Hi Michael

Mum in Law quite often goes to bed around 7.30-8pm and does not wake until 8am next morning and sometimes till 10am so i do think this is probably part of the illness, maybe there is less going on actively in the brain that normally wakes us up, who knows!

Jan

 

Hello Michael

Yes, I do agree that it may be part of the illness. In my mums case I wondered whether she is busy all day with people around her that when she comes home there is just me, she finds it boring and she seems safe and secure in her own bed and surroundings. My mum tends to go to bed at 6p.m. and then gets up at 7a.m. the next morning. I do try to keep her busy and occupied because at the weekend she seems to always want to go to bed in the early afternoon.

I am going to ask the doctor at her next appointment if he could give me any advice because when I saw Mum's consultant he suggested I ask the Doctor to take a blood sample to see if all was o.k.

Best wishes Jane

 

Hi Michael

Yes, you are right. At this time you certainly know who your friends are. I suppose I am very lucky as my mum has great friends and are always there at the end of the phone and give me support when needed. The girls I work with are also very supportive.

Also, a group of us (3 actually) have mothers in the same position and we are going to try to have 'Tea & Cake' on a Saturday afternoon (every 3 weeks) to give 2 of us a break to go and have a bit of freedom.
I don't know whether this will work as my mum is a bit possessive and seems to need me all the time (I think it comes from leaving her at Day Centres/Nursing Home when I am at work) - but it is worth a try!

Hope you have a wonderful holiday Jane

 

Hi Jane w
it's not only friends that vanish ,its also close family.
The consolation is that the friends and family that you have left are true friends.
I don't contribute to the theory that some people can't handle it (AD ) if they loved the person before, their love should survive.
Norman

 

Friends and family......

Hi Norman
I'll second that - it is hard to understand how friends can walk away but harder to understand when family do But.......
That's life i suppose and there aint a damn thing we can do.
Take care Norman & Thanks for your support it really does mean a lot.
Danni x

 

Hi Norman and Danni

100% agree.

It is like sifting through ones family and friends, when one of your family has dementia. The ones not worth anything just walk away, the ones who are true friends and family stick by.

The surprising thing is when you discover which ones fit into which category. Jan's family walked, mine [even though split by divorce long ago] stuck by; some of Jan's close friends walked, some who were a real surprise, stuck by. Some people at my work, just thought of as colleagues, became true friends.

Motto: the gold ain't always where you are looking for it!

 

Hi Norman, Danni and Brucie,
How right you are, and how precious those people become who manage to join us on our weird and wonderful journey. Sometimes, just knowing that they are there helps me to keep going.
However, I also have an additional little theory or two, especially for family members who keep their distance: they may feel inadequate in the face of those who put in so much (time and effort) and "manage so well", that they don't quite realise how much of a difference their own, additional, if less frequent, input would make. They may also feel a touch jealous when they sense the closeness between those who are involved on a daily basis with a person with AD. I am convinced that it is the daily, or at least very frequent/regular contact that makes communication and assistance easier. It takes a lot of practice to make the person with AD feel included, valued, important, to brush off their 'mistakes' and to go with the flow.
All our lives would be so much easier if we could live in 'their' world, rather than trying to force them to fit into our scheme of things ...... (What's wrong with wearing a jumper back-to-front, carrying a toothbrush in your coat pocket because you like its colour, or eating your sandwich with a spoon?). If I am very honest I'd have to say that if it wasn't for the last few years of my life as a carer, I might not be quite so tolerant either.

Kathy Rhodes wrote a poem 'To a Mongol Child', which partly fits our lives, too:

"And as he grew, we never grieved
To see how little he achieved,
No praise he'd lose.
His progress made in life's tough school
We measured with a shorter rule
Than scholars use.

I can't believe he owed his day
To some genetic disarray
Wrongly conceived.
He came into this world, and there
He lived to teach us how to care.
This he achieved".

If we can learn to care, we benefit as much as the person we care for!

 

Sleeping Patterns

Hello
My mother has Alzheimers and is on Aricept 10mg. She also seems to have a very disturbed sleep pattern, wakes during the night and then wakes early morning. She then seems tired during the day, so naps a lot which makes the cycle worse.

Our consultant says sleep is not affected by the drugs, but I am not convinced by this.

As my mum lives alone at the moment, and won't go to a day centre, it is hard to know how to stop her sleeping during the day.

 

Roz
I don't think sleep is affected by the drugs,my wife is on 10 mg Aricept.
There is no pattern to her sleeping,some good nights ,some bad,and does not often sleep in the day,
This is after 7 years.
Only my opinion
Regards
Norman

 

aricept

hi
My husband was on aricept 10mg , he did not sleep very well and my consultant said that some patients find their sleep pattern is disturbed so he said to change it to the morning , i did and his sleep got better, i just wished i had known this and i would have changed to mornings earlier but you just plug on hoping things will improve before you say anything.
lin

 

hi .my JIMwas on aricept for 4 years and never had trouble sleeping ,he always took it at morning ,with every other medication.and i will keep repeating ,keep them on this medication as long as possible ,as the more i hear of people being taken off it ,the more i hear of the rapid deterioration,ANGELA

 

Liviing in France

Hello
I was given your details by the administrator as you appear to be the only person living in France registered on this site. Would you be willing to discuss the medical cover and support you receive in France? You see I live in Normandy and my parents live in Berkshire. Mum has recently been diagnosed with alzheimers and Dad is finding it diffculte coping as he is not very moble now. I would like them to come over to live near me, I am an only child, but am afriad she will not receive the support she will need. Any comments would be very much appreciated
Linda

 

Hi Linda

...just to clarify: I'm just a carer, like yourself, not an administrator. I do help with hosting the forum, but while I may do a wee bit of admin here, I hold no post of administrator.

I remembered this thread from a while ago and thus recommended it to you.

Best regards

 

Sleeping problems

My father has only slept for 2 hours a night for the last 3 weeks. This is usually between 9 & 11 PM. Then he wakes my mother every half hour or so until its a decent time to get up. He keeps saying he will die if somebody doesnt feed him. My mother is now very tired and stressed. She is 76 yrs old. My father is 75 yrs old. We have tried many things and wondered if anyone could come up with some more suggestions please.

 

Hi Myrte
welcome to talking Point
Have you spoken to the GP?
He/She may be able to advise with Social Services and the services of sitters.
Crossroads also provide sitters and if mum had a sitter she could at least get some sleep.
Have a lookat the fact sheet:
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_for_someone_with_dementia/Coping_with_caring/info_yourself.htm.
Try to have a word with the Gp they really are the first step to obtain help.
Norman

 

Hi Myrtle

I had very similar problems with dad not sleeping when I cared for him. In the end that was one of the main reasons for him going into residential care. He wanted to go to bed earlier and earlier - 5 or 6 pm sometimes, couldn't dissuade him. He would sleep a couple of hours and then get up. Would continue like that throughout the night, getting dressed each time and trying to leave the house. I have to say the medication the GP prescribed was absolutely no use at all. Suggest trying to get a psychiatric referral. A CPN (community psychiatric nurse) might be able to adapt medication in consultaton with consultant to improve things. It's strange but some people with dementia seem to sleep a lot, others, probably in the minority, sleep hardly at all. The latter becomes so stressful for carers to deal with because it's so impossible to cope when your own sleep is so disturbed. Perhaps asking for your dad to have some temporary respite care in a home every few weeks would help your mum? Your mum is entitled to a carer's assessment of her needs from social services. After all her health is just as important as your dad's and this must be a huge strain on her.

Thinking of you
Blue sea