So bizarre !

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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:eek::eek:

I saw your post and thought not like you to be on this late. As well as being in an easy to clean area glad OH was home to take her. Not nice for either of you but you do the bulk of the caring and are only just getting over your bug.

They'll be another couple of hours I guess so try and get some sleep/snooze once you settle daughter.

The waits currently at about 3 hours, apparently - triage have assessed it as 'just a nasty cut', so she isn't a priority. Moonflower, from previous experience, the dementia makes no difference - last time we took her in after she had some sort of seizure, we were there about 2 hours before she was seen, I think and there for 6 hours in total. OH says she is regaling some girls sat near by with some wonderous confabulations at the moment - as long as she doesn't start to get upset, he says he'll be fine - not what he needs after a 12 hour shift, but at least he is off tomorrow and can catch up on sleep if he needs too.

I'm hoping that being as its on her leg, she won't pick at it - the last two skin tears she had were on her arm/hand and she was awful for picking at them, so they took ages to heal and I was worried about infection the whole time. This one will at least be covered by her wearing trousers so I'm hoping it will be a case of out of sight, out of mind!
 

Tin

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May 18, 2014
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Ann that's awful, hope it is not too long before mother and son are home. My mum once knocked her lower leg on frame of bed, I was frantic trying to work out how she had done this, because I was not in the room with her and only worked it out later when I found a small amount of blood on sheet. Take care try not to wear down the floor too much.
 

Moonflower

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Mar 28, 2012
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I know its difficult Ann but could you at least lie down while you are waiting, even if you can't sleep? You're very likely to be on solo MiL duty tomorrow if she is too tired for daycare and OH is catching up on sleep.
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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I know its difficult Ann but could you at least lie down while you are waiting, even if you can't sleep? You're very likely to be on solo MiL duty tomorrow if she is too tired for daycare and OH is catching up on sleep.

I've been stretched out on the sofa, Moonflower, thank you hun - OH just texted - waiting time now 4 hours plus :( Mil won't last that long without kicking off, I don't think - he's in for a rocky ride. Having said that, she had had her nightime meds, including zopiclone and lorazepam just before she went upstairs - it might be more likely that she will just crash!
 

sleepless

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Feb 19, 2010
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Ann, I'm so sorry to read of your mils's accident. Were there any cardboard boxes about? Just thinking that sometimes they have wicked staples.....
Do try to sleep Ann, you have your phone by you for updates.
 

Tin

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May 18, 2014
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The right place to be if comfy. I'm on mine at moment, can't go to bed yet till absolutely sure mum is asleep. In and out of bedroom every few minutes, she thinks I'm looking for her!!
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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No boxes, sleepless - I think she must have caught her leg on the edge of one of the books inside the bag - as certain as I can be that she didn't fall, can't think how else she managed it.

Hope you manage to get to bed soon, Tin xxxx

OH now been there for just over 3 hours - last text said he didn't expect her to be seen for another couple of hours, the girls she was chatting too have now been waiting 4 and a half hours, and there are still people waiting who were there before them :(
 

Lindy50

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Dec 11, 2013
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Hi Ann, it's unusual to see you posting so late, and I'm sorry to read the reason for it :(

Do hope Mil will be okay and that she and OH don't have to wait four hours or more! :eek: Also hope you can get some rest, as you'll probably have your hands full tomorrow......

Take care, thinking of you :)

Lindy xx
 

Izzy

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I'm so sorry to read f what's happening. I do hope your MIL is seen soon. .


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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I've managed an hour or so on the sofa and just texted OH - he's now been there 5 hours and still no sign of being seen. OH's phone is about to die, and he says Mil is really starting to kick off now :(
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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Goodness Anne what an awful situation. I hope you are all ok.

