1. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    Any ideas please? My Mum has had dementia for very long time - more than 12 years . (I fought the term 'living death' for years but feel there is so much to mourn now - a good day is when when Mum opens her eyes). Ideas wanted as Mum slips down in her chair (at care home) & has even sliipped onto floor! She has osteoporosis so I really worry about this. The staff have tried special non slip material on the chair etc etc nothing seems to workl

    I dont want Mum in a reclined chair as i dont think she would like it - she alwalys like to sit up fairly straight in a chair - but with a curved spine too her head misses the wings of chair & she slumps to one side much of time.

    The home had a very old chair that Mum sank into & she looked as if she really loved that cosy chair - of course it was thrown out when all the smart new furniture arrived with refurbishment of home - now it looks more like a hotel !
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I've found it best not to pre-judge what my wife would or wouldn't like since she has been in the care home.

    Throughout her life she never took sugar in anything, yet now has, like me, two spoons of sugar in a cup of tea. She won't drink tea without the sugar.

    Given osteporosis and a capacity to fall to the floor, why not get a reclining chair in on trial?

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?s=&threadid=239

    My wife too has a very curved spine now and she is 100% safe in the chair.
     
  3. Chris

    Chris Registered User

    May 20, 2003
    243
    Thanks Bruce

    Thanks Bruce for replying - I'm not good at emailing as often seem to give a wrong impression !!! Reading my post it does seem judgemental & maybe it is - but ...... when someone has virtually no power to move any muscles at all - not even facial muscles (so - no smile & much difficulty in moving mouth to fit onto spoon or spout of drinking mug , and rarely makes a noise of any description or rarely opens their eyes - if you dont make some assumtion - based on anything !! - life is at an utter standstill.

    I yearn for anything on which to guide my interaction with Mum - the most I have is slight movements of the fingers & on last visit she actually took my hand & 'threw it away' - back to my lap - I know what she was 'saying' as Mum always did hate a fuss & I was fussing her - its difficult not to she looks so frail & vulnerable & lonely . It must be about 4 years or more that she lost the coordination to kiss ( on the cheek !) - sorry I'm getting morbid.

    I just wanted to say - its really hard not to make a judgement - what else can I do - Mum really doesnt give any indication of how she is feeling unless very happy or very uncomfortable - she always did 'suffer in silence' - I dont think our basic personality changes with dementia - but the same thing with sugar in tea happened to Mum .

    Maybe you are right about the reclining chair - but if she was unhappy I'm not sure she could show it - thats what worries me - also some care homes have told me they use them as 'legal restraints' - when Mum had strength to raise herself from chair she showed a lot of frustration if in a chair that was raised on its legs at the front so that it was beyond her capability - done to stop her walking around as she was vulnerably to falling.
     

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