So bizarre !

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
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Ireland
Quick visit- Slugsta, I'm so mad on your behalf! How does this rather cavalier treatment of someone as vulnerable as your mum not count as downright abuse? If you"led" a witness in court like that - phrased questions so they'd give the answer you wanted, their testimony wouldn't be admissible. Should be the same with the SW asking your mum where she wanted to go when she was discharged- what the hell did she think anyone- never mind someone elderly and confused- would say? Where do we all long for when things are bad?! Does anyone EVER say" Well, I'd like to go to a good nursing home, please. Not too far away. With good staff. Where I will be safe and taken care of. "

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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I was waiting on the ward today as the nurses were dealing with Mum when I arrived. While I was there I heard several conversations about discharging people. It sounds as if the ward has a lot of dealings with people who do not feel their LOs are safe to discharge home. The attitude seems to be 'they have been declared medically fit and assessed by OT/physio/SW, so they are going home whether you like it or not'! I can understand that they are under a lot of pressure to get the beds emptied but there did not seem to be shred of compassion for the carers :(

Not a shred of compassion for the patients, either, when you think about it Slugsta - to know there are concerns about safety and to dismiss them in that manner is so wrong. Makes my blood boil :mad:

And its not just lacking in compassion - though that is bad enough. Its an approach that is totally lacking in common sense. To ignore the families concerns, to dismiss worries about safety, to discharge without ensuring that the correct support is there, must surely lead to so many failed discharges and occasions where the discharge is rapidly followed by a crisis, serious ilness/accident or similar? Which must cost more and worsen the issue of bed shortages? So short sighted, stupid - and so wasteful of the limited funds available in the long term. Its that sticking plaster approach that benefits no one - I just don't understand it :(

Good for you contacting PALs - fingers crossed that they are of some use - and yes, good idea to throw the BI meeting and request for the discharge policy at them when they raise the issue of discharge next. I am just so sorry, thinking of the stress and upset this must be causing you, Slugsta - you must be so exhausted, hun xxxx

Poor you Spamar - I really hope you are feeling better today. I do sympathise, because when you feel like you are 'up to it', it is all too easy to do too much, thinking that it wil be fine - thats what I did at the weekend :eek: I'm going to try and listen to the wise owls on here, and pace myself a bit more (where I can) and hopefully, you will now do the same xxxx

The major issue with work is that I've ended up working with so many college/university groups that everything has to be packed into academic term times. Which means that at the moment, I am totally flat out, and going way over my hours just can't be avoided. It will be a different story in term breaks - including the longer Summer break - when I will be able to take back a lot of hours. However, dealing with 'now' is proving to be hard, in terms of the impact on the old aches and pains leaving me too uncomfortable to enjoy the time I do have off. Its actually one of the things discused in my 1-1, on Monday, and - as always seems to be the case - my boss was really supportive, in fact SHE brought up the subject as she was concerned. I'm missing next months trip to S Wales, and she is getting IT to sort Skype on my laptop, so that at least some meetings can be done that way, saving me the travelling. She also told me to order a wheeled case of some sort, to carry things like the craft/art supplies, the heavy files, workbooks, paperwork and my laptop around in, (I often have to haul that lot when I am out on projects) and to get it out of my 'office equipment budget' - I hadn't even thought of something like that, but its a cracking idea and something I intend to sort today.

Yesterday was another long one - 2 back to back project sessions, morning and afternoon. Left the house at 8.30am, got home 4.30 pm, with an hours necessary admin both before leaving and when I got back. A fairly long drive there and back, coupled with hauling the gear round, on my feet all day and having to do the inevitable 'chase the paperwork' dance, which seems to be a feature of every project, and something my fellow coordinators also have big problems with on a regular basis! Lovely, lovely groups to work with, but the afternoon group were - well, lets say 'lively' - so very much on my toes with them, particularly as there should have been support workers there with a couple of the group, but they were unfortunately off sick, leaving me short handed. By the end of the day I had the worst headache that I can remember having in a very long time, and my back and neck were screaming at me. I did only what was necessary when I got home - and I was in bed, with hot water bottles for my back and pain killers for my head, by just before 9pm last night. Head a lot better this morning, but still achey back, hip and neck, so only doing what I absolutely have to today - which unfortunately includes monthly reports, expenses, booking some A/L (before I lose it), 3 or 4 other essential admin chores, and (having finally, after 5 weeks, got all the paperwork I need back from the college) inputting all that data into the system. Tomorrow, I've organised a trip out in the morning for one of my groups (which thankfully, leaves me with less driving as its closer than the college) followed by an (I hope) fairly brief meeting in the afternoon - and I'm hoping that IF I manage to plough through all the admin today, I will then be able to knock off work for the weekend, earlier than usual tomorrow afternoon. I'm also hoping to take a half day on Monday - again, if I sort the admin today!

