1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. francis1306

    francis1306 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    Hi, Am looking for general advice regarding the making of a will.

    A little information to assist. My Mother, who is in the early stages of Alzheimers, has already made plans for her funeral and opted for a pre-paid funeral. My Mother is 70 years of age later this year.

    However, attention was then turned to other financial matters, specifically a will. My Mothers finances are of the simplest kind, being that she only has the 1 bank account (over which she has sole control-I receive letters regarding benefits, such as HB/CT/SP/PC & AA, and try to simplify their contents when explaining these!)

    Mother has always mentioned that she wishes whatever monies that maybe left, would go to her youngest Grandson (who is only 3 years of age), and who since birth, has brought her much happiness and many happy memories, long may these last. In order to complete the picture, there are other Grandchildren, who are all either in late teens/adults and some of whom have lost contact. Of my Mothers 4 children, 2 eldest (of which I am 1), are happy for this to happen, regarding 3rd child, no contact has been made for a few years, and the youngest, is the Father of the Grandson my Mother wishes to leave whatever monies are left, so cannot foresee any argument on this aspect.

    On the above basis and information, is it fair to say that a self drawn/'over the counter' will kit will suffice for such matters to be dealt with, fairly and legally?

    Or, are there any mental health organisations that would be able to help-(have looked at AgeUK website, which appear to direct viewers to a firm of solicitors who would charge for this).

    How have other readers dealt with a similar position?

    Obviously, the sooner that this can be dealt with the better, and any views and/or responses are gratefully received.

    Many thanks.
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
  3. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    North Manchester
    If your Mother is making one grandchild sole beneficiary to the exclusion of other grandchildren it may be advisable for her to use a solicitor to draw up and witness the will.
  4. francis1306

    francis1306 Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    Hi Beate, many thanks for your reply. Yes, as mentioned, Mum still in early stage/s and understands exactly what she wants to do, as this has been mentioned on a few occasions-just not as frequent as wanting to deal with and arrange her pre paid funeral!

    Don't get me wrong, my Mother has her difficult, bad days, which can be hard for us to deal with and sometimes be frustrating. However, it has to be remembered that this is not my Mother, it is the Alzheimers. My partner is fantastic at these times as her Mother is in the latter stages and has suffered with Alzheimers for over 20 years. It also helps that my partners daughter, is a band 6 mental health nurse specialising in mental health of the older generation.

    TY for the information regarding free wills month-will look into this. If not, I should be able to ask ex colleagues/friends 'from the bar' relating to such will kits and even those pro forma type that can now be downloaded! The most important aspect being that my Mother understands completely what is contained in her will, and further, that both witnesses are happy that she understands exactly what is happening when this is arranged.

    And, Hi Nitram, TY for your concerns regarding other grandchildren. Strictly speaking, the wishes and course of action that my Mother wishes to take, should not have any bearing. To explain this as simply as able, the Grandchild and his Father, have a different Father! Although I regard the Grandchild's Father as my full Brother, we have the same Mother but different Fathers, if this make sense!

    If I am able to find a specific website/page that assists others in similar circumstances, I shall post back.
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I do agree with nitram: when you are getting a will drawn up where some members of a family are being excluded and there is a diagnosis of dementia, you really really need the will drawn up by a professional. This is not the time for the DIY route. I'm not saying the excluded family members would sue after your mother's death but they could and they could also claim undue influence or lack of capacity. Please, get a solicitor.
  6. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    Radcliffe on Trent
    When my mother changed her will she was considering excluding my brother completely owing to his complete lack of contact with her for several years. In the end she didn't actually do this, but her solicitor advised that if she wanted to exclude him she should draw up a a separate letter witnessed by the solicitor, explaining why she wanted to do this. This would not in itself have prevented a challenge to the will by my brother, but would have mitigated the risk of a successful challenge.

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