Smilies

[Nutty Nan]

I have read many threads and messages, and obviously, we are all weighed down with problems and sadness. What I miss most is the fun and laughter we used to share. Puns are lost, jokes backfire, and smiles are harder to come by.
However, we cheer each other up as much as possible, and as a family, pass on funny incidents which make us smile, not because of lack of respect for my husband, but because I think it helps us to feel close to him and the feeling that he needs our support gives us strength to be there for him.
Without wishing to offend anybody, therefore, may I share a few 'smilies' with you - perhaps you can reciprocate, to lighten the mood?

1. Over a year ago, when our daughter moved into her own house, she was trying to sell her heavy exercise bike, to no avail. She could not even give it away. Her fiance came up with a tongue-in-cheek suggestion, which made me roar with laughter: "you could give it to your Dad. That way, he would get his exercise without getting lost all the time!"

2. My husband keeps insisting, that he does not trust the building society any longer, and that he is going to withdraw his savings and hide them in the house. Although I try not to respond, he knows that I am not in favour. Last night, after getting worked up about some junk mail, which always brings on the same worries, he said "That's it! Tomorrow, I am going to get my money. I know of at least six places in this house where I could hide it." - Well, what's new: do we not spend precious time almost every single day trying to find keys, letters, purses and the like, which are in a 'safe place' .......

3. Dental appointments have filled my loved one with dread in recent weeks. We have now discovered that, each time we go, he is convinced that 'they' will pull his teeth out. Probably distant memories of dentists in the 30s and 40s?! The dental surgery are not only aware of Tony's problems, but amazingly tolerant, patient and accommodating, and the dentist usually explains carefully what he is going to do. At one point during the treatment, after waiting for the injection to become effective, the dentist bent over Tony's head to proceed with the drilling, when Tony stopped him and asked "what are you going to do? You are not going to kiss me?" The dentist's explanation was swift and kind, whilst I sat in my chair, mortified, before I got the giggles ....

Love to you all. I am looking forward to your messages.
CJ

 

[Helen_old]

Dear Carmen,

Thank you for your post & I think your suggestion is a great idea. Laughter really is the best way to relieve stress & that in turn allows us to continue to be there for our loved ones & they for us. I don't think it is disrespectful to share an amusing story or a few uplifting words with people who understand. My mum has always had a good sense of humour & still has. She always says that a good laugh does more for her than medicine (she has other health problems apart from dementia). Perhaps to have one thread that is entirely amusing or uplifting posts would be a good idea. So if you are having an emotionally fragile day & don't feel able to read other posts regarding the reality of our situation you could just read this thread & hopefully leave feeling a bit stronger. I'd love to hear what others think.

Take care

Helen

 

[Brucie]

I've had some replies from Jan in our time together, but now that she has pretty much lost her speech, I don't get too many good ones. Occasionally, something clicks somewhere in her brain and the speech returns, fleetingly.

A few months ago when I was on my daily visit, I told her I could stay longer than usual that day.

Her reply?

"Oh bloody stinky"; this with a wide smile and a twinkle in her eye.

(I guess I was fortunate she has not learned from another resident, who is in her eighties. Apparently a refined lady in the past, she now spouts reams of the most appalling four letter language at anyone who passes her chair; this is when she is not saying sweetly to the same people "I love you", with a wicked toothless leer)

 

[kms]

Hi Carmen

This is a late reply to your "smilies" as I'm a new member and am continually browsing the forum but I had to smile at some of your "funnies".

My Mum has recently been diagnosed with AD and Cardiovascular dementia and is in the early to middle stages.

Anyway - I find that humour is one of the best coping strategies so far. I went to visit Mum (whose still at home) this w'end and took her out. We went to visit her Mum (my Gran) who's in a care home and Mum saw a plate displayed on a shelf that she always stops to look at. Once again she commented that she loved this plate so i said well it's alright - you could pinch it - you can always blame Alzheimers - "it's my illness m'lord". Mum found this this hilarious as she is at the stage where most of the time she can't remember what is wrong with her but is still aware of lots of things.

Mum also seems to enjoy being rude to My Dad and sometimes takes great pleasure in sticking two fingers up at him behind his back which always makes me laugh as before this illness my sweet, polite, "good girl" Mother wouldn't have dreamt of doing anything so outrageous.

As Mum's social inhibitions go - a childlike humour appears to be emerging which seems to wonderfully innocent - I just hope it continues.

The old adage - "if you didn't laugh you'd cry" is so true. I just hope we can all continue to find the humour as long as we need it because without it this dreadful illness saps everyones resources and the lack of hope is sometimes unbearable.

So yep - like you I need to see the funny side - keep the tales coming

 

[Brucie]

Bear in public

Sometimes one has to come up with bizarre solutions to providing care for dementia patients.

The most Jan can do to get around is to crawl these days and she can fall against things even in a room at her care home that is well protected by mattresses.

We thought of all sorts of things to help and the solution turned out to be Bradley Bear [what would I do without Nina and Anna, whose idea it was!].

Bear? how could a bear help? Wait til you see the size of him! The only way to get him to the home was to strap him into the passenger seat of the car. Trouble was, I had to park the car and Bradley at work for the day before visiting Jan. Such comments, and such funny looks from other drivers on the M4!

Bradley works a treat! [picture attached]

Morals of the story: think laterally to help the patient; don't be afraid to look daft; laugh in the face of adversity; value your loved ones

 

[Brucie]

so how did Bradley Bear help?

He sits against the danger spot where Jan might hurt herself, and no-one EVER got hurt falling against Bradley...