Hope you all have a good day, love to all xxxx
 

Spamar

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Oct 5, 2013
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Suffolk
Morning,
I feel slightly better this morning, not planning anything today, except some ironing and going on with the latest jigsaw!
Ann, feel for you. I was going to say, cont do too much, but you have no control over That! But be careful!
Slugsta, words fail me. I think you are on the right lines, though, with discharge rules and Pals. Good luck!
Have a good day, everyone!
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,758
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South coast of England
Morning all,

Ann, I'm sorry that the job is having such a deleterious effect on your health :( I know you love what you do, but I do think you need to try putting some boundaries in place so that it is sustainable. You don't want to be forced to give it up in 6 months time because you are broken (((hugs))). It sounds as if your manager/supervisor is sensible and sensitive, the wheeled case/trolley sounds a very good idea, as do the Skype meetings.

How are things going at home regarding people taking a share of the routine chores? I know you have said that youngest is being rather 'difficult' (I'm being polite!) at the moment! Please try and do only what you feel you must - if dust actually killed anyone, I would have been in trouble long ago :eek:

Spamar, I do understand how tempting it is to get on and do things when you are feeling a bit more able. Please try to pace yourself, set an alarm if necessary, so that you don't pay for one better day with several of the other kind (((hugs)))

I am really worried that I am going to go in to the ward and find Mum sitting there, fully dressed and ready to go. And every time the phone rings, my heart rate shoots up :( No word from PALS yet.

I'm spending pretty much all of my 'spare' time in bed, although I did go to - and enjoy - choir yesterday evening. At least hubby has pretty much recovered from his 'man flu' and, I'm very glad to say, my sniffle seems to have gone without turning into anything worse :)

Sending you all lots of love xxx
 

jugglingmum

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Jan 5, 2014
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Chester
Slugsta - I don't know the way this works fully but would requesting a best interests meeting now force them to consider things properly.

I'm afraid from reading TP that the SWs often seem to take the answer of home at face value. It does seem normal practice that the LA insist on trying carers 4 times a day before considering a care home.

What is the opinion of where your mum lives? I think it is sheltered housing run either by the council or a housing association. Can they refuse to have her back or ask her to leave? From what you say she is causing some issues there, and where my mum is, in sheltered extra care, run by a housing association, it was made clear to me that wandering is unacceptable and she would have to leave. Have they had any input whilst she is in hospital? I'm probably clutching at straws, but this seems to be another method of putting pressure on the SWs.
 

Slugsta

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Aug 25, 2015
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South coast of England
Evening all,

Well, the good news is that Mum won't be considered for discharge for a day or two.

The bad news is that she has got a mild case of pneumonia! She was sent for a chest x-ray as she kept spiking a temperature and it shows a small area of pneumonia. She actually looks very well but has 'gone off her legs' and had to be hoisted back into bed this afternoon as she was unable to stand. And she kicked out at someone who had out their foot in front of hers to stop it from slipping.

I had a long talk with an OT - they do not have therapists or regular docs assigned to the ward as everyone there is supposed to be 'medically fit' and awaiting a care package - the attitude is that SS will be paying the bill, so they get absolute say as to where the patient/client goes.

I asked how Mum could have been taken into hospital as 'not safe' to be at home because of the falls, then supposedly be safe to return to the same situation. I might as well have talked to the wall!

I was also told that Mum will be asked where she wants to go, if she is deemed to have capacity to make that decision. If she does not have capacity she will still be asked and her 'wishes' gone along with if possible :rolleyes:

I have decided that I will start making enquiries about Mum self-funding respite care for 2 weeks while we are away, while still trying to put as much pressure on SS as possible. Mum's money would be gone after about 2 months in a CH but I think 2 weeks would be a worthwhile expenditure to give me peace of mind while we are abroad :(

PALS have forwarded my comments - but I don't know to whom!

I'm tired and grumpy. Heaven knows how you have all coped for so long!
 

