1. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Hello everyone,

    Ann, I'm glad that your nerves about the new job are turning to excitement :) I hope these people turn out to be as nice - or even nicer - than they seem. If so, you will fit in well.

    I do hope the school meeting is fruitful and that things change enough for your daughter to be able to enjoy and benefit from her final year. My friend is a school governor and they (school in general, HoD, head, SENCo and my friend) are all bending over backwards to try and resolve an issue with one particular student. When I compare it to what you have said about your situation, they are in a different universe!

    I do hope that your gentle comment brings about an improvement in MIL's clothes situation. Apart from the money and extra work, the cost of all the things you have had to replace over the past few years must really add up :(

    JM, I do hope that your weather is better than ours, otherwise a tent sleepover will be a trifle damp! It rained a lot yesterday and also on and off today. I have been determined to hang on to my summer clothes for as long as possible. However, barring an Indian Summer, I think the time has come for me to accept the inevitable.

    Amy, I do hope you are enjoying your holiday in the way that pleases you. It's high time you and OH had a bit of time to enjoy yourselves.

    OH has mentioned Christmas several times already :eek: I don't think we can make any arrangements just yet though. I wouldn't want to go away but, other than that, I simply don't know how Mum will be in 3+ months time! Last year she came here for a couple of hours over the lunchtime and son was here for several days. I can't see that anything will have changed that much for Mum, it will just be a case of what son wants to do and whether any out-laws want to join us (eldest SIL and her hubby came for lunch last year).

    I'm currently on our bed. Sky is alongside me and Alf is at the bottom :)
     
  2. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Good morning/afternoon, everyone.

    Hope everyone with the allergies is feeling better. The autumn ones have started here, as well, and although we are having lovely weather at the moment (cool at night, not too hot during the day, sunshine and clear blue skies) it's feeling more like autumn is right around the corner. My DH steadfastly maintains he doesn't have allergies, and won't take any medication, but has been sneezing and rubbing his eyes a lot. I am grateful for over-the-counter antihistamines!

    Grace, if you're out there, we are thinking of you and hoping all is well and sending you very good wishes. Please look after yourself.

    Ann, you do have a lot going on with going-back-to-school, and uni, and work! I send all of you, who have to do the back-to-school shopping, very good wishes and my sympathy. DH and I don't have kids but I've done that sort of shopping with nieces and nephews (honourary and related) several times and no, it's not easy (whether it's uniforms or just "regular" clothing). Teenage hormones don't make it any easier!

    In addition to clothing, here in the States most schools have a list of other supplies needed for the year (pens, rulers, fancy calculators for higher level maths, notebooks, binders, it goes on) so there's always one more thing to buy, it seems.

    Ann, hope that school meeting on Thursday goes as well as possible. I'm sorry your daughter feels unhappy about the school, but of course I can understand why.

    You just can't get a break on the laundry situation, it seems. I wonder what sort of containment solution we can think of, for it to not smell up your car on the way home. That can't possibly make your visits any more enjoyable. Sorry to hear MIL was suffering again from the gangster/gunmen delusion. As you say, better to just be upset than full-blown anxiety, but it must be unimaginably upsetting and I wish there were something that could be done.

    JugglingMum, yes, it's a holiday weekend here in the States. It's Labor Day on Monday, so everyone has off from work and school Monday (it is a national holiday), giving us a three-day weekend. It's sort of the traditional "end" to summer, as Memorial Day weekend in May is the "start." Once upon a time not too long ago, most schools all over the States didn't start until the Tuesday after Labor Day, and even though many now return in August, it still feels to many people as though it were the end-of-summer, back-to-school holiday.

    It's meant to honor the labor movement but has morphed into a long weekend filled with barbeques, home improvement work (not sure why we do that to ourselves over a "holiday" weekend, but we do!), and for some, family gatherings. If you live in an area where the weather gets cooler sooner, and you have a boat, this might be the weekend where you take it out of the water and get it ready for winter. Or if you have a cabin or camp (a holiday cottage) you might invite all the family there for a family get-together, grilling out (a barbeque, but we mostly say "grilling" or "cooking out") and a good clean and whatever winterizing needs to be done.

