Sleepless in Leicester

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by NannyT, Mar 10, 2015.

  1. NannyT

    NannyT Registered User

    Apr 1, 2014
    Leicester England
    Hi this is the first post I have put on TP My Husband is 70 and has Vascular Dementia that is deteriorating by the day, he is virtually bed bound so no respite as in day care as he can't leave the house, he has just spent three weeks in hospital with double pneumonia, and he was discharged on Thursday, he has come home on oxygen that he needs 24/7 and they said they can't do anymore for him as he has Fibrosis of the lungs for witch there is no cure, but since he came home he only takes cat naps of about half an hour day or night but I can't get him to lay down so he falls asleep sat up and falls over on the bed, there is no reasoning with him about anything, he fell asleep for twenty minuets yesterday and was adamant he had been to sleep for hours, I just do not know what to do I am his only Carer though my Daughter helps in the evening for a couple of hours, the biggest problem is he thinks there is nothing wrong with him, and if I mention anything he said or has done he denies it now he can only remember anything he has done for about an hour then it's gone, sorry for carrying on but I feel a bit desperate by now. Thanks for listening
  2. loveahug

    loveahug Registered User

    Nov 28, 2012
    Moved to Leicester
    Oh Nanny, what an awfully lonely place you have reached. There are lots of lovely people here on TP who will be along soon to send you warm loving thoughts and virtual hugs as, goodness me, you do need them!

    On a practical note, has your husband had a care assessment, and have you had a carer's assessment? Have you claimed Attendance Allowance, if so then you should also claim a council tax discount due to your husband's incapacity. For your own sake you will need to ignore any protestations by your husband about involving other people, a little help now means he can stay at home with you much longer so I do urge you to call Social Services to see what help is available. At least the AA will help to pay for a sitter once or twice a week so you can go out, or an overnight stay once in a while so you get some sleep. Do keep us up to date with how you are getting on, there are many experienced voices on here who will come up with ideas and suggestions to help you. You are not alone.

    hugs and best wishes x
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Welcome toTP. So sorry to read your post, Nanny. I'm surprised a care assessment wasn't done before your OH was discharged from hospital. Think you should see your GP and ask for a Social Services assessment if you haven't already had one to see what help can be provided. As loveahug says, apply for Attendance Allowance, it sounds as tho you should qualify for the higher rate, get your Council Tax reduction and contact the Alz Soc so that they can do an assessment too and let you know what help is available in your area. Hope you get some support soon and I'm sure someone will be along on here soon to give you some further advice.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
  4. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Welcome NannyT, it sounds as though you are having a dreadful time, and certainly need some help. If you haven't been referred to Social Services you can phone them yourself and ask for an assessment. Are you in touch with any Carer's support services? They can offer very good information and sometimes practical help. We don't have any Admiral Nurses here in Devon but you might have in your area but if not you can email them for advice.
    You have such a lot to cope with, I'm glad your daughter helps but hope yoou get some more support soon. Love and big hugs, Es
  5. leicester61

    leicester61 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2012
    Hi Nannyt
    im so sorry to hear how it is for you, my husband was diagnosed nearly 3 yrs ago now and he too denys theres anything wrong, or should i say he denys that he is getting worse. TP is the best place to get support, help, love and understanding. ps: im from leicester too.
    Take care xx

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