So bizarre !

RedLou

Registered User
Jul 30, 2014
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Just get through today, Ann. Don't even begin to worry about the other atm. Huge hugs. .
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
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Just get through today, Ann. Don't even begin to worry about the other atm. Huge hugs. .

Good advice, Red - thanks Hun.

celia, its OK - its me, so fizzed up that I am not sure I am taking anything in as I should :eek:

You know what I would really like to do? Plaster the advertising boards around the L.A.s main offices, and throughout the town, with giant copies of the photograph I took of Mil last night, with a banner proclaiming that THIS is the standard of care in the only respite facility in the county. That this is how elderly dementia patients seem to fare in this area.

Why the hell is no one who has any clout doing something about this situation ? So many posts on here complaining about the standards of care, be it home care, residential care or respite care - and yes, I do know that there are some fantastic homes and carers, its just that even if just a quater of care available is this poor, its a disgrace and something needs to be done :(
 

1954

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Jan 3, 2013
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Sidcup
Am sorry the terrible time you are having

I made a formal complaint to the care home and adult services/CQC, where MIL has respite. Like you I was not sure if I could/can cope with MIL at home without respite and was really worried my respite would refuse to have her afterwards

Well I have been pleasantly surprised

I got an apology from the care home and respite is still continuing AND MIL care has been excellent since my complaint

Like you I was livid because MIL not only stunk but was filthy dirty. All totally unnecessary

Please complain x






1954 x
 

angelface

Registered User
Oct 8, 2011
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london
Just sending support for the day. Really hope there is a satisfactory out come at the hospital.

As for the respite situation - words fail me. So sorry you have to deal with this as well as everything else. Do hope the CPN has some idea how to sort this out.
 

Risa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2015
479
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Essex
Hope everything goes ok today Ann, I read your posts everyday and the last thing you needed was the appalling situation with the respite. I feel for you and your husband - absolutely everything you deal with winds up being another battle to fight and it shouldn't be that way :(
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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I'm sat here in absolute bits.

Consultant turned up - and guess what?

Last minute, very sorry, but the bed he booked is not now available. He's off on his jollies for a week, will 'chase it up' before he goes, but can't tell us what will happen.

I just give up
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
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74
Durham
Oh Anne that's terrible i don't know what to say , just when you think things can't get any worse, thinking of you all xxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

lizzybean

Registered User
Feb 3, 2014
1,366
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Lancashire
Ann, I am so, so sorry for you all. I don't post often but read every single day. You need to take MIL to DC now & give them a piece of your mind. As for the Consultant words really do fail!!
 

CeliaW

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
5,643
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Hampshire
Oh Ann.. I don't know what to say, I am astounded.

The only thing I can think of is to contact the head of adult mental health / senior consultant or similar but you don't need this.

Would your GP intervene?

Huge hugs, I am so so sorry xx
 

Moonflower

Registered User
Mar 28, 2012
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Does the CPN work Fridays? If so I would ask them to visit you urgently.
This is so awful. Inexcusable. I am so sorry Ann, for you, for your family, and for MiL.
 

Ann Mac

Registered User
Oct 17, 2013
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I just feel like - well, I don't honestly know.

You could see Mil inflating like a balloon whilst he was talking to her - agreeing with him, yes she would go into hospital, saying all the right things - but the agitation there on her face.

I was less than polite.

I told him that I was disgusted. That he had quite probably let us in for a weekend from hell, as though Mil will more than likely forget the facts of the situation, the emotions will still be there and she will react badly. That it had been 7 or 8 months since I requested this assessment and that we had merely been pi$$ed about from pillar to post since, with nothing more than apologies and excuses. I told him that from everything I have read the inmates in the new prison being built locally would be treated with more decency than has been shown to Mil. That I wondered what was the point of a service that seems to specialise in letting people down?

As he was leaving, I told him I hoped he had a lovely holiday - I think he got the sarcasm.

I want to make a formal complaint. OH doesn't - he says it won't help. I've said, in that case, enough - that until this is sorted, I'm bailing out. He's booked emergency leave from work.

In the middle of all this, we get the news that he has passed - with absolutely flying colours - the last interviews and assessments. Its taken the shine off - as I've said, unless Mil is sorted, there is no way that I can or will feel able to look after her whilst he is away for extended training periods.

Its such a bloody mess :(
 

angelface

Registered User
Oct 8, 2011
1,085
0
london
Just awful! Don't know how they can do this to you.

When you feel able,would it be worth speaking to SS and saying you can no longer cope?

So wish I had something useful to suggest.
 

Grace L

Registered User
Jun 14, 2014
647
0
NW UK
I only popped in hoping for good news for the Macs....
Sat here open mouthed and at a complete loss of what to say , other than I am sorry.

Could you contact your Local MP?, or maybe your local newspaper?

I should have complained about SS 'treatment' my husband got, and never did.
I always thought they had the ability to withdraw the help we here getting ,
and that is the main reason I never said or did anything official.

Lots of e-mails were sent, but never anything high-up the chain.
Part of me now wishes I had done something after my husband died.


Hang in there Ann... we are all thinking of you. xxxxx


Well done Mr Mac :) xxx
 

Earthgirl72

Registered User
Feb 2, 2016
135
0
Just home from doing dad's lunch. This is not what I was hoping or expecting to read. I am quite honestly dumbfounded.

I am new to this journey and quite simply don't know what to suggest.

Sending love and strength to you all x