    Normally my husband and I, and my cousin and his wife (who live in the same city as we do) would head to the city where my cousins and I grew up, and where my aunt and uncle still live, and we'd stay with them and cook burgers and brats on the grill and help with some yard work and so forth. This year, my aunt and uncle are having a bathroom remodeled and don't want houseguests, so my cousin is hosting and they will come here. My other cousin is coming in from out of town today and we will all get together tomorrow. We are bringing the dessert, which might be trifle as the cakes keep falling!

    JM, you are kind to ask about family and "the holidays," as we say in the States. We do have our plans for Thanksgiving (end of November) sorted as a kind and understanding friend called this week and invited us to go to them. We don't see enough of these friends (they are at some distance, an airplane flight or a 12-hour drive) and as this particularly appealed to my husband, we accepted with pleasure. We will have to figure something out for Christmas, but when my husband's family calls and importunes us, last-minute, to go to them for Thanksgiving, we will already have other plans. (This has happened three out of the last four years. They do not plan well. One year we drove a turkey the four hundred miles to his parents' house. Never again!)

    I have spent most of my adult life negotiating various holidays and generally traveling to make other people and various sides of the family happy. It does get tiresome. I shall be very happy to be with close friends for Thanksgiving, and allowed to help plan the menu and cook it!

    Enough about that, I am not finished responding to people, but have to go. DH and I are headed to my mother's care home, to measure her new room and, if we can manage whilst she is at lunch, to measure her current furniture so DH can figure out what will fit. I did have a meeting yesterday and saw the memory care unit and met some staff and all that. Miss T's family is agreeable to the nurse manager's plan (which will be like a military operation; I will tell you more later) and we will move them into rooms next door to each other, at the same time, while they are safely on an outing. Also my cousin from out-of-town arrives late this afternoon and he will stay with us, so I need to find some clean sheets and towels and tidy things up a bit.

    Hope you're all well, and more later, and best wishes to you all.
     
  3. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,913
    Suffolk
    Gosh, you have a busy life! I do very little now, but it takes me so long to do anything, that's probably just as well!
    I know I'm an ignoramus, but what are 'brats'? In this country, they're naughty children! Which conjures up an interesting thought!
    Have a good time, one and all.
    Grace, ((((hugs)))), hope things are going well!
     
  4. angelface

    angelface Registered User

    Oct 8, 2011
    1,086
    london
    Probably bratwurst,or sausages?

    Lets see if Amy will say if I'm right ?
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Oh, rats, that was vague. Yes, brat with a long a sound is shorthand for bratwurst, you are correct. Brat with a short a sound is a rotten, unruly, spoiled child.
     
  6. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,913
    Suffolk
    Well done angelface! Thanks Amy. Thanks for the increase in my language skills!
     
  7. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Hi everyone :)

    I have to ask - is anyone else having problems logging on to TP early in the mornings? For the last couple of weeks, I've had several days where it just loads and loads and eventually I get the 'connection timed out' message - I've only just got on after nearly 2 hours of trying, today. No issues with any other sites I use, so I don't think its a problem with my pc or my internet connection :confused:

    Youngest back to school tomorrow, JM - I think most of the schools return then, round here. We ended up in Birkenhead shopping yesterday, and I did hear one youngster there reminding his Dad that they weren't back to school till Tuesday, though. The holidays seem to have really flown this year. I feel for you with the shoes and your son - my son also went through a rapid growth spurt like that - from a size 6 to a size 10 in just over one school year! Thankfully, his feet at least stopped growing after that! Jumpers, sports kit , blazers and tie can be only be obtained from the school at dau's school, and to be fair, when I need to replace anything from there, she brings home an order slip, I fill it in, send the money - and she usually brings the item(s) home the same day. She had new school jumpers at the very end of last year, she doesn't need anything else from the school for this year, her shoes were sorted, so it was just the usual stock up on undies and socks, plus the new blouses and the trousers - the trousers are the headache - she is 5' 7", but only a size 6. The 14 - 15 age range is often too short in the length - but way too wide on the hips and waist. We have actually discovered that often, boys trousers are a better fit on her! That turned out to be the case yesterday - and they don't look odd, so though I will keep searching for girls trousers to fit her, at least she has something that fits well for school tomorrow. Last years school trousers are barely worn, but she has shot up, so the hems were flapping round her ankles !

