During the winter, my mum really deteriorated and I was told was at End of Life.I was allowed in to visit thankfully, and felt close to her and was able to accept what was happening. Then followed a period of several months where she stabilised, I wasn't allowed to visit, she was unable to do window visits. The thing is that I feel unwilling to reconnect in the way that I had been doing for the last 12 years. It's as if I've given up on her, my mental health improved so much once I had permission to disconnect. I'm going once a fortnight. It's so much harder now we have 20 minutes and I'm sat across a big table in PPE, gloves ,apron and mask. I can't do her nails or put my arms around her. She can't converse, and sits looking so sad and lost, asking if we can "go out there", ie in to the day rooms. I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing this?