1. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    My mum has been in a nursing home for nearly 4 months now. She was in a care home for a year where she broke her hip and then in hospital for 8 weeks. We looked at about 6 or 7 nursing homes. We liked the first one we saw and the social worker had told us there were vacancies. When we visited we were told there were about 12 people on the waiting list so were very disappointed. We subsequently found out that we could get a place in there if my mum was prepared to share a room, with a view to moving into a single room when one became available. We were very dubious about this but went ahead as it seemed to be the best nursing home.

    The room share didn't intiially appear to be a problem until the nursing home said that mum and her room mate were arguing at night and asked if they could move my mum into another shared room with someone else. We refused to do this as my mum didn't seem upset by this arguing so we wondered what was behind the request. We told the nursing home that we didn't want to move my mum to another shared room and then unsettle her again when a single room became available. Also, the lady in the other shared room, who was a very nice lady, had recently been released from hospital and was very agitated and restless. Nothing more was said about the matter. I am sure single rooms must have become available because, sadly, there have been several deaths over the last few months. However, we were never offered a single room and didn't pursue it.

    This evening I received a telephone call asking for my consent for my mum to be moved to a single room! Her room mate's sister is moving in and, naturally, they want to share. However, her room mate doesn't want to move rooms, even though there is another double room available. We didn't have to agree and if we hadn't her room mate would have had to move. That would have meant that my mum would have been alone in a double room. However, the other bed would have been needed at some time and we had no way of knowing who she would have ended up sharing with.

    I went to the home tonight and saw the room. It was very nice with a garden view so have agreed. The only worry is that my sister went to see my mum earlier and said she seemed very agitated. I found her the same tonight, even though my sister had not long left. She was very shaky, which I though was due to her Parkinson's disease, but I noticed when she'd calmed down later that she had hardly any tremor at all. I hope the move isn't going to be too hard on her, even though she's only moving down the hall.

    The amusing thing is that my mum's soon to be ex room mate is telling the other residents that her sister is coming to stay tomorrow and the other residents seem to think it is a manifestation of her dementia (not their words, what they said was more like 'well, I'm not sure about that, let's hope she's not disappointed'.)

    I seem to have rambled on for ages about nothing much at all. Next time I go shopping I must get a life :D
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    You can ramble all you like. Sometimes it just helps to put it all down on paper.

    On the face of it, I think you have made the right decision. Of course you will be worried about the effect on mum, that is what we do 'worry'.

    Incidently, and only if they are 2 for the price of 1, can you get me a life too.

    Much love,
     
  3. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I'll put that on my list :D If we play our cards right we might even get reward points :eek:
     
  4. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006
    181
    leicestershire
    Hi NP


    How's it going with the room? Any kind of change is always difficult. I know when we opted for the home my dad is in, we took the only room they had (It's a good home and we didn't want to lose the possibility of a place there) with the option of moving him to a more modern room when one became available. The thing is, now one has, we have decided to leave him in the room he's in. He knows the way along the corridor to his room and recognises the view (albeit over a dismal back yard) from the window. So, we decided to leave him in that room

    I personally would prefer the more modern room, but en suite facilities and a neutral decor float my boat. Dad doesn't care two hoots about flowery carpets and pink wallpapaer borders !
    I guess you just have to do what's best for them, don't you.

    Jarnee

    ;)
     
  5. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    My mum generally only spends time in her room if she has visitors or when she goes to bed. The staff moved her belongings in today so tonight will be her first night in the new room. Unfortunately, the move seems to have coincided with her going through a very unsettled phase. She was very agitated indeed yesterday and that can't have been anything to do with the move as she didn't know anything about it at the time.

    I went to see her tonight and sat in the new room with her for a while. I couldn't make much sense of what she was saying but the one thing that came through loud and clear and was reiterated several times was 'I'm going to ask them if I can go home tomorrow' :eek:

    I hate these unsettled times as I'm never sure what to do for the best. I sometimes feel that if I leave her alone for a few days she will settle better but then if I don't go I worry and feel guilty.

    There is a TV in her new room but after I switched it on and sat on her bed I realised I had turned the mattress off. That could have made for a very uncomfortable night as I realised for the first time that those mattresses consist mostly of air :eek:
     
  6. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006
    181
    leicestershire
    I completely agree with the shall I - shan't I ??!! go dilemma. I always end up going. Mind you, unbeknown to me, my husband visited dad today at about 4pm ( "Why? when you knew I was going at 6 o'clock" I asked, "Well I won't see your dad tomorrow cos we're away, so I thought I'd go today" ....how lucky am I ??!!)
    Anyway. Dad had no idea my husband had been, so I can now only assume that 5 mins after I've left, he has no idea I've been either :(

    Still, it won't make a difference. I'll continue to go....I know he enjoys it while I'm there and that's what matters

    Jarnee
    PS....how on earth do you switch a mattress off ??????:confused: :confused:
     
  7. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Noelphobic,
    Go with the flow. As you say, mum was feeling unsettled before the room change, so it's not that. What if you didn't go for a day, but phoned the home to see how mum was; have you discussed with the manager what they think?
    Try not to get too anxious, because I am sure that we at times pass on our anxiety - oh goodness, something else we can feel guilty about!
    Love Amy
     
  8. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    When she was in a care home they just had normal mattresses but now she is in a nursing home they have special mattresses which are plugged into the mains and, as I discovered yesterday, consist mainly of air! Some of the residents stay in bed most of the time so I think it is supposed to reduce the likelihood of pressure sores. There's probably a special name for these mattresses but I'm not sure what it is.
     
  9. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    When we were discussing the room change I mentioned to the assistant manager that my mum seemed very agitated. I don't think she spends much time with the residents so probably wouldn't have much idea of what my mum was normally like to know the difference. My sister had already mentioned it when she'd been that afternoon.

    I never get a chance to talk to the manager because she only seems to be there when there's a photo opportunity for the local press. Also, because I work full time I visit mainly at evenings and weekends and maybe she is there more in office hours. She is responsible for 2 homes,both on the same site and think she is spending a lot of time there at the moment.
     

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