1. Del24

    Del24 Registered User

    Aug 17, 2014
    67
    Hertfordshire
    I take my wife out daily in her wheelchair around the shops and if she is happy she sings while we walk around the shopping centre.
    She does not sing a song as such just a la la la tune that she remembers.
    It is the attitude of the public that surprises me some turn and a look of horror is written across their faces or shock although a minority do smile and even talk to her.
    Has anyone else had this problem.
     
  2. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    My husband does this all the time and he makes the words up as he goes along, some people look surprised especially in waiting rooms or when I push him in his wheelchair when we go for walks but I have never really thought of it as a problem, It sounds as though she is happy and it is the problem of the people who look in horror not yours, there is nothing you can do really so don't worry about it ,
     
  3. Katrine

    Katrine Registered User

    Jan 20, 2011
    2,856
    England
    #3 Katrine, Jan 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2015
    Ignore the ones who stare or scuttle away. They are just frightened of strange behaviour. It's a natural instinct. We have to learn to be comfortable with other people doing unusual things. The instinctive reaction is to find it threatening. It's not rational.

    I hope you don't find this too flippant, but you reminded me of when I first saw someone using a modern type of mobile phone (not the clunky brick type but one that you couldn't actually see). When someone walks towards you with a hand over their ear, carrying on an animated conversation with someone who isn't there, you tend to swerve away. This happened to me 3 times in one day until I realised what they were doing. :eek: That's an example of how an instinctive reaction to perceived threat can be removed by gaining greater understanding.

    However, I don't think you need to bother about educating strangers in the street. Just enjoy the chats with the friendly ones. Smiles are good. Smiling at a stranger who looks shocked might reassure them, if you think it's worth it. Your wife won't notice their reaction. I'm glad to hear that she enjoys your shopping trips. She wouldn't sing if she was not content. :)
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,696
    Female
    Dundee
    I agree totally. Music can be such an important part of the life of someone with dementia. I know it is a very important part of my husband's life. He doesn't sing all of the time like your wife but he will sing at the drop of a hat. When he refuses to get out of the car it's me kneeling down beside him in the street singing something like 'She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes'! I'm sure I must have had weird looks but I don't care!:D
     
  5. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    My husband sings or hums doesn't remember the words, sometimes people stand and stare, l say my husband isn't drunk he just has Alzheimers, then they feel embarrased, l tell them don't worry its not catching, happy days ♡♡♡
     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,696
    Female
    Dundee
    I like it!!:D
     
  7. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Thank you Izzy its nice to have some humour sometimes ♡♡♡
     
  8. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    I like it too!

    I would be so happy if my mam was singing - just ignore the people who look shocked and rejoice that your wife is happy, so you are obviously taking very good care of her. Pat on the back for you, Del24 :).
     
  9. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    Music

    I've been looking at an American site similar to this but newly started. It was recommended by my American friend. The site is called "Dementia Heroes" and they have a discussion group talking about music and dementia. One of the ladies is a nurse in a care home and she recently did a little experiment playing music to the residents for about 20 minutes BEFoRE eating. Everyone ate willingly and usually more! I think music is very important to people with the disease, and what a pleasant medicine!!
     
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,696
    Female
    Dundee
  11. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,481
    Female
    London
    I think this is why the Alzheimer's Society have their Singing for the Brain sessions!
     
  12. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    You could always wear a T Shirt saying " I'm with Happy"....:D:D
    Tell her from me, my sister sings all the time, well hums and lalas.... and she can't even claim an excuse;);)

    My Mum, blind, CH and all the sadness that Dementia brings, lay in her bed singing the songs from The Sound of Music last week........I cried.:rolleyes::D
    Sing out Sister:D:D:D:D:D
     
  13. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    Yes and they are very valuable but how many care homes do it, and how many of us use it in our own situations???? I don't think up till recently or perhaps not even yet, has training placed much importance on the use of music.
     
  14. Anongirl

    Anongirl Registered User

    Aug 8, 2012
    2,675
    My mum used to sit up in bed and softly hum a little tune to herself. It was quite lovely, made me smile! She's in a care home now so I'm not sure if this still happens.

    She still loves music, they have a singer who comes to the CH each month to entertain all the ladies and it's very popular. There is a lady of 101 who likes to stand up with her Zimmer frame, there's a photo of her in the hallway of the home!

    Music seems great therapy and it's amazing how mum remembers lyrics!

    Let your wife sing, nobody else matters :) xxx
     
  15. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
  16. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,696
    Female
    Dundee
    I know. I've watched it so often! There's another one with a lady. I'll try to find it.
     
  17. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,696
    Female
    Dundee
    This is it.

    http://youtu.be/CrZXz10FcVM
     
  18. Anongirl

    Anongirl Registered User

    Aug 8, 2012
    2,675
    Gosh Izzy that made me smile and cry at the same time! I suddenly want to be with my mum :(

    Thanks for sharing that xx
     
  19. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Wow, Izzy. Thanks for posting these.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.