As with alora this is so sad and for me a true reflection on what my mum is going through atm . It is awful visiting i try and visit every fortnight as live away but im thinking i will wait abit longer as mum was so distressed last time and she has no idea who we are . I did ask the nurse to give her some medication to help settle her and she did but they are always reluctant as they say it will make her to sleepy and then she won’t eat . She eats very little now swallow is poor chest often wet. We were called to see her 2 months ago when she aspirated and I really hoped she would slip away but she cleared it and still needs suction at times . It’s living hell as you say a constant nightmare . I pray each day for a phone call to say she is at peace . It’s heartbreaking and beyond cruelMy mother's last 3 years were horrendous and she wasn't considered 'end of life' even when she was!
In that time she was constantly anxious, unhappy, agitated, sometimes aggressive, subject to hallucinations, incontinent and completely bewildered. She wasn't on any meds at all.
I watched her go through this until she acquired a 'slight infection' which was never identified and she died a week later. It has left me severely traumatised. At no time in those last 3 years did she have any quality of life, in fact she was living out her previously expressed worst nightmare.
Did anyone benefit from her being alive for those last 3 years? No. Unless you count the care home share holders - it cost mum £150,000 to pay for the privilege of that dementia life sentence.