    I suspect that its going to be another fob off at the school - which is why I have stipulated (in an email) that I will only attend on the understanding that they won't be able to turn round and say that my going there means that the progression of the complaint with the LEA will be stopped or otherwise affected.

    You could also well be right about them wanting to push through 'with the new' at the meeting at the hospital - I just felt the very dismissive attitude and responses to anything I said were really rude. And that a little more by way of explanation, for things like how the changes made by this 'Dr A' were completely overlooked for so darn long, wouldn't have gone amiss. However, I don't see the point (and as said, I don't have the energy) to rake it all up and demand those explanations at this point - the priority is, as you say, to move forward, for Mils sake x

    It sounds as though Skye and Alfie are co-habiting nicely now for you Slugsta :D I'd quite like a kitty again - but both my dogs seem to suffer from O.C.D (Obsessive Cat Disorder!) - think the younger boy learn't it off my old fellow, who has hated cats with a passion since we had him, sadly :( He has never hurt one (and I don't think he would) - but boy - does he 'shout' when he see's one!

    Yep - I think I have fallen on my feet with this job - the actual work really appeals to me, its going to be varied and interesting. To have my new 'employers' seeming to be so considerate and so on the ball is (in this day and age) a heck of a bonus. The latest has been an email confirming my train tickets to South Wales and the hotel booking. With the added information that the hotel has a luxury health suite, spa and pool, access to them all included in my booking and the advice that I should try them out and 'enjoy' whilst I am there! Not sure that there will be time - but how nice is that! I looked up the hotel hotel (as, of course, you do) - OH spotted the images and is a bit miffed that he won't be coming with me :D

    Christmas is going to be different this year here, that's for sure! Its been hard work with Mil, I know, over the last 3 or 4 years, but for the last 26 years, she has spent all but 2 Christmasses with us, she's a big part of our Christmas, and despite the hard work it is going to be very strange not having her here for the pressie opening and the rest. There is no getting away from the fact that she can no longer cope with usual family excitement, that to have her here would upset her and cause stress all round - so I'm just going to have to suck that one up. I had also thought that oldest would want to spend Christmas with her partner, now that they have their 'own' place - was dreading it, but could completely understand it, so was prepared to suck that one up too. But when I made tentative enquiries, she was scandalised at the thought of not coming home - she has it planned out! She'll be home for a few days over Christmas day, her partner will go to his parents - then the two of them will spend New Year together, combining it with their own 'mini' Christmas, including a Christmas dinner and presents! So - bonus :D

    Bank Holidays seem to be a time for DIY here too, Amy! Like you, I have no idea why - but the DIY stores are generally heaving with people on a Bank Holiday Monday. Your plans for this holiday weekend and Thanksgiving sound busy - but fun, and (more importantly) just what you and your OH want to do. I hope you enjoy both - and that Christmas can be sorted for you with no stress at all!

    Dau had a long list of stationary to get as well - however, she actually has a real 'thing' about nice stationary, and I've been able to let her just go off and sort herself, safe in the knowledge that she won't miss a thing that she needs. In fact, she probably has far more than she needs, she loves 'nice' notebooks and has also bought and filled 4 pencil cases, which she has organised precisely into 'colours and art stuff', 'Maths', 'general pens, pencils, ruler, erasers' and 'other' - other being tipex, spare staples, post its and the like! She was even eager to go out and buy and organise stationary that she thought I might need for this induction - I politely declined, because heaven only knows how much stuff she would have considered 'essential' and I would have ended up with half my little case filled with her choices!

    I am so glad that Miss T's family are in agreement about the move to the memory unit - I'm sure that will make it a much less stressful experience than it might otherwise have been for both ladies, as well as for you and Miss T's family. Fingers crossed that it all goes really well - is it going to be soon?

