Finding help
Dear Bel,
I think what you are saying with your post is that you are ready to accept some help in order to maintain 'normality' for as long as possible (i.e. running your business, as well as your home, and also caring for hubby).
Have you had a carer's assessment?
I don't know whether it works the same anywhere in the UK, but I think you are entitled to a carer's assessment through your CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse), who is attached to your surgery, or through Social Services. If you are not sure where to start, could you talk to your GP about it?
Between these various agencies, they should be able to come up with some support package for both yourself and your husband. Depending on your needs (as we all know, everyone's situation is unique), this could be in the form of carers for your husband while you concentrate on your business, and often, these carers will take on light housework, which would help you, too. You may also be entitled to some sitting services, which would allow you to 'escape' for a little while, do something on your own, with friends, with your lovely grandchildren ..... the important thing is that you put pride to one side, ask for help, and then 'go for it'! I know from my own experience that this is easier said than done, and I am yet to master the 'time to myself' bit, but one step at the time should at least ease the situation a little bit to start with.
Take care of yourself, and let us know how you get on!