Sitter service suggestions please

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Harbour, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. Harbour

    Harbour New member

    Jun 4, 2019
    3
    Hi, Just joined this group to help support my cousin who is full time carer for her husband who has dementia with Lewy body. She is the most caring person I have ever known but I know her husband’s condition is exceptionally trying for her as she copes alone. Can anyone tell me if there is such a thing as a sitting service? Someone who can go to their home and sit with him so she can just have a few hours away. He flatly refuses to go to a day care centre and she doesn’t want him put into care. I do hope someone can help. Thank you
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,825
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to Talking Point, @Harbour. We got the sitting service, or befriending scheme, set up by social services after a care needs review for my partner and a carers assessment for me. The lady usually does stay in the house, but in summer when C is feeling fitter they go out to a local café too. Ask your local authority social care dept for the care assessments and explain the situation. It does take a month or two admittedly, but that's the best way to go.
     
  3. placey

    placey Registered User

    Sep 3, 2012
    51
    Yes, Harbour, my mother in law lives at home, cared for by her daughter, and has carers who come into her home two afternoons a week. I also researched overnight care and we pay for two nights a week when somebody stays in the house so my sister in law can have a good night's sleep twice a week. Social services gave us information and a leaflet with care organisations in. Family and friends help but the sitter service is invaluable.
     
  4. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    979
    The care agency my mother-in-law used also provided a sitting service as well as overnight stays. She also had a befriending service from Royal Voluntary service although there was a waiting list for that
     
  5. Ohso

    Ohso Registered User

    Jan 4, 2018
    148
    Hi, that sounds like a great idea. I cope so much better with a good nights sleep.
    Would you mind giving some idea of costs for overnight carers. Ive been thinking about it for when l need to go away overnight for business or even on holiday.
     
  6. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    979
    The agency my mother-in-law had charged £200 for a non waking night
     
  7. RosettaT

    RosettaT Registered User

    Sep 9, 2018
    235
    Female
    Mid Lincs
    I enquired this of hubbys care company only last week. They charge £220 per night but if woken more than twice it's an extra £158.
     
  8. Ohso

    Ohso Registered User

    Jan 4, 2018
    148
    Thank you..something to think about.
     
  9. Harbour

    Harbour New member

    Jun 4, 2019
    3
    Thank you all so much for your comments. It is very heartening to know my cousin may be able to get some help. I will pass on all of this information but regrettably there is no way she can afford such a large sum for any overnight care. Thank you once again for your comments and also to the moderator who helped me with this post. Kindest regards x
     
  10. placey

    placey Registered User

    Sep 3, 2012
    51
    We get charged £168 for a waking night. If your cousin's husband sleeps well, you can pay less for a carer to sleep in the house. MIL wakes quite often so it wouldn't suit. SIL has also found a private carer who lives nearby and charges less - but she lives in a village where folk know one another.
    I agree, it is a lot to pay, and the agency we spoke to prefer a regular arrangement.
    Placey
     
  11. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,359
    Someone suggested to me I should think about a sitter service, someone to come in and watch a film with my husband for instance. The cost is prohibitive and that is one of the most positive things we can do together.
    What would help most? Someone to say, ahead of time I will bring lunch, to take my husband for a walk, to ask how I am and mean it.
    We did have a sweet person as a volunteer visitor but it was hard work in some ways. She was fragile.
    She even wore a badge with volunteer on it:).
    It would be good for someone just to say I will arrange a trip out, sometimes as a Carer I am tired by the constant organising for two. Bring plants but offer to plant them! Call in for a chat. Offer a lift,
    Every little detail from transport to doing supper when back tired out by constant monitoring single handed.
    Problem is the cost even of volunteers adds up. Few services are free. Charities make a charge.
     
  12. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    666
    Male
    Kent
    Hi @Harbour

    It's very thoughtful of you to try and help your cousin, which I am sure she will appreciate.

    Here in East Kent, we have a few carer support organisations, one of which has been extremely helpful, especially in the early stages, following my wife's diagnosis back in 2014. They offer a dementia visitor service of 3 hours a week. We had to go on the waiting list, which took around 9 months, but for the last 3+ years, a lovely lady has been sitting with my wife from 13:30 to 16:30 every Monday. This service is free (they are a charitable based organisation), so I make an annual donation, to help them continue their great work.

    If you haven't already done so, try searching online for dementia support in your cousin's area. Even if her husband is reluctant to go to day care etc, support groups are often great places to start exploring what help is available. I managed to get my wife to go to a local dementia coffee morning. Though she didn't get much from it, I gleaned a huge amount of information, just talking to other carers, including information leaflets from various organisations.

    I hope your cousin gets on okay.

    Best wishes.
    Phil
     
  13. RosettaT

    RosettaT Registered User

    Sep 9, 2018
    235
    Female
    Mid Lincs
    I've looked into sitters but can't find any in my area. Even one off the large national organisations who have my area in their title don't cover it for care in the home!.
     
  14. Harbour

    Harbour New member

    Jun 4, 2019
    3
    Thank you again for all your replies. I will make sure my cousin knows all the options which you suggest. Kindest regards
     

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