    Well guessed on the bratwurst, Angelface - like Spamar, I was wondering :D

    As I said, we ended up in Birkenhead yesterday. Not only to get the uniform sorted, but also to find a coat for me. I think I've said before that I hate clothes shopping - with a passion - and I am so uninterested in fashion as for it to be a family joke. In uni and for the 3 years since, I've settled into a nice comfortable rut of jeans, leggings, long length tops and the odd maxi dress for weddings and the like. OH did force me out to buy some smart-casual clothes when I started to apply for jobs - and there was of course the stress filled (for me) shopping trip for an interview outfit. But, what I haven't found is a coat that I either like or feel comfortable in! It needs to be long enough to cover the longer length tops I prefer, it needs to go with everything from jeans & trainers (when I said this job is varied, I meant it - I could find myself involved in projects where jeans would be very apt) to smart trousers, and from leggings to long skirts. Waterproof would be a bonus - I'll be out and about an awful lot, and I do live in Wales - and obviously, reasonably smart. I thought about a long length mac type coat - can I find one? - can I heck! So today, as well as a supermarket shop, coat shopping is once again on the agenda - YUCK!

    If I have a successful (and please - let it be brief) shopping excursion, the plan is to visit Mil on the way home. I have to go to the hospital again on Tuesday for physio, so as I'll combine that with another 'Mil visit', I won't be going tomorrow as well.

    Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend - Grace, thinking of you xxxx
     
  8. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    647
    NW UK
    Hello everyone, I'm back ... on TP.

    Finally got my new knee :)
    I only was in hospital 4/5 days, and they pushed me out before the Bank Holiday Weekend.
    I've been home a week or so, and feel good. Pain is slowly easing.
    Sleeping is proving difficult, I cannot get comfy, keep waking myself up, tangled in sheets.
    Tried putting pillows in the bed to lift duvet/ sheets ... but still waking up every hour or so.

    My Sister stayed several days, which I was soooo pleased, but I've been home alone since.

    Physio (assessment) is coming to visit tomorrow, I think they give me 1 hour time slot.
    Not sure (funding?) how many visits they will allow. Depends on my recovery.

    Not been outside (alone) for a walk, its been raining a lot here, but my flat is huge, so I can get a lot of exercise/ walking practice inside.
    Hall is > 30' , just walking to and from the front door several times , is a good start.

    Our lovely gardener has power washed all the paths and steps around the garden/ grounds.
    He usually does this 2 x year, but said they were getting a little slippy, so did them early for me.

    Soooo.... after a long wait, its over. I just need to recover.
    Thank you all for your kind thoughts. xxxx
    I though about posting last week, but gave myself a week longer so I could rest.


    Wow.... I have a lot to catch up on with you all. I've been thinking of you too.

    I'll give you all a MiL, and family update in a few days time ...:eek:

    Take care everyone xxx
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,855
    Female
    South coast
    "have to ask - is anyone else having problems logging on to TP early in the mornings? For the last couple of weeks, I've had several days where it just loads and loads and eventually I get the 'connection timed out' message - I've only just got on after nearly 2 hours of trying, today. No issues with any other sites I use, so I don't think its a problem with my pc or my internet connection "

    Yup - me too.

    You are sounding much brighter and positive again Ann, I do hope you are feeling that way too. Im sure I would make time to sample the hotels facilities :D

    Glad your op went well Grace - I have been thinking about you - as has everyone else too. I think the standard block of physio sessions is 6, but check on this.
     
  10. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,021
    Female
    Chester
    Just shouted 'yay' out loud when I read your update Grace :D:D:D:D

    Ann - not many people who don't live in Birkenhead shop there through choice, or even admit going there! I lived for 5 years in an old terrace in just about walking distance of the shops up on the hill. I certainly don't miss the kids in nappies playing out in the street at 10am, the never ending police helicopters flying over at 2am on yet another car chase, and the crumbling fabric of the house. It was in one of the better areas of Birkenhead though so did have some really nice hard working neighbours as well. The market, which I've had to go to a couple of times recently is fantastic though. There is a uniform shop in the market which does daus' uniform as well as the school. Son's uniform official bits are from a stall in Birkenhead market, I managed to get his shirts and trousers from Sainsbury's.