Thanks Izzy. And thanks Jeany x

They got home at 5.20a.m., and I got Mil straight to bed. EIGHT hours waiting to be seen. Mils had stitches, from what OH has said and he is utterly worn out and down in the dumps. He said that she was really awful, screaming for the nurses, demanding to be seen NOW, thinking she was on a ferry to Ireland, bizzare accusations and claims, rude to everyone, commenting (loudly) on staff walking past saying that they 'didn't look busy' to her, demanding biscuits and cups of tea - he said she was just really, really unpleasant to everyone. Understandable, because of the dementia, but still, horrible to cope with her when she is like that. She's brought the same mood home with her, quite nasty and uncooperative with me when I was trying to get her to bed.

My alarm is due to go off in 45 minutes, got to get daughter up and ready for school, so I'm not bothering with bed. Will get her up and off, phone day care - obviously Mil can't go after being up most of the night - then get hubby up at 8, as he has GP appointment :( I can see both of us are going to have a tough day ahead. It will depend on Mil and her behaviour as to how much sleep we can catch up on - will have to be on shifts, as I've had to go up and put her back to bed again once already.

I do understand that resources are scarce in the NHS, but flipping heck - it just isn't right that not only Mil, with dementia, but also some very young kids who were there, had to wait that long for treatment :(
 

Rageddy Anne

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Feb 21, 2013
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Morning everyone,

GL, it does feel utterly 'bizarre' when our loved ones suddenly 'don't know' basic facts that we feel must be so ingrained and familiar that it is (to us) impossible to see how they could be forgotten. Mil has told me that She 'didn't know' that she has grandchildren - they used to be the centre of her world. That she 'didn't know' that OH and I were married - 23 years and counting! Even that she 'didn't know' that she had a son - the first time that happened must have been a real kick in the guts for OH. Even now, after months and months of knowing that she can 'forget' these things, I find a little bit of me thinking that 'No - she can't be serious!'. Its a hard one to get your head round :( xxx

I got an hour's extra peace in the end, Tin - not just better for me, but I think that the extra sleep can often help her :)

There seem to be quite a few folk with this lurgy, JM - some seem to shake it off fairly quickly, and others are like me and its lasting 2 - 3 weeks. Luck of the draw, it seems :(

Morning Slugsta - lol, comparatively, it wasn't a bad day:D No bad sundowning, the confabulations/delusions were not upsetting her for the most part, no nastiness, no escape attempts and just a mild bit of nagging towards bedtime. If I compare that to the awful delusions that poor Terry is witnessing her Mum going through, or read other threads on TP where people are dealing with violence, or extreme sundowning, or even invisibles or struggling with officialdom, then I reckon it really wasn't a bad day :D The behaviour of the night before, when she was quite deliberately faffing about rather than removing the pull ups so she could have fresh ones does tend to push my buttons. I suppose its not surprising that getting her settled in bed almost feels like the end of a days work for me, so I'm fairly eager to get her sorted and then go put my feet up - very aggrivating when she does childish things like that, especially when her whole demeanor makes it obvious its deliberate!

Terry, I really hope your Mum is more settled now, hun xxxx

When she did get up yesterday, we had more of the confabulations to deal with. She was turning down the job she had been offered in Butlins, she told me - she didn't like the look of the chef when she went for the interview! I couldn't resist saying that she was lucky to be offered the job, being as she is 74 - didn't they mind her age? She said she had lied and said she was 45, pointing out that she 'could gt away with that'. :D She went on to say that she had taken a job in a local pub - as a dancer!!!! I asked would she be pole dancing ? (I know, bad of me!) - she said she expected so, her new boss liked his dancers to do all the new jives and dances :D The mental picture that gave me nearly had me crying with laughter!

Settled her with a 'family film' - finding that certain movies can sort of keep her attention, not sure she follows them, but yesterday one of the Muppet Movies caught her eye, and we had an hour or so's peace. As soon as it was finished she started on a 'loop' that we then had off and on all day. Did S*** (her son) give a message to S*** about when he was picking her up? Only they were going home to his house and so she wanted to ask S*** what time S*** was coming for her?. OH was only in the kitchen and came through. 'S***, did S*** tell you when he was coming? You got the invitation, when am I going to S***'s house?'.

