• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

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    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

similar problems

pescy

Registered User
Jun 26, 2006
15
Could anyone tell me if they have had the same problem with their loved one? My mother when in different environment,thinks she sees someone she knows,even if they are
people she has never met before.When on holiday in Greece this year with her boyfriend,my mum spoke to a woman who she was convinced was her mother's mother! Who she had never met before!
I find this site so helpful/cathartic, i can't stop crying everytime i read everyones posts,they are so relevant to me.... Perhaps i'm not ready yet for my real emotions,,,I feel this sounds really ****! Sorry......:eek:
 

taylorcat

Registered User
Jun 18, 2006
171
W.Scotland
Hi, Pescy. My Mum has been doing this for quite some time now. I remember a few years ago we were driving through a town and my Mum said "oh there's that house, that woman always paints her house that colour". I asked her how she knew this and she told me it was that colour the last time she passed here. As far as I know she had never been there before.

If we are stopped at traffic lights and there's perhaps someone at a bus stop she will say "that girl is always at that bus stop". It does get very frustrating but I've learnt to ignore it now.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,405
Kent
Hi Pescy
It`s so hard isn`t it to come to terms with the changing behaviour of people who were once fine, responsible members of the community. It`s hard not to cry.

The comfort I get from TP is more than I get from any of my closest friends and family, because TP members understand that not only is it physically exhausting being a carer, it`s emotionally draining too.

Look after yourself. Grannie G
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Hi
My Mum tells me everyday, that years ago, she sold sweets from the house next door to mine. The house has only been buit in the last year and she has never sold sweets. Also that, she knew the people who lived in my house before I did and didn't like them much, as they were never sober!! My house is a new build and we are the first to live in it. Maybe she means me, having the occasional glass of wine, with dinner!! To-day, Mum said she had been to her Mother's house. Her Father had tried to feed her and persuaded her to stay the night, then she said "you know, I thought my Father was dead" Yes he is, 28 years ago. I find Mum talking more and more about her Mother, Father and brothers, who are all dead and wonder if this means anything other than the normal progression of this disease.
Sorry to be so morbid, but have had a hard day
Alfjess
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,453
Hiya Pescy,
I suppose that when you are totally confused and lost in a new surrounding, it is reassuring to try and find something from the past that you 'know' - even when everyone else knows that you don't!

Are you OK Alfjess?
Love Helen
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Hi Helen
Yes I am feeling better to-day, thank you. Hope to-day is better than yesterday, although we have not got of to a good start. Mum is wanting to call the police, thinks someone has stolen her bank book and money and won't let me help look for them, so I have left her to look herself. I will go back in a little while and try again
Alfjess
 

pescy

Registered User
Jun 26, 2006
15
I really wasn't looking forward to reading my post today-for fear of total embarrassment! Note to myself:Never start thread after one to many glasses of wine!:eek:
Far too emotional and honest!
I was reassured to read that others have the same problems(loved ones seeing things etc) Thanks all:D
 
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Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
I hope you don’t mind me interrupting






I just like to add my mum tell me strange story of things that have happen. I wonder as my mum nap a lot that she getting her dreams confused with my reality , meaning that mum think her dreams our her reality .

I found the emotional part crying very hard to come to term for a very long time over the year I have come to the conclusion that over the million to billion thought I have running around in my mind over mum illness it won’t kill me just make me stronger

Did your mum fine her bank -book alfjess or did she let you find it for her ?
 

alfjess

Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
1,213
south lanarkshire
Hi Magarita
I found Mum's bank book, but needless to say it now lost again, but she doesn't appear as bothered about it as she was this morning.
I have often wondered, as you have said about dreams. Are some of the fantastic tales my Mum relates to me, only vivid dreams. Or is it just another symptom of AD, as in delusions/ hallucinations, (I don't quite understand the difference between delusions and hallucinations isn't it all imagination?) I know Mum believes everything she tells me and some of the things she says are so ridiculous, that you just have to laugh, even my Dad also an AD sufferer can laugh at her stories
Alfjess
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Delusions is when you think you our some think you are not ,like our mums could say they our rich woman living in a completely different life, so if your mother telling you a story is not true she is having a delusion

A hallucinations is when you see something that is not there like seeing a dead person in a chair, she may talk to someone that is not there , I suppose it could be the imagination playing tricks seeing that a lot of brain damage is going on it’s a possibility .

Or side Effects of the medication for AD



My mum wake up tell me she just saw dad it was so real she says I say mum you just woke up you must of dreamt it . some time she tell me the story ,other time I find her talking to herself may be she having a hallucination things someone there . It does not scare me as I know like you say yes it’s all part of AD.


My mum been on Exbiza for 3 years and Never had a hallucinations . before mum was not on Medication she use to have hallucination so may be the medication is not workeing so good now


I wonder what time of the day does your mum have
vivid dreams.
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
62
Sheffield
My mum is not on any medication so delusions/hallucinations are not a side effect in her case....
Last night she wanted to go to work (she's 82 and retired at 60) because all "her men" were waiting for her:confused: When I asked her what job she did she couldn't remember but knew she had to get there....i persuaded her to wait until today....she was happy with that.