    Don't all girls love stationery , dau likes to get hers from paperchase. Son was quite happy I had got him what he needed.

    I have terrible issues with clothes sizes for dau, she is a 4 to 6 on top half, and an 8 on trousers. The 8 mainly being due to her thigh size with cycling, her waist is definitely a 4. School skirts are all the same length, and so go on waist size, with the inevitable rolling up of the waistband. Trousers are not permitted, so the muslim girls wear leggings underneath.

    Amy - glad room move is going ahead, I think from reading TP that moves at each stage are always easier if progressed sooner rather than later, I hope I get my mum's move from sheltered extra care to care home timing right. Although if she doesn't start wandering they have stated to me, the care manager and the carers, that they will do everything in their power to keep her there as long as possible, as she is a character (old East End type) funny, and cheeky and they really like her. I think that she will be better company wise to move to a care home earlier but the cost of course will be a lot more.

    Edited to add - no problems logging on early but then I'm a night owl, not an early bird.
     
  11. dottyd

    dottyd Registered User

    Jan 22, 2011
    1,066
    n.e.
    Can sympathise with you grace. Had an almost wisdom tooth out and the pain has been excruciating. That was Thursday and I'm still having trouble sleeping.
    I'm sporting a massive bruise on my jaw and neck.
    Thought of you Ann when you had that injection and mil was in hospital.

    Nursing home had a problem with mum on Thursday and just couldn't go to her because of the state I was in.
    Saw her Friday and going tomorrow.

    It's so hard when the carer has health problems and I'm hardly a carer but my gawd it's knocked me for six.
    I think I had 6 needles full and three attempts to get it out.
     
  12. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Morning all,

    Yay, Grace - so pleased you've had the op at last and are making a good recovery, by the sound of it :) I hope that Mi's family are leaving you in peace at the moment, and that it won't be long until you are feeling 100%, and able to start thinking about moving closer to your sister xxxxx

    At least I know now its not just me, or an issue with my pc, Canary - though this morning, logged straight on with no problems. I wonder what's causing it though? Yes - I think I am starting to buck up now - not sure if its the tablets or the focus on the new job or just that I've cut down on visiting Mil, which has somehow made me feel less pressured. I get odd times during the day when I seem to 'fold' - suddenly so tired and feel 'bleurgh' - and still not sleeping brilliantly, but I'm not brooding and going over and over and worrying about things 24/7 now xxx

    JM, I haven't been to Birkenhead for years and years and years, up till Saturday and I really liked it. I loved the market, a 'proper' old fashioned indoor market, similar to what we used to have in the town here, before the recession more or less killed it off. Don't like shopping, but a place like that, filled with such a mix of small stalls, I love to wander round. I wished I'd taken my camera too, because although I'm useless at street photography (not bold enough to shamelessly take pictures of people without feeling self concious), I saw so many little scenarios I would have loved to capture - the little tot who slipped Mum's hand and managed to run and jump in a rather deep puddle - the look of joy on her face, and the look of horror on her Mums was priceless :D And there were two ladies, in their 70's maybe, actually wearing head scarf's - I haven't seen them worn in years - and they were arm in arm, laughing and chatting 19 to the dozen. They looked such a pair of characters, as though they would be a really good laugh to know - would have really liked to have photographed them. I did look at a stall selling uniforms there - but as I said, no joy with trousers for youngest.

    I think making the call for the time for a care home, or for more supported living, is so hard. Its basically acknowledging that the disease is getting worse, and even knowing that its the right decision, its so flipping sad :(

    Ouch Dotty! That sounds extremely painful - I really hope that it eases for you very soon. And yep, so hard when you're carer and you are unwell. I think the time that sticks out for me as one of the 'darkest' times of Mil being here was early on this year when I had a really bad chest/throat infection - and initially I just couldn't get respite for her. I really didn't know how I was going to cope, I felt so ill. Since she has been in hospital, I've had a couple of very minor colds, and I've felt guilty not visiting then, too. Never mind after that awful injection when I was in so much pain, couldn't weight bear - and they wanted to discharge her anyway!

