1. sassycurls

    sassycurls Registered User

    Apr 11, 2006
    hi i dont if i am doing this right lol. My problem is my mother is 81 and i am 41 i have been looking after her for years on my own with no help. I have been in touch with social services on several occassions who i have found don't help.I have asked for a carers assessment but haven't been given one.

    Don't wont to moan but I need help I am a single parent and have brought my children up soley on my own and with mother being this way I am nearly at cracking point.

    I take her everywhere and do everything running two houses. (see I am moaning sorry). I have had to give up work and have no life of my own.

    My problem is she smokes and has done so all her life. With this smoking rule coming out she can't go into a home she can't have anyone from the council or it's services come to her because she has no smoke free room her house is open plan.

    Don't know where to go for help.
  2. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    North East
    Goodness Sassycurls

    Thats a tricky one!

    I'm all for this No smoking rule, but never gave one thought about how it would affect someone with AD. I'm also a bit naive about the difficulties on giving up - what would happen, if her cigarettes became misplaced?

  3. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I think there may be some exemptions for care homes, but don't have time right now to read all 92 pages of this report :eek:


    The appropriate national authority may make regulations providing for

    specified descriptions of premises, or specified areas of them, not to be smoke-

    free despite section 2.


    Examples of descriptions of premises which may be specified are the

    following, or any subset of the following—

    premises where a person has his home, or is living whether

    permanently or temporarily (including hotels, care homes and prisons

    and other places where a person may be detained),


    'm also not sure how this affects carers coming into someones home. I will try to have another look and post back if I find anything. It is a very interesting point that you raise.

  4. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    One of my good friends has been warden in several sheltered housing complexes and smokes like a chimney ..... as do several of the residents ....... in public areas where you're not supposed to smoke. I'm not saying this to condone smoking or to judge it, just to point out that although there may be 'rules' they're not always interpreted as rigidly as might be expected.
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Sassycurls

    Congratulations! You've found a new problem for us. Not much fun for you though.

    Some care homes do have a smoking lounge, but I don't think any would allow smoking in bedrooms, because of the fire risk. That might be a problem if your Mum is immobile.

    I really don't know what the situation is when carers visit, that's a really tricky one.

    But if your Mum is living alone with AD and smoking, isn't there a huge fire risk there?

    I'm so sorry you've got this to worry about, you sound at the end of your tether. Keep in touch, we all do try to help where we can.

    All the best,
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Hi sassycurls, Don`t apologize for moaning, you`re entitled to.

    When my mother was in a home, there were a couple of smokers. They were allowed to smoke in the `smoking room` but weren`t allowed matches or a lighter. The carers lit their cigarettes for them.

    There were often staff who were smokers in this room, so someone was always there.

    I don`t know if things have changed since these new anti-smoking laws came into effect [and I`m not sure whether or not they have started yet]. My mother died in 2002 and I know there have been a lot of changes since then.

    Hope you get something sorted out. Sylvia
  7. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I think it's sometime this summer that the laws come into effect.
  8. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Hi Sassycurls .... there's huge difference between moaning and being realistic .....:) (and it's OK to moan - we all need to! ... don't fret!) ...

    On top of everything else, how lovely you of you to be concerned on this score ....

    I have been a long term smoker .... (I'm 43) ... the health warnings and restrictions (not to mention the increased cost) applied over the years are helping me to keep trying to give up (and failing :mad: .... typical Mark Twain, I'm afraid ... "I can give up easily - I've done it loads of times"....) .... I applaud the age limit for purchase increasing to 18 etc etc ...... I welcome 'smoke free areas' (have even walked out of a restauarant myself coz I find it offensive that cigarette smoke is wafting over food.......) ..... BUT ......

    At 81 - dementia or not - I figure someone has a right to make a choice if they are able to ...... and to deny an AD sufferer a 'pleasure' they may still enjoy (whether it's pleasure or addiction)..... and as long as it is supervised - as in done safely .....

    I wonder what 'FOREST' have to say about the situation?

    To think that professionals won't visit in her home seems ludicrous .... if so, perhaps doctors and nurses should stop working in hospitals in case they catch any infections????? :confused:

    Love, Karen, (TF), x
  9. soulsmilin

    soulsmilin Registered User

    Feb 13, 2007
    Tyne and wear
    Not sure how relevent this is but even social workers and any goverment employee that may be transporting people in there vechical will no longer be able to smoke in it, even when out of work!!