Whenever we go out and see a car parked in the countryside she'll say"that was there yesterday"....she says this every time.
Whenever we pass a little cottage...any cottage she'll say "aunt Sarah lived there"
Whenever I take her into the Peaks she'll say "My dad used to bring us here"...She was brought up 150 miles away!
We also have men visiting the house regularly to look round and check the work's being done!!!!
I turn a deaf ear to it all and make the right noises....it doesn't upset me any more....I've learned not to challenge it and that satisfies mum...
It's hard but you learn to cope!!!
My life is never dull.....each day I can be a different person in mum's eyes!!!
Wendy
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Until recently, it's been the opposite problem - Mum not recognising people she's known for years, cutting them dead in the street!
Now the scene you describe is starting to appear. It seems to gain momentum over a period of a week, for instance on Monday morning she might see a bus going up the hill on the other side of the valley. "Oh, is that the Sudbury bus?" she'll say. So I say that probably it is (like you do when there's no real answer you can give) even though I have no idea. On Tuesday she'll say the same again, but perhaps add "Mrs Smith always used to get that bus every Friday"; on Weds. Mrs Smith & the bus go to market (sounds like a Janet & John book title!), Thursday Mrs Smith's son goes with her, and by Saturday she's convinced that she met Mrs Smith (who died 20 years ago) off the bus, and her son (she didn't have one) has had excellent exam results!

It's almost as if she feels she has to create a scenario to fill in the gaps left by the things she can't remember any more.

On the subject of disturbing dreams; last week our water (for the whole street) was turned off for most of Tuesday while the water company fixed a leak up the road. No problem, they advised us in advance & I had drawn off kettles, jugs, thermos flasks etc. to get through the day. However, Mum is now having dreams/nightmares about the water, gas & electricity being cut off, and not being able to pay the bills!


mel said:
just make the right noises .... it doesn't upset me any more .... that satisfies mum...
- so true, and a big step for the carer's own mental survival. White lies quickly become a way of life.
 

pescy

Registered User
Jun 26, 2006
15
My mum's partner had to take the mirror off the wall in their bedroom,as mum kept thinking she saw me walking past!When actually it must have just been her walking past the mirror(we are similar looking!) When mum says she recognises people or sees things that aren't there,i often think ;well,perhaps she does know them?Or,has some sixth sense?It can sometimes be a bit SPOOKY!:eek:
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
I have a book called the 36 hours Day it say that when delusion or hallucinations occur, react calmly so that you do not further upset the confused person.

It also says these symptoms respond to medication that makes the patient more comfortable and life easier for you.
 

chon

Registered User
Jun 17, 2007
1
London
mother just got diagnosed last week

pescy said:
Could anyone tell me if they have had the same problem with their loved one? My mother when in different environment,thinks she sees someone she knows,even if they are
people she has never met before.When on holiday in Greece this year with her boyfriend,my mum spoke to a woman who she was convinced was her mother's mother! Who she had never met before!
I find this site so helpful/cathartic, i can't stop crying everytime i read everyones posts,they are so relevant to me.... Perhaps i'm not ready yet for my real emotions,,,I feel this sounds really ****! Sorry......:eek:
Hi i care for my mother whom has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers, so for me it all so confusisng, my mother also thinks that people she see on the TV are her members of family she hasent seen for years. She is constantly talking to the TV and thinks they can see her.

She recently was very distress thinking that the TV people told her she has won the Lotterry and they havent given her winnings.

She keeps telling me she wants to notify the police to arrest them for her money.

That makes me so Sad cause i dont know how to help her with these dellusions.

I know exactly what your going through !!:(
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,405
Kent
Welcome to TP chon,

I haven`t experienced the type of delusions you are experiencing with your mother, but I can understand how upsetting it must be for you.

But everything about Alzheimers is upsetting and as there are no rules that tell us how to handle these situations, we just have to play it by ear and manage as best we can.

The only way I can think of helping, is to go along with the delusion and say you`ll get it sorted out tomorrow, or whenever. Then I would try anything to distract your mother from her delusion.

Hopefully someone else will have experienced this too, and will help you with some better ideas.

Take care
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Hi chon and welcome to TP

As Sylvia says, the most you can really do is distract her, even if it means to a certain extent entering her delusions. Now this may go against all the advice you've ever seen about delusions, but that advice is applicable only to people with possibly treatable mental illness, when part of the treatment requires them to recognise what is and is not real. When it comes to dementia, you are not doing anyone any harm by entering the delusion (provided it is of course safe) since it is not possible to get them to recognise that what they are going through IS a delusion. For them, it is as real as everyday life is to us and attempting to get them admit that something they believe to be true with every fibre of their being is in fact false, is as counterproductive as banging your head against a wall.

Jennifer
 

cris

Registered User
Aug 23, 2006
326
70
Chelmsford
The time to get embarrassed is when you are driving, approach traffic lights or roundabout and your loved one starts to wave at those next to you (thinking that they know them). They (the other driver) interprets the wave as "you w*****" or "who the heck are they" or "what you waving at me for".
Never mind. I pretend I don't know what is happening.
cris :D