1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Aloysius

    Aloysius Registered User

    Aug 19, 2014
    23
    Hello, I thought I'd update on Mum although just typing the words makes me wince as I know things are getting worse and that they can't improve. :( I did the monthly visit of 300 mile round trip on Saturday (stayed overnight at my elderly uncle's; he doesn't have any cognitive impairment) and saw what so many other posters must see/have seen with sinking spirits: Every dish and bit of cutlery used, out of date food (and very little of it) in the fridge, laundry piled up, bed unchanged and now...Mum not showering Anyway, I did my crisis management: cleared up, went shopping, cooked, cajoled her into the shower but left yesterday knowing that it's not really helping. Of course, Mum INSISTS she needs no help so although she could afford a bit of help she won't ask. (She is in a housing association semi sheltered flat)

    She has had a CT scan and one appointment at the Memory Clinic A friend accompanied her. I wrote to the GP with a letter that Mum willingly signed saying that findings could be shared with me as her only next of kin but have heard nothing. It so disheartens me to read that SS deem it appropriate to get involved only when the dementia patient can't wash (what about WON'T?) or feed themselves. (on what?)

    I'm going to ring Mum's GP tomorrow and at least I can tell her of deteriorations..Do people think I'm going to have to wait for a crisis of some sort? Feeling very miserable and helpless and needed to 'off-load" here. It's so awful to see Mum so evidently not coping, denying it and making things worse.

    Forgot to say about the mysterious knockings she says are occurring on her door at all times of the night. (Apparently 'they' work in shifts) :confused: She had the locks changed (!) and called the police who probably don't know about impairments and hadn't sorted out the keys. Thankfully she's not really leaving the house now.

    Thanks for letting me rant TP


    Aloysius
     
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    Sounds like doctor is your first port of call. I would gerlt daily carer visit and a cleaner and say doc insisted. Its akways easier to blame the doc. Best of luck.
     
  3. Aloysius

    Aloysius Registered User

    Aug 19, 2014
    23
    Thanks, Quilty, I'll try that!
     
  4. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    It worked with my mum. We started with one visit every morning from a carer and a weekly cleaner. I saud doctor told me i had to do it for her health. She quickly got used to it. Its extra eyes watching and reporting back. I know how hard it is so keep your chin up.
     

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