    Hows your mum feel, has she ever wanted to give up?? if so there is a course of tablets called zyban, made origionally for the depressed in the usa, the study group came back saying they were still depressed but had stopped smoking!!,

    Cost about £200 so doc's keen to try other methods, but works while you are still smoking actually makes you not want to smoke, and also elliminates the craving, may be something to consider, depending on how your mom feels, as a self confessed chimmney, I agree with her having the choice, would recomend you speak to your doc's/ nurse if this may be feasable.

    good luck to you both
  10. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    (One of the things I used to dread about hospitals etc., day rooms full of smoke as they all were then.)

    When I was shown round the home where I was hoping my mother would eventually live, the manager asked if my mother smoked. No. Oh good, I won't take you into the smoking-room then, it's horrible. She just showed me the room through its glass doors. I don't know whether that room will be kept as a smoking-room under the new regulations.

  11. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    Hi Sassycurls

    This is a tricky one! My mum smokes like the proverbial. Even more now she has AD as she forgets. So she's constantly lighting up. The living room resembles a 1950s film set. The smoke just hangs in layers and it's gross! By the by, when she went into a home temporarily they had a smoking room. Which sometimes she managed to get to. Other times she forgot and was admonished for smoking in her room. I did explain to the manager that she didn't remember but was greeted with an icy stare and told: "Ask her not to do it again." And how many times do you want me to repeat that dear lady?!:eek:

    After the smoking ban comes in in July, I'm not sure where people will stand (quite literally!) I have heard they are training undercover operatives from the local authority to spy on people who 'break the rules.' What a hoot, the courts will be packed - can you imagine it, what an odd assortment of reprobates. Anyway, as Karen said, I think at 81, you just have to let her continue. I've asked my mum about stopping and she looked at me as if I was bonkers.

    Strangely, mum doesn't smoke when the CPN or SW visit - although the place reeks. I don't know the answer to your question, but surely people won't be refused help on the grounds of doing something they can't give up or forget they actually do ... or am I being really stupid?

    You are not moaning. It's a valid question and is a problem. I can't believe you haven't had some kind of SW assessment. You have a lot on your plate. I am talking to my mum's SW next week so I will ask about the smoking thing and let you know.

    Keep your chin up - I know it's very difficult situation you're in.
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi sassycurls and everyone

    I have moved this thread into the main forum area where more people may reply.
  13. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    And why are children (of any age) held responsible for the behaviour of their parents?

  14. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    Bloomin eck Karen!!!! That would mean in the hospital where mum was there wouldn't be any staff:rolleyes:

    (sorry ;))
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    The ban is already in force in Scotland, but NHs still have smoking rooms. I guess they accept that making elderly/disabled people stop is a no no.

    Incidentally, I hate walking past offices where gangs of employees are gathered on the pavement for their fag-break. How can that be healthy?

    (Not condemning the smokers, used to be one myself, but there should surely be some better provision).
  16. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    I generally find that the entrances to hospitals are very similar. Theoretically smoking is banned even in the grounds but our local hospital has a lot of people standing at the entrance smoking - some in wheelchairs or on crutches.

    I'm also an ex-smoker.
  17. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    When I was in the UK in January, I was listening to a programme on Radio 4 about this. I didn't hear all of it, but they interviewed some patients who had been sectioned. At the current time there's a "smoking room" within the ward, and to be honest, that sounded like the one place they could be "not in hospital". When the law comes into force, this room will be closed, yet these people cannot leave these locked units. The staff freely admitted that what was going to happen was that people were going to be attempting to sneak a smoke all over the place, and that was going to be potentially far more dangerous than having one room available. Let's not forget that these patients, who haven't been convicted of a crime, have for the most part been shown to have, at the very least, poor judgement.

    Personally, I don't a have a problem with a ban - I do have a problem when such a ban is so rigidly enforced.
  18. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Can't agree more Skye .... not only am I guilty of being a smoker I also litter the pavement and lurk behind the bikesheds at work .... but even that humiliation isn't enough to stop me..... (yet)...

    Found this on a link from Forests website.....


    Love, Karen, x
  19. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    July 1st is the day. I remember because its my sons birthday on the 2nd.
    At work the are giving the smokers some kind of bus stop effort away from the public. They are getting rid of our smoking room. It's been 5 weeks for me since i paked up and now i need 2 go on a diet badley, reason for not dropping in the t room for cream cakes lol:D
  20. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Five weeks, janjan! That's brilliant ... Tea room is quite safe, you know ... skimmed milk available and much dancing - very good for the dieters!!!! (and smoke-free!)

    Sassycurls, please let us know how you are getting on ....

    Love, Karen, x

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.