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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,433
0
South coast
I think this has come just at the right time. You will find it so much easier without that long commute. I hope all goes well
xx
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes and support, its been an interesting week knowing that change is coming.

Finally at the end of this week the GP has called me and updated me with a plan for mum, which is better than where we were at the start of the week. I know there isn't anything that anyone can do for this horrible disease, but that doesn't mean we let people suffer unecessarily either. For now mum has rallied, and I just don't know how she is keeping going, but she is. She was always a strong willed determined lady and I think that still shines through.

The missing jewelry remains a mystery, I did however get a call from the manager yesterday (finally) and she has conceded after searching the entire unit it cannot be found anywhere, so I said I think this needs to be actioned. I was also quite cutting with her that it took her so long to call me about the incident. I then relented having made my point and I did get a genuine apology.
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
988
0
Congratulations on your interview success, which hospital will you be working at? It might be local to me!

Your mum certainly is tough to keep on rallying and fighting back and it’s good that you have had the care plan updated. I was very lucky that Mums doctor was very proactive and always phoned me after a visit to mum if her meds were changed or if there was an infection or something. I think without that regular contact, I would have been even more anxious about Mum when she was EOL.

Her funeral is on Tuesday, it was delayed due to my nephews GCSE exams but allowed time for us to contact some of her old friends which was nice. I guess that will end our relationship with her lovely care home, I know some are coming to the funeral, but I will still continue to crochet lap blankets for them as I like to crochet in the evenings to stop me eating!

Good luck in your new job..
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
Congratulations on your interview success, which hospital will you be working at? It might be local to me!

Your mum certainly is tough to keep on rallying and fighting back and it’s good that you have had the care plan updated. I was very lucky that Mums doctor was very proactive and always phoned me after a visit to mum if her meds were changed or if there was an infection or something. I think without that regular contact, I would have been even more anxious about Mum when she was EOL.

Her funeral is on Tuesday, it was delayed due to my nephews GCSE exams but allowed time for us to contact some of her old friends which was nice. I guess that will end our relationship with her lovely care home, I know some are coming to the funeral, but I will still continue to crochet lap blankets for them as I like to crochet in the evenings to stop me eating!

Good luck in your new job..

Thanks @Lynmax , I think its pot luck on who we get as a GP in care homes, mums aren't the most pro-active but at least they do respond when given a verbal kick. The reality is as you already know they are fighting a loosing battle so it gets harder to keep matters as they should be.

Anyway hoping the funeral goes well. I know a lot of mums old friends would want the chance to say good bye, especially her old bowling friends and some distant family, so as much as it is a dilemma at the end of the day I always think funerals are for those left behind. I'll msg you about my new place of work.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
I visited mum today and went early while she was having lunch. It was as if a light had shone down from on high and mum was wide awake eating her plumb crumble and chatting away to me, laughing and seemed in a good place, to my suprise she knew who she was talking to and said my name three times (I know that sounds daft, but at this stage its hard to know if there is any recognition). On the downside mums BP is very low and her heart rate has slowed so things are not where they were plus I got the result of her Pro BNP blood test back which was very high and inkeeping with heart failure. I don't how much longer mum will go on for as although she is perky this week, that can suddenly change with such a dodgy heart. But I am resolved as are her team to let her be and if there are any changes to call me. The GP was sensible in not sending mum to hospital for an ECHO as there is no way my mum would allow someone to put cold jelly on her chest and then prod her with an ultrasound probe for 20 mins plus the blood test already helps confirm things so its not necessary anyway.

I drove home happy that mum was ok, that's all that matters to me now, so long as she keeps her spirit then all is not lost even if that means her heart eventually gives up.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
A jubilee visit to see mum today. On the way I popped in to buy the usual supplies of toiletries plus a change of cake to mini battenbourgs. As I walked in F got me and I asked how her hubby went on with his offer of a new job (he works in another unit in the same care home), she was grateful for my advice as his email offer had got lost (wrong email address) -but its all sorted now and they are looking forward to some new changes in their own careers -I'm always glad to help decent nurses on their career path.

