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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

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Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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As I build up to the 4th July and visit my dad, here is a tribute to a man who was essentially a good man and even though we fell out for a few years in the end I loved him for who he was -my dad
dad.jpg
 

Izzy

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That’s a lovely photo. My dad was in the Navy during the war and I love my photos of him in uniform.
 

Palerider

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That’s a lovely photo. My dad was in the Navy during the war and I love my photos of him in uniform.
I have a good many @Izzy -this is when they lived in Malta in the 1960's and its Valetta harbour. Its funny my dad was one of the first sailor boys to visit Japan and he had never forgot what he saw as they delivered barrels of antibiotics. I think war changed his persepective in life when he witnessed its consequences first hand
 

GillP

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Aug 11, 2021
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Lovely photo, @Palerider , it’s really good to look back at old images. Sometimes it’s bittersweet and sometimes it can bring on much needed pleasure.

Hope you are ok.
 

Izzy

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I have a good many @Izzy -this is when they lived in Malta in the 1960's and its Valetta harbour. Its funny my dad was one of the first sailor boys to visit Japan and he had never forgot what he saw as they delivered barrels of antibiotics. I think war changed his persepective in life when he witnessed its consequences first hand

My husband did his national service in Korea. He was quite a footballer in his youth and ended up on the officers’ football team although he was not an officer! He ended up travelling to Japan with them to play football. That, of course, was in the 1950s - he was 21 years older than me!😍

Bill’s national service was just as the Korean War had ended. My dad was on the Atlantic convoys during the 2nd word war.
 

Palerider

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My husband did his national service in Korea. He was quite a footballer in his youth and ended up on the officers’ football team although he was not an officer! He ended up travelling to Japan with them to play football. That, of course, was in the 1950s - he was 21 years older than me!😍

Bill’s national service was just as the Korean War had ended. My dad was on the Atlantic convoys during the 2nd word war.
Thats really interesting, how did he fnd Japan when he vsisited? My dad was horrified at Horishima, he said there had been no effort to restart when he visited. dad was also in the fisheries wars -anyone remeber that -ramming of naval ships with fishing boats?

My uncle Tom was also naval in the second world war his ships got sank twice to which he had the misfortune of surviving twice in the seas, but survive he did. A lovely man sadly now gone with all of my family var mum
 

Izzy

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Bill didn’t talk a lot about Japan. He was a young soldier out there to play football. I don’t recall him saying a lot about it. He spoke more of Korea.
 

Palerider

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Bill didn’t talk a lot about Japan. He was a young soldier out there to play football. I don’t recall him saying a lot about it. He spoke more of Korea.
Its interesting to get different perspectives even now. My later uncles served in Korea but sadly they are all now dead as on my dads side. My mums uncles were actually my great uncles because mum was an only child, but my dad had 7 brothers all of whom served and all of whom had their own tales to tell......which I will never hear sadly
 

Izzy

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So many stories. My dad used to love telling Bill his stories. He only knew my dad for 6 years before dad died but their service stories were a bond.
 

Palerider

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So many stories. My dad used to love telling Bill his stories. He only knew my dad for 6 years before dad died but their service stories were a bond.
And I bet your dad had some stories - I used to find it all fascinating, espcially my grans stories
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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Well I visited mum today but she was flat in her fave chair in the corner, I managed to wake her for Jaffa Doughnut which went down well but she then went back to sleep and sleep she did. Likely has been awake most of the night again :rolleyes:
 

Origano

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Mar 26, 2021
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Im afraid that dementia destroys so many bonds. Im still at home with OH, but I no longer feel like a wife. We used to be soulmates, but now Im just a carer/housekeeper/general dogsbody and all he can see are his own needs wants and comforts. Every day is groundhog day.

I hope you can work everything out, I value your input on here
((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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Finally a day off and I am resting today, I am too tired to venture out and am opting for the TV / slob out option. I don't feel too guilty as I am off until Thursday and can visit mum tomorrow. I'm thinking of an evening visit as mum will be more awake then and I can guage how she is in herself. Even so there is not a day passes by when I don't think off her and how I wish this was all so different.
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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A truly abysmal day. There are so many highs and so many lows, but today is just an all out cry all the way home day and being utterly lost in how best to describe it all. Even those of us who are the most determined hit walls now and agian and today is one of them. I just get so upset somedays seeing my mum how she is now, knowing there is nothing I can do. Helplessness is no easy friend.

emotional-quotes_1.jpg
 

DreamsAreReal

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Oct 17, 2015
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I wonder if it would be easier to cope with the ravages of Dementia if it didn't go on for so many years? It's not only relentless but seemingly, never-ending. Sorry you're having a tough day. I hope you feel better tomorrow. Sometimes you just need to get it all out xx
 

GillP

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Aug 11, 2021
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A truly abysmal day. There are so many highs and so many lows, but today is just an all out cry all the way home day and being utterly lost in how best to describe it all. Even those of us who are the most determined hit walls now and agian and today is one of them. I just get so upset somedays seeing my mum how she is now, knowing there is nothing I can do. Helplessness is no easy friend.

emotional-quotes_1.jpg
So sorry to hear you’re having a bad time. Stay calm, breathe and be kind to yourself.
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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Thanks everyone. I am sat at home gazing through the window sipping red wine in deep thought and asking myself 'how did all end up like this?' I know the factual answers, but there is a part of us that needs more than fact. I am just fed up with dealing with all of this on my own day in and day out while at the same time knowing my mum would not want any of what has unfolded for me or herself and she would be upset to know her eldest son has abandoned her completely.

Its true to say I am at my wits end with always feeling bad and upset for my mum because of how others have behaved as well as this awful disease. I try my best to just plod on, but some days are like wading through setting concrete with no real aim at the end.
 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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Anyway I am off to finish my bottle of red and listen to music tonight, here is another Voces8 @GillP you might enjoy this. I have to get up tomorrow and finish my last OH appt at my new place of employment before being finalised. I feel so sad and heavy right now, but this has become a part of this journey, it is not always light and airy.....

 

Palerider

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Aug 9, 2015
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A long week and finally I am on annual leave after 4 months of ongoing full on clinical work and I am exhausted completely. Last night I finished at 21:50 having helped mop a mess that was not mine and nearly loosing the plot with the consultant which essentilly drove me round the twist having stayed late. My Paddington Bear stare does work that I can vouch for.
 
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