HillyBilly

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Dec 21, 2015
1,946
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Ireland
Hi Slugsta - I read this thread but don't often post in it - only just catching up on what;s going on with you. Stand strong!
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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Morning all,

I'm so sorry to hear your Mum has pneumonia, Slugsta - though glad its mild. There is (I guess) a slight silver lining in that it will delay the discharge, though.

Evening all,


I had a long talk with an OT - they do not have therapists or regular docs assigned to the ward as everyone there is supposed to be 'medically fit' and awaiting a care package - the attitude is that SS will be paying the bill, so they get absolute say as to where the patient/client goes.

Er - 'absolute say'? And that means that they can ignore little insignificant details like 'duty of care' to ensure that whatever decision they make doesn't put a vulnerable adult at risk? This situation where different counties/L.A.s have the freedom to interpret rules exactly how they wish, in accordance with budget rather than in accordance with providing adequate care, is simply horrendous. It leaves the carers/family completely lost when it comes to being able to insist on what should be basic, across-the-board standards and considerations. I can well imagine just how exhausted and fed up you must be - like most carers, been there so many times myself - as you say, its like banging your head on a brick wall, trying to get them to see the bigger picture and actually listen. If they are saying that this 'fall alarm' is part of the 'package' that will ensure she is 'safe' to return to the flat, then I honestly think you have to refuse point blank to have any part of it. I know that it is incredibly hard to stand there and refuse to 'help' - but in essence, that is just what SS are doing - trying to pas the responsibility to you. Pass it right back, hun - for your sake and your Mum's xxxx

If all else fails and they do manage to get your Mum back to the flat - and believe me, I know how they can corner you and wear you down to get what they want - they I think the privately paid for respite is a really good idea (though I hope it doesn't come to you having to arrange that) - you ned to be able to go and enjoy your your break without being worried sick about our Mum the whole time you are away xxxx

The admin took flipping hours yesterday - gone 6 by the time I stopped (I'll say stopped, not finsihed, because I still have a couple of things to do!). Its infuriating that had I not had to chase the paperwork from the various groups before I finally got my hands on it, a lot of the work I had to do yesterday could have been spread out over the previous few weeks, rather than time forcing me to have to do it all yesterday. It wasn't helped by me having to take an unscheduled break to go and collect youngest from school - apparently the school bus that she and other students use, decided to leave 'early' - leaving dau and about a dozen other kids stranded :mad:

As for help around the house, Slugsta - er, better than it was, I guess, from OH at least, though I do feel the bulk is left for me still - and between work and chiro sessions, I am not keeping on top of it, so its as you say - good job dust doesn't kill anyone :eek: I keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean, try and keep the front room comfy - but thats about it. I can't say its easy to ignore the ironing pile, or the fact that I haven't mopped the floors for 3 days straight - in fact, it stresses me out - but, thats the way it is at the moment. Friday mornings, I try and get stuck in - before the chiro puts me out of action - but after that, I try and resist temptation, because I just have to be sensible and follow orders - or I what I'm spending on this treatment would just be a waste :( OH is trying but admits that because his shifts don't follow any set pattern, he is struggling - and to be fair, I understand that. He might do 3 back to back shifts one week, he might do them alternate days the next. He might get a 2 day weekend off, or 3 or 4 - or he might occasonally have to do a weekend shift. No rhyme or reason or pattern, so really hard to adjust sleep patterns and try to be awake to spend time with the family even just a couple of times a week. He often struggles to sleep during the day, so is permanently shattered. He hasn't even been to see his Mum for over a week - which isn't like him at all, but he is completely at sea after having to switch to days whilst he completed his training updates. Its not good - and even he is saying that continuing on nights - especially with such erratic shifts - isn't going to be sustainable long term :( Dau has fits where she is really good about makiing sure that I don't lift or bend - but generally, its the typical teen way of life where 'stuff' - everything from headphones and socks to crisp packets and empty glasses - is just left where she happens to put it down. I swear somedays you can just follow the trail around the house to know where she has been :rolleyes:

This morning, trip out with one of my groups, followed by a (hopefully) short meeting (that I forgot about till I checked my diary last night), followed by the bare essentials of any admin I have to do. I doubt I will finish early - but at least there is a chance I will finish on time! I would like to pop in and see Mil if I can squeeze it in - I haven't been for 5 days either :(

Hope you all have a good day xxxx
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
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South coast
Wow, Ann - you mean you mop the floors every day (or, at least. try to)??
My floors get mopped once a week when my cleaner does them. And if shes ill, or on holiday they get left for a fortnight or more. Fortunately no one has gone down with typhoid.........