I could hear mum laughing in the lounge sat with one of her fave carers playing with her realistic cat toy. Mum again was full of beans and proceeded to eat the entire box of mini battenbourgs. She was just amazingly 'with it' and ask me to take her out for a drive. It was bit late today as I don't like it getting late as mum starts to get anxious towards the end of the day and wants to 'go home'. So I have arranged to take her out for a drive tomorrow, picking her up at 1pm (funnily enough mum was listening in and churped and said 12pm). I am stunned at this latest week of turn around after so long of what I can only describe as despair and misery. I am also mindful through years of experience that peaks like this can pre-empt a sudden decline, so with that in mind I am making the most of it while the sun shines.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
Fingers crossed for you @Palerider.
Thanks @Grannie G _ I don't know where this will all end but I do know that whatever happens I have seen my mum in a better light and all I can say is who knows what will happen next, because no one does. If only we had foresight? I do know my mum would be very much in the present if she could express that in more detail, and that is all that matters ;)
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,051
0
Kent
This one experience @Palerider shows we must never give up until there is no alternative These sparks of life are so special and unexpected but it`s witness to the fact there is always someone in there no matter how they appear.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
347
0
This one experience @Palerider shows we must never give up until there is no alternative These sparks of life are so special and unexpected but it`s witness to the fact there is always someone in there no matter how they appear.
Wise words, Grannie G and I wish more people would understand this. A nurse from the Memory Clinic upset my mum terribly by screeching at me "Your mum has dementia! She's not the same person!" .

I hope you and mum enjoy your trip out, Palerider.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
What a miserable end to the Queens Jubilee -rain rain and yes rain!

Well both attempts to get mum in the car and out have failed so far, not because she didn't want to go but because the first attempt she ate lunch and then nodded off, she just could not keep her eyes open so that attempt was aborted :rolleyes:. Today she was full of beans after lunch and in good spirits, but as soon as I got her in the wheel chair she was knocking back the ZZzz's, attempt two abandoned. Attempt three is on the way -the early morning approach tactic.

I also noted mums coat was missing, her new supply of toiletries being used communually and the agency care staff somewhat worrying. Her dirty bed linen not changed to which I seriously kicked off. I think I am going to have to say something. My mum wouldn't mind sharing her stuff if someone is deperate that is in her nature, but there is a line. Its just not the same now most of the permanent care staff have left, another left on Friday it was her last shift and one of mums fave carers. Of course I thanked her for all of her care with my mum but its is worrying, these new guys have to be prompted to do everything and I can see the nurse getting furstrated with them. I don't want to move mum now, but I can't say things are as they were -watch and wait I guess see if they recruit more permanent staff
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,135
0
North West
I just got off the phone with a permanent member of saff and they have agreed with me they also are not happy with the new influx of agency staff who just seem utterly lost. So its time to put things in writing, no doubt I may get threatened with a notice, but at the end of the day this is being paid for by either the taxpayer or self funding residents and either way I just don't see it as value for money and frankly over the last several months I have noticed some concerning things. Here we go again -it seems its a never ending battle to get what is right for people with dementia and its always us the carers who have gone through hell and back that have to deal with it head on
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
1,413
0
I just got off the phone with a permanent member of saff and they have agreed with me they also are not happy with the new influx of agency staff who just seem utterly lost. So its time to put things in writing, no doubt I may get threatened with a notice, but at the end of the day this is being paid for by either the taxpayer or self funding residents and either way I just don't see it as value for money and frankly over the last several months I have noticed some concerning things. Here we go again -it seems its a never ending battle to get what is right for people with dementia and its always us the carers who have gone through hell and back that have to deal with it head on
So sorry to hear of the staff changes. Two carers have left the home where my husband is and I am keeping a close eye on replacements. I’m currently not sure if they are permanent. They seem ok thus far.

I think that the two who have left, both were excellent, may have been there because they were laid off from better paid jobs during lockdown and have now found something else. Hoping others don’t follow.

I think that you are absolutely right to voice your concerns and hope that you get a satisfactory resolution. The thought of having to change homes would fill me with dread but we have to do what is best for our loved ones. Hopefully, it won’t come to this.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
3,190
0
High Peak
This is why I always advise people looking for a care home that Things Can Change. CQC plus word of mouth reports are all very well, but when there is a high staff turnover, often including management, it can be very disruptive and can change a good care home to a poor one overnight. (Or vice versa of course!) Agency staff (whether in hospitals or care homes) seem to do only the specific tasks they are told to do and no more. A permanent member of staff does what needs doing and also gets to know their residents' needs far better. Let's be honest - it works much better with long-term staff in lots of ways.

Sadly, as there is a shortage of (good) care workers, they have no choice but to bring in people from agencies. I really hope things improve...