Hi All
I need some advice please.
As most of you will no my mum went in to a EMI home back in march,the staff were lovely and kept me informed all the time when i couldnt visit.On the day mum died the manager phoned me at 11.30 pm to tell me,as you can imagine the rest of the night just dragged on and on.
First thing in the morning my daughter and i went over there with a bouqut of flowers to say thanks and to just chat things over.
Whilst there i asked were mum was now(with hindsight maybe i shoulve asked when she phoned to tell me mum had gone) and the manager said a local undertakers had collected her and she gave me there phone number.I asked if this meant i had to use this firm and she said no ,i should contact the firm i wanted to use and they would take over.
I wanted to use the firm i had used with my dad previously as i havent got any money and they were happy to let me pay monthly.(sounds terriable doesnt it)
Anyway i cantacted the firm and made arrangements for them to collect mum and to go in and see them and make arrangements for the funeral.
When i went in to see them they said that the first undertakers faxed them a bill for £175.00 for the time they had mum,well i was quite shocked at the amount and the fact mum had only been gone 4 days but said i would pay it but they would have to wait.
Later that day he manager of the firm i was using phoned me and said he had spoken to the other undertakers and the care home on my behalf and he belived i wasnt responiable for the bill as if i had been asked what undertakers i wished to use they would have collected mum therselves and i wouldnt have been charged twice.To be honest i wasnt really that interested in this bill and didnt take much notice.
That night my daughter and i went to the care home to collect mums stuff,as those of you with family in care homes no theres nothing of any value ,just personal things.
When we got there the two staff working wouldnt let us in ,apparently the manager had said we were not allowed in to collect mums belongings.As you can imagine i was fuming,we ended up having to get the police and it took them over an hour of talking to the manager on the phone for her to agree to get mums stuff.
When she eventually turned up at the home she still wouldnt let us in ,her and her staff just bagged mums stuff up in bags and practiclly threw it out the door.
They even broke a vase of mums,not any value but what i brought her last xmas the last present i gave her that she would have understood about.
I would have liked a few minutes in the room as well,that was afterall where she died.
I have contacted social services and spoke to the inspector for the home,also the police have contacted me as the manager is complaining about them and the manager of the undertakers as well.
Sorry this is so long but i wanted to explain it all properly and also ask where do i go from here.? see no point in writing to the care home as the person i would have to complain to is the one in the middle of it all.
Thanks
joy
I need some advice please.
As most of you will no my mum went in to a EMI home back in march,the staff were lovely and kept me informed all the time when i couldnt visit.On the day mum died the manager phoned me at 11.30 pm to tell me,as you can imagine the rest of the night just dragged on and on.
First thing in the morning my daughter and i went over there with a bouqut of flowers to say thanks and to just chat things over.
Whilst there i asked were mum was now(with hindsight maybe i shoulve asked when she phoned to tell me mum had gone) and the manager said a local undertakers had collected her and she gave me there phone number.I asked if this meant i had to use this firm and she said no ,i should contact the firm i wanted to use and they would take over.
I wanted to use the firm i had used with my dad previously as i havent got any money and they were happy to let me pay monthly.(sounds terriable doesnt it)
Anyway i cantacted the firm and made arrangements for them to collect mum and to go in and see them and make arrangements for the funeral.
When i went in to see them they said that the first undertakers faxed them a bill for £175.00 for the time they had mum,well i was quite shocked at the amount and the fact mum had only been gone 4 days but said i would pay it but they would have to wait.
Later that day he manager of the firm i was using phoned me and said he had spoken to the other undertakers and the care home on my behalf and he belived i wasnt responiable for the bill as if i had been asked what undertakers i wished to use they would have collected mum therselves and i wouldnt have been charged twice.To be honest i wasnt really that interested in this bill and didnt take much notice.
That night my daughter and i went to the care home to collect mums stuff,as those of you with family in care homes no theres nothing of any value ,just personal things.
When we got there the two staff working wouldnt let us in ,apparently the manager had said we were not allowed in to collect mums belongings.As you can imagine i was fuming,we ended up having to get the police and it took them over an hour of talking to the manager on the phone for her to agree to get mums stuff.
When she eventually turned up at the home she still wouldnt let us in ,her and her staff just bagged mums stuff up in bags and practiclly threw it out the door.
They even broke a vase of mums,not any value but what i brought her last xmas the last present i gave her that she would have understood about.
I would have liked a few minutes in the room as well,that was afterall where she died.
I have contacted social services and spoke to the inspector for the home,also the police have contacted me as the manager is complaining about them and the manager of the undertakers as well.
Sorry this is so long but i wanted to explain it all properly and also ask where do i go from here.? see no point in writing to the care home as the person i would have to complain to is the one in the middle of it all.
Thanks
joy