I think you are doing an amazing job. MIL will be fine. Be gentle with yourself and dont burn out.
xx
 

RedLou

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Jul 30, 2014
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I'm in the Canary school of house work. I do my own but only on a slut's regime. I make OH mop the floors once a week. Or hoover. I do the other stuff. Then the next week I hoover because he has man-clean syndrome. Where he fails to see fluff behind chairs. Same as man-washing-up syndrome. Where there's always one pot left unwashed.:(
So basically, Ann, next time you feel an urge to clean when you don't have time, just tell yourself you're joining the RedLou Slut's Club for the week. You can revert to your impeccable standards when you're better. :p

Slugsta - been following your news and send bags of best wishes.
 

Amy in the US

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Feb 28, 2015
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With luck, our floor gets hoovered once a week.

If I told you the last time I mopped, I wouldn't even qualify for RedLou's standards. Her club won't have me. It'll have to be one with much lower standards.
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,758
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South coast of England
Afternoon all,

Amy, I think you and I might be in the same club! My kitchen floor gets mopped once a week by my cleaner, she vacs the carpets too. If she has a week or two off, so do the floors :eek:

How are you anyway? We haven't seen/heard much of you recently, I do hope you are OK. Have you managed to organise your travel for the gig?

Ann, I know you have Busta who probably adds to the need for cleaning but I was also amazed at the thought of you mopping daily! :eek: Please give yourself a break (((huggs)))

It seems to me that delayed paperwork takes up a disproportionate amount of your time :mad: I'm sure this can't be something unique to you and your client group. How do other people deal with this problem? If no-one has found a solution, I think this needs to be fed back to managers so that a united approach can be formulated. It's ridiculous that you are having to spend so long chasing up people who are going to benefit from your services! I understand that people are busy with their own work and possibly feel that sorting out the paperwork for you is not a priority - but something needs to change so that they realise how important it is. As it is, I guess they rely on the fact that you won't make the clients suffer by refusing to work with them :mad:

I'm not able to get across to see Mum today, which is making me feel very guilty :eek: To make matters worse, I phoned the ward to ask how she is and was told they are finding her a place on a medical ward so that she can have IV antibiotics :( I don't know how long and how much this is going to put her back, we seem to just limp along from one day to another, waiting for the discharge axe to fall!

On a happier note, I have been doing a couple of things to prepare for our holiday (do you note my refusal to even consider that we might not be able to go? :eek: ), such as arranging to get my new evening dress taken up. I got it (new) from Ebay for a very reasonable price, made in China, but it is costing me more than that to get the alteration done!

Am hoping that the people who are quiet are happy and busy living their lives, rather than that there are problems.
 

jugglingmum

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Jan 5, 2014
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Chester
With luck, our floor gets hoovered once a week.

If I told you the last time I mopped, I wouldn't even qualify for RedLou's standards. Her club won't have me. It'll have to be one with much lower standards.

Our hoovering is definitely in that category. When we had a cleaner it was once a week. For various reasons she went and I refuse point blank to hoover, so OH does it sporadically (in theory on Monday evening).

I do mop the kitchen/hall about once a week, slightly more often if the dog has trailed mud and do the bathrooms once a week.

Dusting...... what's that? Sometimes.

I think Dau needs to understand she can't leave her stuff where it falls. Maybe putting it in a box somewhere, crisp packets and headphones muddled up, in somewhere a bit out of the way (cupboard under the stairs?) will get the message across to her.

Slugsta, not sure how long to your holiday but at this rate your mum is likely to still be in hospital when you go (I'm thinking this is a good thing). When my mum had pneumonia she was on IV antibiotics for a couple of days, and discharged on day 6 if that is of any help. It may be that this was lurking and causing the falls, you'll never know, but takes a while to develop I think.
 

Amy in the US

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Feb 28, 2015
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Slugsta, I am sorry to hear about your mum having pneumonia, needing the IV antibiotics, and being moved to a medical ward. It's okay if you can't get there today, try not to be too hard on yourself.

I notice and am impressed by your determination that your holiday shall happen! Good for you. I know you need the break and the change of scene. And an evening dress, no less! Remind me again about your itinerary, when you get a chance, please (a cruise? I cannot recall, apologies).

