1. LAP

    LAP Registered User

    Nov 23, 2010
    Tyne & Wear
    I decided to plan a few holidays whilst my husband was able to travel. A week in Yorkshire early in the year, thoroughly enjoyed it. A week in Menorca 3 weeks ago with daughter, son in law and 4 year old. In this holiday, we had 2 apartments and thoroughly enjoyed everything during the day. However, My husband seems to want to go to the bathroom every hour during the night and unfortunately couldn't find it, or was unable to find his way back to the bedroom. Wanted to go home and was quite nasty when I said he was in the apartment for a week. This kind of behaviour had started at home before we came away on holiday.

    All in all, I probably had about 20 hours sleep in the week. Felt quite exhausted on our return.
    This has continued since we came home. I now have had a number of months listening to him wander the bungalow, looking in drawers for whatever he thinks he needs, be it money, glasses, keys or whatever. I now wonder whether going on holiday is more upsetting for him. Should I stop. He seems to thoroughly enjoy being out during the day.
    I already have a holiday booked for 2 weeks in Turkey in October, where I think he will cope better because we have been to this hotel 4 times previously.

    Any advice would be appreciated.
  2. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Hello, I'm sorry that your husband's illness is changing. I am a little concerned about your next holiday ( wrongly I hope). You say that he will be familiar with the place because you've been before, but he is wandering around at home now, looking for things and home is the most familiar place he knows. I would suggest that he has a proper check up at the GP before you go and ask the GP for a prescription for antibiotics in case of a UTI.
  3. geordie

    geordie Registered User

    May 11, 2010
    I would think v carefully about future hols. I tried a couple of times to visit a hotel where we had stayed for over 20 years - the familiarity was totally lost and the behaviour was similar to your husbands. The last hol was very stressful for both of us and I regretted not picking up on the 'warning signs' on previous hol. 'Staycation' is the name of the game now - days out but return to the familiar.
  4. Polly1945

    Polly1945 Registered User

    Oct 24, 2012
    Hello LAP

    I'm sorry that you are experiencing problems. I too found this with my Mum when we took her away for a few days. It totally messed up her mind, she was not happy and during the night was talking loudly (didn't have her hearing aid in) and asking me when she would get paid, bearing in mind that she is 97! :eek: I had slept in the same room with her whilst my husband slept in the next room. It was difficult as I was trying to keep her a bit quiet so as not to wake him up.

    I've taken Mum away a few times now and each time turned out to be a disaster.
    Sometimes I think we are trying so hard to keep them happy and to be able to do normal things, but in many cases we are making the situation for them much worse.

    I would be very concerned about taking my Mum away now, and especially to somewhere miles away such as Turkey. I agree with Cragmaid on this one. It's a long way from home if things go wrong.

    I hope that you will be able to see your GP before making any decisions.

    Thinking of you.

  5. Fhvn

    Fhvn Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    #5 Fhvn, Jun 13, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
    Sorry to read you are going through this, it is another stage I think, not just for the person with dementia, but the carer as well. The times I got tickets or made plans and had to realise that those days were over, it's a hard thing to let go. It may not be for you yet, everyone is different.
    Sadly, we are down to the staycation now as well. Did a couple of holidays in Scotland, just holiday cottages we had stayed at numbers of times. No recollection of ever having been there before. What worried and frightened me more was that on coming home after a few days he refused to believe our house was his home. Didn't recognise the town either. Got a bit nasty about it, that I had moved without telling him, nothing in the house was familiar. Was then saying he would have to go and find somewhere else to live because he couldn't live with me anymore, because I was a lying b***h. By the next day it was forgotten and he was more back to normal, but it took a while to get used to the house again. I just figured the stress wasn't worth the hassle, as we were both upset. Familiar walls are a comfort.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

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