It was just so confusing! For the most part, she seemed to know that there was only one S***, her son - but was going on and on about him as though he were two separate people. She also said she knew that 'this' was her son's house - but still wanted to know when S*** was taking her to his house? Distracted her the first time with yet another film ('UP' this time, on Netflix) but once that film was over, she was off again. And it was that fixed, determined, not-going-to-be-distracted-and-going-to-keep-on-and-on-about-it type of situation. Not interested in any other film, or magazines, didn't want to fold undies or anything else we suggested to occupy her. Up and down from her seat, coming to me or OH with the same thing 'When is S*** coming to take me to his house?'. OH or I would point out that he was S***, she would say 'I know - did S*** tell you when he was coming?'. It was a complete brain mash and non-stop. In the end, OH told her to go and lie down and calm down. She argued she couldn't, she was waiting for S*** to come and collect her. Talk about banging your head on a brick wall! She eventually went up, came down half an hour later and straight back into the same thing. She would ask me, I would try and respond and she would completely blank me and go ask OH the same thing. She started to get really rude and cross, so OH sent her up again. At tea time, he called her down - she refused, so she was told 'That's OK - if you don't want your Sunday dinner, we can just bin it '- she was down in less than 3 minutes! Still the same thing and clearly very angry with us. Huffing and puffing, shovelling food in like there was no tomorrow, yet still taking ages to eat. We ignored - until she finished, stood up went to a stack of clean tea towels that I had folded ready to put away, grabbed the top one - and wiped her mouth and nose on it! That was it! OH ordered her back to her room and there she stayed. OH took her meds up at 8.30, I followed and got her changed into clean pull ups and she went to bed. We have had a lot of the 'nagging' lately, but she has been tending to go from subject to subject - this 'Where is S***?' went on more or less all day. We tried every which way to answer in a way that would satisfy her, but nothing we said worked. makes for a very long and incredibly frustrating day :(

She's supposed to have a shower at day care today - we'll see! OH in on another 12 hour shift, so hoping she is out of the 'Where's S***' loop - otherwise the end of the day might see me sat gibbering in the corner!

Hope you all have a good day xxxxx

".... gibbering in the corner" ....Ann, I so feel for you but that did make me laugh, as that's just how I feel sometimes. The things your MIL does and says so often match up with some of my husband's fantasies, but lately I think he might have had some small strokes, as he's been losing a lot of the things he could do only a few weeks ago...and strangely, I miss the colourful confabulations!

Now he only knows vaguely who I am, and the other day he asked who I was, and how long had we known each other. When I told him about sixty years, he said, how can I have known you for sixty years and yet not know you? When I told him we were married, he said " We must the love each other then" That seemed infinitely sad....

I'm sorry your MIL loses her grandchildren, and her son, and the daughter in law she must have loved a lot, and I hope she remembers you all sometimes.
 

Ann Mac

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Oct 17, 2013
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Now he only knows vaguely who I am, and the other day he asked who I was, and how long had we known each other. When I told him about sixty years, he said, how can I have known you for sixty years and yet not know you? When I told him we were married, he said " We must the love each other then" That seemed infinitely sad....

Very sad, Anne :( I honestly don't think that Mil is able to access any of the feelings she once had for us all. Even if she does accept how we are related to her, its as though (usually) it means nothing. I guess that's the bit thats hurtful - it's not the loss of knowing the connections, I don't really care if she thinks that we are just friends or that the grandkids are her neighbours children. What I hate is that she honestly seems to have lost all memory of what she used to feel for her family xxx
 

Spamar

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Oct 5, 2013
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Suffolk
Just caught up. I am so sorry for the night you and your OH have had. Hope the day, somehow, is better. What a wait! With mil kicking off as well. You would think they could prioritise someone like that.
Just sending you lots of (((((hugs))))) and hope for a better day for you.