    I had a brain waggle yesterday and gave my good friend 'H' a call, and asked her to come looking for coats with me. Unlike me, she does love to shop - and she has a great eye for what looks nice. Off we went, and within half an hour, found a mid-thigh length black coat, which will work well over skirts or any sort of trousers, looks smart and is comfortable. I probably would have walked right past it, left to myself - 'H' spotted it and insisted I try it on - so thankfully, that is sorted. However, she is a bad influence, because I also ended up with a top and trousers too :rolleyes:

    Just given dau a shout to get up for back to school - oh the enthusiasm (NOT) that she greeted me with :rolleyes: Housework today - I can't seem to get motivated to keep on top of it at the moment - and a visit to Mil, as with having H with me yesterday, I didn't go. A bad nights sleep last night - couldn't nod off till gone 12, awake of and on from just after 3 - so perhaps a 'Nana-nap' later.

    Hope you all have a good day xxxx
     
  13. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    Grace - so pleased you've had your op. Sending you lots of get-well-soon and absent-in-law wishes, too!
    Ann - I hate clothes shopping, too. I buy online. What transformed my closet was the house fire. Buying again to replace almost everything I stuck to a capsule wardrobe, quality over quantity, and shapes that suit me. I have half a rail of clothes and a small chest of drawers and I swear I never have 'nothing' to wear. :cool:
    I notice how style and grooming and stuff alters around the country. In London you would be frowned on if you wore heavy make-up. (Not that I do.) When we last went to Liverpool for the footie I felt very under-made-up by local standards. Is it still like that on a Saturday night?
     
  14. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Evening all (it certainly feels like 'evening' here rather than 'afternoon'),

    Grace, I'm so glad to hear that you have had your knee done and are on the mend :) I think I am looking forward to an in-law update :eek:

    Amy, it's lovely to hear that you are making plans for something that you want to do at Thanksgiving! I hope you are able to do the same for Christmas too :) I am also glad to hear that your Mum's friend will be able to move rooms at the same time and hope that the process will go smoothly.

    Gosh JM and Ann, your daughters are teeny!

    RedLou, it's interesting to hear how pleased you are with your 'capsule wardrobe'. I have been in the habit of buying things rather too often, usually cheap and cheerful, and have loads of things that I hardly wear. I have to stop now that neither of us are earning!

    Ann, I'm glad that the coat shopping was successful! The kind of shopping I enjoy is general browsing and buying something that takes my fancy. Having to get something for a particular purpose is often far less rewarding. What a good idea to take your friend with you, it sounds as if it saved you lots of time :)

    How lovely that your new employers seem to be genuinely nice people and interested in your welfare. Do try out the hotel facilities if you can, it would be rude not to ;)

    I do hope that this year goes well for your daughter and she ends up with the results she deserves. I always used to hate the first day back but soon settle, I hope the same can be said for your daughter.

    How lovely that your oldest daughter wants to come home for Christmas :) My son used to spend the day with his girlfriend's family - she didn't want to leave her mum as her father had died just before she started at Uni. The gf's mum had her birthday on Dec 31st, so I never got them for New Year either. I will admit that I used to wonder whether it would ever be my 'turn' but, as it happens, they are no longer together so it is not an issue.

    I'm afraid I can't comment about logging into TP early in the morning, my 'lark' days are over :eek:

    It's been very grey here today but still rather humid. It makes it difficult to know what to wear! Did my usual aquagym session (this has the usual type of gym equipment - strider, climber, cycle etc - bolted onto the walls of the pool so that everything is low impact) and then out for coffee and lunch with friend. I rather enjoy being 'a lady who lunches' :D
     
  15. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Grace, I am SO pleased to hear your op is over and done, and am hoping that you have as smooth a recovery as possible. It must be very frustrating to not be able to get comfortable and I hope the physiotherapist can help. Please look after yourself and don't worry about MIL or the in-laws right now, just rest and recover and get better. It is very good to hear from you!

