My sister took my mum 94 to live with her & her husband last year as she could not bear to think about putting mum in to a care home. This was a brave thing to do and I did have long talk to my sister about how difficult it would be looking after mam as her dementia increased. My sister is now not coping. Mum is very confused she spends her time walking to and from her bed room wanting to be in bed but no sooner as she lies down she is up looking for my sister. Mum get so freighted when my sister is not there Mum follows my sister around the house. My sister never goes out she can't leave mum with her husband as he cant do mums toiletry needs. My sister is not coping. Mum is 24 hr care. Mum can't communicate very well and need help with all aspects of daily living. It is heart breaking to watch this awful illness take over my strong proud mum.
What is happening now is both my sister and brother in law are shouting at mum. I know it's not easy and must be very frustrating for all of them. Mum is now crying a lot which is also very upsetting. On my last visit I had a long talks with both my sister and brother in law I managed to get my sister to visit a number of care home and we decided on nice home. However my sister still felt she could not put my in a home. Both my sister and her husband feel that mum will be left in a corner and will deteriorate quickly.
Tonight I rang my sister and she was very stressed saying she had had a awful day she had taken mum out with her to do her shopping and it had all gone wrong with mum screaming she wanted to go home. While I was I talking to my sister mum came in to the room and all of a sudden my sister was shouting at her then I could hear mum sobbing It was horrid. When my sister got back on the phone I told her she should not shout and she said mum was going to sit in the arm of a chair and almost fell. I have had word with my brother in law about how they tell mum off and he told me that they were the ones coping with mum 24/7. I totally understand that this is not easy but the shouting can only make mum more frightened.
My sister loves my mum dearly but this can not be right.
My sister needs a break. I have tried to get her to take mum to a day centre but she always says she is going to do it but then never does. We now have social worker but thing seem to take so long and there are so many forms to fill in. I have recently been granted deptyship from the COP for mums finances so take this on help my sister. I fill in all the forms and try to organise as much as I can. I don't live near my sister and work with a teenage family to care for.
I did get my sister to take to the local Alzheimers society but she never seems to follow up on any of their advise. Both my sister & husband are very cross that they are not getting help but at the same time they don't seem to want to take get advise or pursue what is available. My sister is type 1 diabetic and also has a terrible memory she forgets what's people are telling her.
I love my sister very much and I know she is doing her best but I just feel that the situation is getting worse. I do not know what to do. The only support I can give her is on the phone. I do ring every day so she can use me for sounding off. I try to visit every six weeks to help. But I now dead these visit and come away so upset. Tonight I can't sleep as I am so worried. I don't know what to do.........
What is happening now is both my sister and brother in law are shouting at mum. I know it's not easy and must be very frustrating for all of them. Mum is now crying a lot which is also very upsetting. On my last visit I had a long talks with both my sister and brother in law I managed to get my sister to visit a number of care home and we decided on nice home. However my sister still felt she could not put my in a home. Both my sister and her husband feel that mum will be left in a corner and will deteriorate quickly.
Tonight I rang my sister and she was very stressed saying she had had a awful day she had taken mum out with her to do her shopping and it had all gone wrong with mum screaming she wanted to go home. While I was I talking to my sister mum came in to the room and all of a sudden my sister was shouting at her then I could hear mum sobbing It was horrid. When my sister got back on the phone I told her she should not shout and she said mum was going to sit in the arm of a chair and almost fell. I have had word with my brother in law about how they tell mum off and he told me that they were the ones coping with mum 24/7. I totally understand that this is not easy but the shouting can only make mum more frightened.
My sister loves my mum dearly but this can not be right.
My sister needs a break. I have tried to get her to take mum to a day centre but she always says she is going to do it but then never does. We now have social worker but thing seem to take so long and there are so many forms to fill in. I have recently been granted deptyship from the COP for mums finances so take this on help my sister. I fill in all the forms and try to organise as much as I can. I don't live near my sister and work with a teenage family to care for.
I did get my sister to take to the local Alzheimers society but she never seems to follow up on any of their advise. Both my sister & husband are very cross that they are not getting help but at the same time they don't seem to want to take get advise or pursue what is available. My sister is type 1 diabetic and also has a terrible memory she forgets what's people are telling her.
I love my sister very much and I know she is doing her best but I just feel that the situation is getting worse. I do not know what to do. The only support I can give her is on the phone. I do ring every day so she can use me for sounding off. I try to visit every six weeks to help. But I now dead these visit and come away so upset. Tonight I can't sleep as I am so worried. I don't know what to do.........