sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

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Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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Normally I would have to wait a week to two weeks for a Facetime appointment, but I put my foot down this week and made myself very clear as I rarely get Facetime because mum just doesn't cope with it. So I had a Facetime with mum today and it was heartbreaking. Most the time mum doesn't cope well with technology but today we got to 7 minutes before her attention span went. Although she is Covid +ve she looked OK other than the ravages of advancing dementia. She recognised that I was her son and got very teary, so we very quickly distracted her -but she was right I should be with her not 'over there' as she said. Its just so not right that people at the end of their lives with dementia have to face this in comparison to other EOL scenarios. I just want to give her a big hug and let her know I am still here for her.
 

Sarasa

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Apr 13, 2018
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I saw that news @Palerider. A step in the right direction, but so hard for families where more than one person used to regularly visit their loved one on a regular basis. I'm glad you had at least seven minutes with your mum.
Roll on the 8th March.
 

Pete1

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Jul 16, 2019
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Hi @Palerider, that Facetime call sounds absolutely heartbreaking. I hope you can get to see Mum soon with the latest developments - which are not before time.
 

anxious annie

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Jan 2, 2019
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I do hope that all care homes will comply with the Government guidance allowing indoor visits and hand holding from March 8th and you get to see your mum @Palerider . It's a step in the right direction, but will be very difficult for large families to nominate one visitor. Perhaps more information will be released tonight about residents being allowed "out" to meet with up to 6 people, as everyone else will be able to from March 29th. My mum would love a trip to the park across the road and a coffee and cake with family.
 

Palerider

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I do hope that all care homes will comply with the Government guidance allowing indoor visits and hand holding from March 8th and you get to see your mum @Palerider . It's a step in the right direction, but will be very difficult for large families to nominate one visitor. Perhaps more information will be released tonight about residents being allowed "out" to meet with up to 6 people, as everyone else will be able to from March 29th. My mum would love a trip to the park across the road and a coffee and cake with family.
I'd like to think taking mum out would be still possible but I think she's too advanced now, but there is only one way to find out and that is trial it -when of course finally we are allowed to :rolleyes:
 

Palerider

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Well I found out yesterday the insurance company have written my car off -nice of them to contact me to let me know before yesterday (Sunday). Luckily I have gap insurance so there won't be any incurred personal costs. In the same time I have managed to organise a new vehicle (just about) and am collecting tomorrow from Leeds as I can't wait for it to be delivered due to work committments.

Things can only get better!
 

Melles Belles

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Jul 4, 2017
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Mine was written off last year valued at £5800. Was hit by a drunk.
I bought it back for £1700 and had it fixed and MOT‘d for £1100 and had it back on the road. Planning to sell it soon and should make a profit. Insurance companies so quick to write off. It had only done 27000 miles.
 

Jaded'n'faded

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Jan 23, 2019
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I'd like to think taking mum out would be still possible but I think she's too advanced now, but there is only one way to find out and that is trial it -when of course finally we are allowed to :rolleyes:
It was really warm and sunny here this afternoon. Maybe sitting outside with your mum will be possible soon on a nice day. I used to do that with my mum and by the time I took her back in she felt like she'd had a day out, especially if I'd taken ice cream or wine! (But it wasn't too exhausting for her.)
 

Palerider

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Mine was written off last year valued at £5800. Was hit by a drunk.
I bought it back for £1700 and had it fixed and MOT‘d for £1100 and had it back on the road. Planning to sell it soon and should make a profit. Insurance companies so quick to write off. It had only done 27000 miles.
That did cross my mind but the damage repair would exceed the value even if I took it privately to be repaired -they say the back axle is damaged as well as body work :(
 

Palerider

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It was really warm and sunny here this afternoon. Maybe sitting outside with your mum will be possible soon on a nice day. I used to do that with my mum and by the time I took her back in she felt like she'd had a day out, especially if I'd taken ice cream or wine! (But it wasn't too exhausting for her.)

Anyhting is possible i guess, but we shall see :)
 

Up the Creek

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Sep 9, 2020
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Mine was written off last year valued at £5800. Was hit by a drunk.
I bought it back for £1700 and had it fixed and MOT‘d for £1100 and had it back on the road. Planning to sell it soon and should make a profit. Insurance companies so quick to write off. It had only done 27000 miles.
You will need to check but I think it will be recorded that the car was a technical write off even if you didn’t write it off. It might then make it harder for a buyer to insure so you will have to make it clear when you sell it that it had been written off
 

Melles Belles

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You will need to check but I think it will be recorded that the car was a technical write off even if you didn’t write it off. It might then make it harder for a buyer to insure so you will have to make it clear when you sell it that it had been written off
Exactly it will appear on right off register.
I have all the repair recepits for the windscreen, wing and headlight. A drunk man ran into the road while chatting on his mobile and into my car. Luckily for him it was at low speed. He walked off with his friend before the ambulance came. Wouldn’t give his details either. I lost my no claims and my insurance increased from £350 to over £1000 and its wasn’t my fault. Very very annoying.
 

Palerider

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Exactly it will appear on right off register.
I have all the repair recepits for the windscreen, wing and headlight. A drunk man ran into the road while chatting on his mobile and into my car. Luckily for him it was at low speed. He walked off with his friend before the ambulance came. Wouldn’t give his details either. I lost my no claims and my insurance increased from £350 to over £1000 and its wasn’t my fault. Very very annoying.

Similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I stopped for a police traffic car with blue lights on and the chap behind was so busy watching the police car he ran in the back of me. Mum was with me and said 'is it our fault?' 'NO' I said. It made no difference the car was written off and it affected my NCB.
 

Palerider

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Today the sun shone, I got some washing done, went for a drive and dropped supplies off for mum in her care home. I asked about visiting after March 8th -they don't know what is happening and its now a year since I visited mum in her new home. I have argued with insurance and gap insurance companies, collated paperwork and lost my tether with both and gave them a red card warning -which seemed to work.

Tomorrow we inter my sisters ashes to rest and so comes the closure of that journey. I am humbled that I am alive and not whether my glass is half full or half half empty, but that I have a glass at all
?
 

Melles Belles

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Jul 4, 2017
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You must be exhausted now. Thinking of you and your family tomorrow.
I hope you get news on visiting your mum soon, 8th March isn’t far away so let’s hope family get there visits at long last.
 

Duggies-girl

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Sep 6, 2017
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I am humbled that I am alive and not whether my glass is half full or half half empty, but that I have a glass at all
?
Wow, yes we all have a glass. that's cheered me right up.

I am glad that one journey has come to an end and I hope that you can see your mum in March after all this time.
 

Palerider

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Wow, yes we all have a glass. that's cheered me right up.
I think we get bogged down in how full or empty our glass is, when the reality is tht it doesn't matter -we have to stop chasing what others think of us and think for ourselves and also where we go from here -no one else will do that for us and I mean that in a number of uncanny ways ;)
 

Palerider

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Well thats it, all done my sisters ashes were interred today. It feels odd seeing her as ashes, I still haven't got over how little there was of dad left -he was a big man. It's a beautiful spot...

155147372_2640339842922804_4059872689184601024_n.jpg
 
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