• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

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Six weeks absence.

janjan

Registered User
Jan 27, 2006
229
59
Birmingham
Well its been six weeks since seeing dad, can't believe it really.
I've been off work ill for this long, and haven't had the strength, physically or mentally to go to see him.
I have never not seen him for longer than two weeks in my entire life, so if has been difficult for me.
The first three weeks i couldn't walk, and the last three weeks have been spent getting stronger gradually every day.
But knowing that he doesn't know who i am now, at least helped me to know he wouldn't be wondering where i was.
I'm just wondering what I'm going to find different after so long a time with dad.
Will he recognize a face he hasn't seen for so long, even if he thinks i am a carer in the home. If he cries when he sees me, then I'll know in his mind he can see i am connected to him more than just a carer, and even though i know he hasn't been wondering where i have been, at lest i know i haven't been entirely lost to him, if you understand me. :confused:
 

gill@anchorage5

Registered User
Apr 29, 2007
211
Southampton
Good Luck

Hello JanJan

Glad to hear that you are "on the mend" and good luck with the visit to your Dad

If you are anything like me - you will go in "anticipating the worst" (human nature I guess!) then anything better than that is a bonus.

Thinking of you.

Love

Gill x
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Hi Jan Jan
Sorry to hear that you have been so unwell and for such a long period. I do hope that your health keeps improving. Maybe, no need to worry about the time factor as time doesn't seem to register with dementia sufferers. I know with my mum I see her every second day, well, when my daughter goes to see her, mum says, she hasn't seen anyone since she moved there. I think as long as we know who they are, then that's all that matters. I hope your visit goes well. Take Care of Yourself. Taffy.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Janjan

I'm sorry to hear you've been ill, I wondered where you were!

Please don't worry about visiting your dad. As`Taffy says, I'm sure your dad won't realise how long it's been.

I don't know if he'll recognise you or not, but he'll know you love him, and that's what's important. Just go in with a huge smile and give him a hug. I'm sur it will be OK.

Let us know how it goes, and I hope you'll be back with us soon.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,406
Kent
I didn`t realize it`s been 6 weeks for you Jan. I`m so pleased you are beginning to recover.

That you haven`t seen your dad for so long was from necessity rather than choice, but hopefully it won`t have registered with him.

I hope the visit goes better than expected. You are bound to be nervous.


Love xx
 

janjan

Registered User
Jan 27, 2006
229
59
Birmingham
Thanks for your good wishes, recovery is slow but at least I'm on the move again.
Dad was in the day room when i got there, so i took a big breath and walked in as if it was yesterday i last went to see him, punching the guilt monkey on my
shoulder on the way through the door.
Well i said hello to them all, as i used too. Well he looked at me and cried.
So even though mom said he hadn't asked where i was for the last six weeks, he recognized i somehow looked familiar enough to spark a memory for him.
Well i wiped our eyes, and i made us a nice cup of tea before dinner.
He looked thinner than last i saw him, but it was so nice to be able to see him after such a long time. :D Janet.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
janjan said:
but it was so nice to be able to see him after such a long time. :D Janet.
So glad the visit wasn't as bad as you feared, Jan. Well done!

Make sure you get properly well now, and enjoy your visits.

Love,
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
Hi Jan

Sorry to hear you've been ill, i'm pleased to see your back on your feet again.

I'm also very pleased to hear your visit went well, i'm sure your Dad would have been really pleased to see you, even though he won't have remembered how long it has been, he remembered you enough to wake his emotions and thats the important bit.

Love Alex x
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
I'm so glad the visit went well - it is so very difficult when you haven't seen them for a while. I'm dreading my visit to be honest: I have been told by several carers that they have noticed a change in my mum even when they've only been on holiday for a week, so what's it going to be like after 4 months?

Jennifer