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sister wants to move in with mother

bob stanbridge

New member
Feb 27, 2020
1
i am poa for my mother who has dementia and for both health and financial matters and am also her registered carer.My younger sister has announced that she and her son with learning difficulties want to move in with mother for three days a week only as this will not affect their or mothers benefits However she does not cook or do housework and has persuaded mother that they should eat takeaways on the three days.She of course wants mother to pay for it.Before i had power of attorney my sister used to come over and either steal or persuade mother to give her money.I know her aim is to take over mothers finances for her own gain and mother is so naive. Im at my wits end any advice would be much appreciated.Beryl UK
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,276
N Ireland
Hello and welcome to the forum. I hope you find this to be a friendly and supportive place.

I don't have an answer to your problem but I know that many members have issues with siblings so I'm sure you will get some first hand advice.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,137
As others have said, if you are using your POA your sister should not be able to access your mother's money.

How able is your mother? Does she do her own shopping, does she still have a bank card that she's able to use? If so, I'd remove it and make other arrangements for paying for bills/shopping. If you provide her with cash, you can control how much she has.

If your sister doesn't cook or do housework, will she provide any help to your mother other than just company?
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
661
High Peak
TBH, I'd just say no to this. You are your mum's registered carer and POA, so unless your sister being there is going to help YOU and give YOU a break, I can't see the point. (And it could lead to all sorts of problems and arguments.)
 

warbaby1939

New member
Sep 22, 2019
2
i am poa for my mother who has dementia and for both health and financial matters and am also her registered carer.My younger sister has announced that she and her son with learning difficulties want to move in with mother for three days a week only as this will not affect their or mothers benefits However she does not cook or do housework and has persuaded mother that they should eat takeaways on the three days.She of course wants mother to pay for it.Before i had power of attorney my sister used to come over and either steal or persuade mother to give her money.I know her aim is to take over mothers finances for her own gain and mother is so naive. Im at my wits end any advice would be much appreciated.Beryl UK
 

warbaby1939

New member
Sep 22, 2019
2
Hi Bob, Sorry to hear of your difficult circumstances. If you allow your sister to take over your mother and yourself will suffer, my advice is to set up visiting day care for mother and watch here affairs like a hawk. Don't ever be afraid to let mother go into residential care, she will be cared for and also have company and mental stimulation.
Good Luck, you will find light at the end of the tunnel.