist from a media company then contacted me, saying that they would like to write a piece around them and that they thought that they might be able to sell them, possibly to a National paper for the weekend editions! I've had a chat with them, been sent a bog standard 'contract' and am now dithering. Research tells me that they are a well established quite large company, been around for a long while - but it also suggests that a few photographers have had trouble getting payment from them. And - by contrast - some photographers have not only been paid promptly, but have had their images in everything from UK nationals to the front cover of Time magazine! Now - there is no way that my pics will do more than maybe make a couple of the bigger publications, and we are talking peanuts (even with a decent % split, we are talking just a few quid) - IF they sell at all, that is. And I am not sure if I should just go for it, just for the thrill of having photo's possibly published even in just one or two national publications, even if I never get paid. Or if I should write it off as probably too good to be true, and not bother. As I said - dithering here!
We had an really gorgeous day here yesterday, hot and mostly sunny. I spent the morning with my camera in the garden, and in the afternoon OH went off in his kayak, whilst I roamed the river banks photographing Beautiful Demoiselle's, a species of damselfly. Literally dozens and dozens of them flitting around, I've never seen so many in one place before.
This morning, I have a large pot of Mil's soup bubbling away already as OH is going to take some into Mil later, and I am looking forward to an admin day (not!). Again, went well over my hours last week, so am determined to only work shorter days this week to try and balance it out.
Hope you are all getting the same gorgeous weather as we are at the moment, and that you all have time and opportunity to enjoy it - much love to all xxxxx
Hi Ann @Ann Mac and heartiest congratulations! I am feeling so smug: I knew your photos were good! In fact I assumed you were a professional photographer, as well as everything else you do; and I didn’t like to ask because I felt everyone must already know this except for me (being a newcomer).
Now as you know TP is full of advice on every subject so I am going to unburden myself of my two penn’orth. You say you are dithering - so that’s my excuse to butt in. (Doesn’t take much!)
As a former arts worker I know all too well that the issue of payment can be a vexed one. Sometimes ok; sometimes not; always a hassle getting paid; payment always delayed by months at least. Years, more than once, in my case.
But that doesn’t matter much, in this instance - and no one has yet worked out a way around it.
What matters is the PHOTO CREDIT. Your name needs to be attached to any and all reproductions of your photos. Your contract may be bog standard but THIS IT MUST SAY. If you are in any doubt, get someone to look it over.
If it were me, the opportunity to be published and to begin to build a professional reputation as a photographer would make this offer you’ve received, one to be seized with both hands. Of course it’s a gamble, but risk is part of the deal.
OK I’ll stop now.
Love and excited hugs,
Your photos are lovely, no wonder there's been interest! About allowing them to be published - the way I look at it, what have you got to lose? You have already invested the time to take the photographs, and if you say no to publication, what will happen to them - will they just sit on the hard drive on your pc? It would be annoying not to get paid, but if you say no, that's the end of it (unless you have some other plan for the pictures?), but if you say yes, your photos could reach a bigger audience and hopefully earn enough to pay for something nice. Fingers crossed it all works out well for you.
I'm not surprised you were approached - they are superb photos.
Re the contract.. I'm not a lawyer but as said above, ensure you get the credit. But also, retain the copyright on your images - which effectively means you are granting the media company a licence to exploit the images on your behalf. This licence could be an exclusive one, or not, you decide! It could be for a fixed period of time.
And re the payment - as you've already done - check around to see that that percentage royalty they're offering you really is the 'norm'
Good luck with it all - you deserve it!