sleepless night

[grimsby28]

had a no sleep last night spent most of it worrying about mum i think it is because its finale she is in care home trying so hard to come to terms with this but dont suppose it will get any easier dreading going to see her in few days as she will think i am taking her home with me dont know how to explain to her i am not what do i tell her i know she will forget ive been but she will ask me over and over when will she be going home i know ive got to stop beating myself up over this as it best thing for her as i can no longer care for her it is so sad watching some one you love go like this and i no i am not on my own there are lots of us who feel like i do her future scares me as i know she will get to the point of not knowing who i am i just want to give her a big hug and tell her i love her but know she will push me way as she always has she has been brought up not to do that my dad was the one who hugged us when we were young not mum her role was to feed and cloth us nothing more she shyed away from affection and always has so wish my dad was here he would have helped me so much with all this he was a great father always there for us all times like this i need him so sorry to go on

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Grimsby.

There will come a time when your mother will accept and return your hugs, I`m sure. Sadly it will be when her condition has deteriorated even further, but it will happen.

You would not be normal if you weren`t affected by having to resort to a care home. But think how your life has been and try to be a bit more charitable towards yourself.

When she asks when she is going home, if you can, tell her as soon as you can arrange it and the doctors will allow it.

Love xx