1. rachels3185

    rachels3185 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2007
    7
    East Yorkshire
    :confused: Hi all, wondered if anyone has encountered the problem mum seems to be having with dad at the moment? Firstly he is wanting to go to bed about 7.30pm and then is totally restless and is all over the bed, diaganolly, horizontal and will not settle, mum seems to think that it's because he needs the loo but it seems that there is something stopping him. Because he's going to bed alot earlier it's not following his usual routine. Once mum persuades him to go too the loo (which can take hours) he does settle. I'm worried for mum, as this is tiring her out and dad will give her some very strange looks if she doesn't to bed when suits him, mum is sticking to her routine at the moment as much as she can, but with dad's constant restlessness it is disturbing mum's sleep. Dad will sleep for most of the day, but obviously mum doesn't. I wondered it single beds might be a solution to the lack of spacial awareness that dad has, he will only have one option to go to bed in a certain direction - can anyone offer any advice on this.

    Mum - if your reading this, we'll get you posting threads before you know it - now your getting to be an expert !!:D
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hello Rachel - welcome to Talking Point.

    Sleep - too much or lack of, or changes in timing - is something that comes up regularly here.

    Time shifting is something that can happen - the person sleeps during the day, and can't sleep at night.

    It may seem to the person that when the sun goes down, then it is time for bed - clearly worse in winter than at other times. The light or waning of the light can also cause sundowning - restlessness and often the need to go 'home' [somewhere where they feel safe].

    I think the way to go is to simply try things.

    If a single bed works then go with it. However, if he sleeps well in that bed but at abnormal hours, then he will be rising when Mum wants to sleep, so really it is best to try and sort the sleep patterns.

    I'm sure there will be other members who will contribute to your thread.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,665
    Kent
    Hello Rachel,

    I`ve read this on TP before, about someone sleeping across the bed and having irregular sleeping patterns. I`ll try to find it for you, although I don`t think any solution was reached.

    I think the advice given was to ask the GP for a mild sleeping tablet on a short term basis, to see if a more regular pattern could be established.

    Single beds might work, but if your father sleeps across the bed, he might fall out of a narrower bed.

    I think it`s to do with poor mobility and stiffening up. It is this with my husband anyway. He is very unsteady on his feet, has problems bending and getting up from the chair.

    When he gets into bed he is unable to `swing` his legs into the bed, so his feet hang over the edge. Once in bed he tries to `shuffle` towards the middle, and only then can he work his legs under the quilt. It`s a mighty effort. ;) Is this what happens with your father.

    I do feel for your mother for at least, once my husband is settled I get a good night`s sleep, [most nights anyway].

    To Rachel`s mother
    If you do read this, please start posting. There is so much support here for you and I`m sure it will make a big difference to your life.

    Love xx
     
  4. rachels3185

    rachels3185 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2007
    7
    East Yorkshire
    sleep

    Hi granni g / brucie - think you'll find that I've posted a similar question before, thanks for your help. I'm sure it wont be long before I get mum posting threads - I know she reads most of them and I think she finds it a form of comfort to know that there is support out there
     
  5. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Bruce's post about sleep patterns and daylight hours are very sound. I had the same problems and know that the information helped me to understand. I also think that spatial awareness problems plus difficulties in moving himself around may be at the root of dad's lying horizontally across the bed.

    Sleep deprevation and lack of quality 'resting' time in the evenings are a major problem for many people. Does your mum get any home help support? If not do you think that you will be able to start the ball rolling in this area? I found that the only way I could cope was by having a rest when the carer came in three mornings a week to help with Ken. I stayed in bed and slept whilst the carer looked after Ken's needs for a few hours.
    xxRTinaT
     
  6. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    Dad had been sleeping all day virtually at one point. I remember Mum used to tell me he was like a cat.

    Then, in January he started wanting to stay up late telling me he would go out for a walk all night as he couldn't sleep.

    Of course, the thought of him getting up in the night and going off for a walk scared me senseless. I took him to the GP and asked for mild sleeping tablet as I was worried. My GP is great and totally understood and gave him a mild one (I asked for nothing strong that would increase confusion etc.)

    Dad settled into sleeping well and now I have weaned him back off them.

    Best of luck.

    Beverley
     
  7. maureen5538

    maureen5538 Registered User

    Nov 11, 2007
    1
    east yorkshire
    hello rach, i've managed to get this far - are you impressed
     
  8. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Maureen!

    Well done..and welcome..:)

    Rachel will be proud of you...

    Love Gigi x
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,665
    Kent
    Hello Maureen, I`m so pleased to see you`ve got here. Now you can only go from strength to strength.
    Love xx
     

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