1. Loganberry

    Loganberry Registered User

    Apr 23, 2011
    17
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    My beautiful Mam passed away 10 days ago after a 10+ year struggle with vascular dementia. She didn't suffer at the end, simply closed her eyes and over 5 days slipped away. My Dad and two brothers and I were by her side as she passed.

    I am heartbroken, but know that she had been through some terrible times with her illness, and after breaking her hip last April, had no quality of life. So I am plodding on, getting by. The funeral is on Thursday, ordered the flowers today, sad, but no tears. But today, when my Dad phoned after visiting her care home today and told me there was someone new in her room now, I was in bits. Ridiculous I know, they can't keep it empty. But I really didn't think it would hurt this much :(
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,921
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to read your news. I'm glad that you have found this forum and I hope that you will find it helpful to share you feelings here. There will always be someone here who will understand.

    Wishing you strength for the days to come.
     
  3. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,149
    Toronto, Canada
    I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's not ridiculous that you were in bits because her room was filled. Rather, I think it was because it made it even more real and you had to release your emotions. My condolences to you and your family.
     
  4. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,475
    Radcliffe on Trent
    However you feel it is right for you, especially in this difficult period while you are waiting for the funeral to happen. Sending you and all your family my sympathy and condolences.
     
  5. Sweet

    Sweet Registered User

    Jun 16, 2014
    72
    Hi loganberry.. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of you lovely mum. I adored my mum too, she passed away 3 days ago.

    I didn't want my mum to suffer any longer, she was 92 with vas D . I know she's Ok, but I wish I could still be with her for me! I know we are at very early stages in coming to term with everything. I miss my mum's CH and her room, though at the beginning that was the last place I wanted her to be. I cleared all her things out yesterday, went back to sort a couple of things, and thought I didn't really want to leave!

    It's lots of 'little things'... Even on this forum.. I want to go on the 'I care for someone'.. Guess I've moved on from that too... I think grief comes out for all sorts of 'little things' but they are what touch us and hurts us.
    Sweet x
     
  6. Loganberry

    Loganberry Registered User

    Apr 23, 2011
    17
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    Thanks everyone, I suppose there will be lots more "little things" to come. After losing the Mam I knew, the whole person before dementia struck, I don't think I had expected this to hit me so hard. Sweet, so sorry to hear about your Mum, thoughts are with you xx
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    I'm so sorry to read of the passing of your dear Mum. A time of great sadness for you and your family, but I hope you will support each other and find peace together.

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  8. Loganberry

    Loganberry Registered User

    Apr 23, 2011
    17
    Newcastle upon Tyne
    My parents were married for 67 years. My poor Dad is lost, he visited Mam every day. Today he went to see her and placed their wedding photo in her hand. I pray our support will be enough for him.
     
  9. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    Oh I don't think that's such a little thing :(. It was bound to upset you. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your lovely mam xx
     
  10. Flinty

    Flinty Registered User

    Jan 27, 2015
    1
    Peak District England
    Thoughts are with you

    As someone who is caring as best they can for their mum I would like to pass on condolences to you. Please ensure that you look after yourself over the next period. Mourning is different for everyone, I didn't cry after my dad died until months after and then really broke down. Look after yourself and support each other. Take care.




     

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