Well, Tomjo, if you're going crazy, then so am I
My mum also suffers from intermittent constipation and loose stools ( not usually diarrhoea as such, though). She has to rush to the loo very often, and doesn't make it in time on a regular basis. Hence all the clearing up.....
I wouldn't, however, say she is incontinent. She still gets the feeling of needing to go, but can't keep herself clean in so doing. And....when she doesn't make it in time, and makes a mess on the floor, she's taken to 'hiding' the faeces in bags, which she then 'hides' in cupboards / under chairs etc. So we have a regular stint of a somewhat mucky game of hide and seek.....
Like you, I don't live with mum, and I think in my mum's case, the problem is partly down to her not drinking enough, partly that she doesn't eat enough fruit and veg, and partly that she has severe arthritis and is very slow in getting to the loo. I wonder whether any of these factors apply to your mum?
For us, they are complicated by the fact that mum a) doesn't recall hiding the poo, and b) is fast losing her sense of smell, which of course is a main element in what makes us want to keep ourselves and our environment clean.....
Mum was having a 'good day' yesterday, so I introduced pull-up pads, which she promised me she'd wear (though I wish we could actually solve the problem, rather than just containing it!) She also agreed that she couldn't smell her kitchen bins, which were ripe, so tomorrow I'll move on to her not being able to smell faeces...
Trouble is, I highly doubt she'll remember these conversations....but at least I'll know we had them, and that we did our best to manage ...
Oh and yes, I have definitely noticed the smell of constipation on mum's breath. It can't feel pleasant for her
Sorry I can't help, but at least we know we're not alone
Good luck Tomjo
Any advice / ideas will be much appreciated
Lindy xx