Slugsta, thank you for asking about our trip. The travel plans are starting to come together (slow progress, but progress nonetheless). I still feel nervous, as if it isn't quite real, and that somehow if I talk about it, it will jinx the trip.

Ridiculous? Yes. Am I aware this is ridiculous? Absolutely. Are my emotions listening to my head? Nope, not a jot.

I wish I had a solution, or even a practical suggestion, for stroppy, messy teenagers. I haven't children of my own, but do have plenty of nieces and nephews, honorary and otherwise, and really don't know how you all manage to live through the teenage years. They behave nicely for their auntie, but not so much for their parents, plus I get all the dirt from both angles, and it's not pretty. Hormones and drama and oh, the injustice of the world!!!! It must be exhausting. All I can offer is support and a sympathetic ear.

The clear solution to Ann's floor situation is to have youngest Miss Mac clean the floors, instead of Ann, but I fear this suggestion might not be well received by the daughter in question!

I also agree that the paperwork/admin part of your job, Ann, often sounds thoroughly frustrating. I hope there is some way, for that to change. It's clear how much you enjoy the other bits of the position. I would expect a certain amount of annoyance with a new position, and getting started and setting up and learning the ropes, and of course the inevitable IT issues, but it seems like this is...excessive, perhaps?

And also, Ann, same goes for you as for Slugsta: if you don't get over to see MIL, please try not to be too hard on yourself.

Hope you're all okay!
 

Amy in the US

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Feb 28, 2015
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USA
I am sorry to tell you, but my mother fell today and fractured her patella. We had a long afternoon and evening in A&E. She is back at the nursing home and I am waiting to hear about an ortho consult appointment; the lovely head nurse on her ward at her nursing home is working hard to make this happen as soon as possible, maybe even tomorrow (Friday). Don't ask me why that didn't happen at the hospital, but it didn't.

The ER, sorry, A&E doctor said surgery will be needed; my trauma surgeon friend said likely surgery will be needed but in some cases (ie elderly and Alzheimer's) it can sometimes be avoided. I saw the films and the break is clear with an 8.5 mm gap between the pieces of the kneecap.

She is in a lot of pain. They put her leg in a stabilizer brace thing. She can't remember she broke her knee, or why it hurts. She was given appropriate pain meds, thank goodness. About 10 minutes after she was taken back to the nursing home and put in bed, she managed to somehow get the brace off and sit on the edge of the bed. I think the staff will have a LONG night. They don't have enough staff for one-to-one. I mentioned to my husband that maybe I should stay with her, and he said, NO. So here I am at home.

I will wait to hear what the orthopedist says but feel distressed, in advance, at possibly having to authorize surgery and a general anesthesia for my mother, when I know that is likely to be detrimental.

Sorry to unload on you and thanks for listening and more when I know,

thank you,

amy

Editing to add: I know it could have been worse; she could have fractured her pelvis or hip or leg. One of the staff broke her fall as best he could, or she would have broken her wrist and hit her head on the pavement.

Everyone at hospital was fabulous EXCEPT the social worker, who was rubbish and tried to have a conversation with my mother. That didn't go well. But everyone else was fabulous and kind and very understanding about the dementia.

And the nursing home took her back, which I didn't expect, as they're not really staffed or equipped. They don't do rehab or skilled nursing, officially, but I found out tonight that they do as much as they can, for current residents.

So why do I feel so terrible when it all went as well as possible?

I don't even know how I'll get her to a doctor's appointment. She can't weight bear on her left leg at all. I guess maybe medical transport?

So sorry to dither at you. I must go get some sleep. Thanks.
 
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RedLou

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Jul 30, 2014
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Oh Amy, so sorry to hear your news.

It may be a matter of having to choose the least bad option, and clearly, if that knee needs pinning together it can't be left. You mustn't feel bad. There is nothing you can do to make her life normal or what we would think as 'tolerably nice' again. Dementia will invade it. You have been incredible, continue to be incredible, are incredible.

Take a word of warning from me. Even the amount I did for my father, and that is as nothing compared to what I see others on here doing, has affected my health long-term. Maybe not dramatically so - I have avoided going to get my blood pressure rechecked (just before he died it was 'rather high' according my GP whereas before it had always been enviably low) so I don't know if that's recovered or not. Try very hard to listen to your OH when he sees you need pulling back. Don't get so stressed you affect your own health, sweetie.

& Slugsta - this kind of goes for you, too. Take that holiday!!
 

jugglingmum

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Jan 5, 2014
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Chester
Amy - if the staff said they would cope, they will do - don't stay with her, you know you find it hard being with her on your own a lot of the time.