    Sorry for any confusion over bratwurst versus rotten children. Don't think I haven't been tempted to roast some brats at times, or at least rake them over the coals! One side of my family (not the side with the teeny tiny bit of Irish, upon whom I blame my freckles) is of German-American extraction, and bratwurst is always a part of any barbeque that we have.

    While not exactly the weekend that DH and I would have planned (due to hosting my cousin from out of town) it was still very pleasant and we did have some time to ourselves yesterday.

    On Saturday, we went to my mother's care home and were able to measure her furniture, and also to get into the new room and take measurements there. The new room is quite a bit smaller and the wardrobe is TINY so we will have to be careful about what we pick and choose.

    I have also heard it's better to move sooner rather than later and hope, hope, hope this will prove to be correct in this case. I am relieved that my mother and Miss T will move together, as it seems the best possible solution. My DH thinks my mother will be very upset by the move, and although I know it's impossible to predict, and am trying to hope for the best, I fear he may be right.

    I do think that moving into a smaller and quieter area of the care home is a good idea. She is more often now, easily distracted and disturbed by too much stimulation. Her current room overlooks the front door and parking area, and leads to some upset and delusions from noises outside, especially at night. The new room looks out into the garden, which is very nice, and quiet and private. The memory care unit is decorated very much the same as the unit where she now lives, and the bathrooms are identical, so I am hoping that continuity will help.

    We had planned to take my mother out to lunch but forgot the care home was having an event on Saturday. I don't know if I can explain the concept of tailgating for American football games, but will give it a try if you ask! At any rate, it was a party to celebrate the opening game of the season for our local university American football team. As you may know, here in the States we get worked up over American football (God help us all) and we live in a town with a large university and no professional American football team, so everyone goes mad for the university team. I can't explain why, because I don't understand it (I am not originally from this town and fear one would have to be born/raised here to comprehend this phenomenon). So everyone dresses in team colors and even if you can't get tickets to the game (they are hard to get, and expensive), you might have a party at your house, or even go and have a party in a carpark near the university (that's the tailgating bit). So the carehome had set up a big TV in one of the lounges and had party food and a full bar and all that sort of thing. It was clear we shouldn't try to take my mother out, so we watched the first half of the game instead.

    My mother was happy to have us sit with her and Miss T, but she was confused. I am grateful that she didn't seem agitated, but she asked us over and over, what were our plans? And what were we doing that day? And how long were we staying?And so on, and eventually I realized that my mother thought she was back in the city where she lived for many years (where I was born and grew up) and that DH and I had driven a long way to see her. At times, she seemed to think she was in her own home, as she would mention needing us to repair something in the kitchen or living room. At one point she asked if we would be able to stay to dinner (evening meal; it was noon at this point) and was visibly disappointed when DH said we would not. As silly as it sounds, I felt badly. (That's an echo of pre-diagnosis, but not pre-dementia I fear, when I would drive to where my mother lived to take her to the doctor or whatever, and she'd always ask me if I could stay and have dinner.) But she was not upset to see us leave and for the first time ever, didn't walk us out of the building.

    I can see the behaviour issues the staff have been telling me about. In addition to the disorientation and confusion, my mother repeatedly made very nasty remarks about many of the other residents, often in a very angry/belligerent tone. I gather there have been incidents in the dining room (I think the nurse manager is hoping to spare my feelings as I can't get details out of her) related to this nastiness about other residents. I don't know that transferring her to the memory care unit is going to solve this problem, because it seems likely to me that my mother will find new persons to dislike, but we will see. She was also vocal and negative about one of the staff (she tends to find a carer on every shift to denigrate) and I wonder if this has also been a problem, although surely the staff would be used to this sort of thing.

    I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on at such length about this but the upcoming move and so forth have been preying on my mind.

    Thanks for your kind reinforcements about our Thanksgiving plans. In addition to seeing good friends, DH has perked up since that phone call, so I am grateful for his sake. I know he is still upset about his father's death but he seems to be doing a bit better just in the past couple of weeks, and now we have something to look forward to.

    Ann, glad the coat was sorted so easily, and I should like to go shopping with your friend, "H!" I think it is safe to say that we all think the new job situation sounds promising and look forward to hearing more about it.

    RedLou, that sounds a very sensible approach to the clothing situation. I'll have to give it some thought.

    Slugsta, how are the cats doing?

    Spamar, JM, and everyone I've unintentionally forgotten, hope you're all doing well!
     
  16. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds

    So pleased that things have gone well for you Grace....your gardener sounds lovely. Take good care of yourself.....
     
  17. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds

    Ouch, ever so ouch! Hope you feel much better ASAP.! That really must have knocked you for six.
     
  18. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Hope the back to school day went OK for your daughter Ann. You have so many worries, you must be flitting between them all the time. No wonder you're tired.

    The new job will, hopefully, be a new positive in your life, and lift your spirits and your energy....
    Sending a big hug.....((((:))))))))
     
  19. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Evening again,

    Dotty, I used to work for an oral surgeon who did a lot of wisdom tooth removals - I always used to feel sorry for the patients! I do hope you are now more comfortable and able to get a good night's sleep.

    You too Grace.

    Amy, your mum's move seems to have been very well planned, I hope it goes smoothly and she settles well. Glad to hear that your OH seems a bit brighter, although it's early days yet.

    We have promised to take Mum out to the local-ish raptor place tomorrow. A lot of people from where she lives are going to Longleat for the day. by coach, on Thursday and Mum was keen to go. Sadly, I had to persuade her this it would be too much for her (she hated the most recent trip, to a seaside town along the coast. She was bored and miserable, wanted to go home but the coach wasn't due for several hours), especially as no staff were able to go with them. I would have loved to take her ourselves but, realistically, it would be too much for me, never mind Mum! So we promised her a day out with us to compensate - although the Longleat trip will actually be on Thursday when Mum is now at DC - and the birdies seem to be a good choice as Mum likes them (as do I) and it is not too far away.

    The cats are getting on pretty well. They are tolerating each other and I have seen some fairly long nose-touching sessions. Often ended by Sky lifting her lip and Alf running off! He is such a big softy and our previous cat, Cleo, was very dominant. It looks as if even tiny Sky will be the boss! As long as they tolerate each other and neither is bullied I will be content although, TBH, I really hope they might become friends. Alf never stopped asking Cleo to play, or trying to creep closer when they were on the same bed, so it seems that he would like a kitty companion. Cleo wanted to be an Only Cat, I'm undecided about Sky as she lived with her adult daughter for some years.

    Still pretty humid here, although getting cooler in the evenings. There was a beautiful sunset as I came home from choir, just before 8pm :)
     
  20. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,021
    Female
    Chester
    Mixed couple of days here, got the final school shop (well enough to start school with) done yesterday. Last bit was new school shoes in Clarks in the outlet and bag for dau, I had delayed her ordering the one she liked from paperchase as it was expensive, went to look at it in outlet, and not very suitable, so started wandering, found one she liked for a lot less.

    Minimum name labels required for son done last night, more to do daily now:eek:

    Went to see mum yesterday, she has had scabs on her nose for a while which I think she is picking at but she now has lots of scratch marks on her legs, so I need to speak to carers and GP, she was seen by GP in July.

    Son texted his friend to sort out what he thought was an agreed walk to school and friend didn't want to walk with as was walking with someone else who doesn't like son. So tears this morning. But in school he is in different half to this friend and he saw lots of friends today so all happy in the end, but I felt pretty sick all day worrying about him.

    Dau back tomorrow and back to normal routine boo hiss.

    Tour of Britain cycle race was near us today and also on roads I ride on alot tomorrow, but with swapping days for school start can't take time off to watch. Steve cummings is lying second :D:D - he's posted a beautiful photo of him and his daughter on the podium for best British rider today. Hoping he can grab a few seconds in Thursday's timetrial and get in the lead.
     

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