I'm busy and not managing to write an update on me, full of cold and stuff
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Hi, had a busy day yesterday ( for me) and I'm out for lunch again today.
Plus iPad / TP has been problematical over the last couple of days.
JM, sorry about your cold, hope, but don't expect, you to be better soon. I went to singing yesterday and found my voice hasn't recovered as much as I thought!
Ann, something has got to give. Either stop taking the dogs on muddy walks or leave the floor! Glad the job is going well, but your clients certainly need to pull their socks up!
Amy and Slugsta,hope things start sorting themselves out.

I'm OK, not brimming full of get up and go like last weekend, but OK. My tiredness from gardening, and it was nothing energetic, I promise, took 24 hours to go!
I thought I felt a twinge in another tooth earlier this morning! I'm telling myself that, with the extra space, teeth are moving around a bit! Definitely hoping its serious! Next dental appt is in 5 weeks, which is my normal check up date.
Have a good day, folks!
 
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Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,758
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South coast of England
Morning all,

Oh Amy! Just when things seemed to have calmed down a bit, this happens :( I am glad you decided not to stay with your mum overnight, it sounds as if the care at the home is excellent - and I always found it much easier to be patient with someone when I wasn't related to them (sounds wrong, I know, but I think I don't have expectations of how other people ought to behave like I do my own kin).

I completely understand why you don't want surgery and anaesthesia for your mum, but it might be that there is little choice. I hope you manage to get the orthopaedic consult soon (like you, I cannot understand why that was not done in hospital! :confused: ).

Please look after yourself, that includes eating well, resting and taking some time out to do what you enjoy. That will help you keep going rather than burning out (((hugs))).

JM, sorry to hear that you have the lurgy :( Please look after yourself too.

Spamar, I have everything crossed that you do not have another toothache brewing!

Ann, I am hoping that you have managed to get the admin finished so that you can forget about work for the weekend. I am guessing you are having/have had another chiro treatment today? If so, please rest as much as you can and ignore the state of the kitchen floor!
 

jugglingmum

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Jan 5, 2014
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Chester
Amy - as Lady A has said on another thread if she does need op can a general anaesthetic be avoided. My MIL had a knee replacement in Dec 2015 with an epidural (aged 88) as she has heart issues. Don't think I actually wrote how sorry I am to read this in my first post, not good at putting that in!

Slugsta - as Red says I do hope you go ahead full steam with holiday, you deserve and need it, and the worst that is likely to happen with your mum is it might force a mini crisis if your mum is back in her flat by then if nothing else.

Ann - I did mean to say before how odd dementia is, such a nice visit with MIL when you painted her nails but such an awful visit the time before.

Well mini update on me: I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with life recently, and so went to see GP last Thursday. She didn't know my job and put her head in her hands when I told her. She said she could refer me for counselling but thought the main problem I was trying to juggle too many balls in the air (I was sat thinking as she said this of my name here and you'd all laugh at her knowing me well enough) and trying to fit in counselling as may well make things worse not better. And the next bit Amy will like (using what I think is an American expression - may well feel validated) and she suggested I read Steve Peters book - the Chimp Paradox. She commented that I may not be surprised to know he is god in her house (her OH is a cyclist - who on a google coaches some of the top local cyclists who we know so we move in same circles). She described me as a classic female high achiever trying to fit in too much and in reality things aren't going to go away easily. Not much help in total at face value but oddly has made me feel alot more positive. I've bought the book but not started reading it yet.

Dau decided to try and take on a free paper round, and first one was meant to be this week and she is full of cold. OH didn't want her to do it but I said yes as I thought she would just keep mithering otherwise, although I did expect it to fail fairly quickly! In reality she isn't well fully yet and so not a hope. OH has done half of it last night and I will do the rest later. He has told her to cancel it but offered to pay her in stages for doing the cleaning so may get a result from my point of view. (I did discuss with him again getting a cleaner after seeing GP but he is adamant just doesn't work for us - I am inclined to agree - we ran around tidying up on an evening that didn't suit so floors were clear for hoovering and mopping and it made me exhausted on that night not to recover fully).

I am still not getting my head around our or mum's paperwork and need to get myself going so some good TP vibes on that please.

Really really annoyed about cold as can't cycle again, will lose too much fitness and not be able to ride with group I normally do for weeks now.