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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
So today I finally visited mum as I had planned to get two visits in this week as I am on leave. She had just had lunch and was amazingly bright considering. I had taken some goodies in including the usual mini battenbourgs and she proceeeded to eat all five 😲. She certainly had recognition today and chatted with me and managed to answer some of my questions in how she was but of course word finding these days is not where it once was. Not before long she got up from the dining table and was off for a walk about. Managed to get a goodbye from her and I left. It will be next weekend now before I visit again as this week is going to be a full week.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
A long busy week at work and a colleague who lives locally to work said 'I just don't know how you commute so far and do this for 12.5hrs' -neither do I anymore! I am 55 in October and could of retired this year, but I can't afford to thats the simple truth, certainly not on a single pension.

The reality is I did it because I had to and then slowly became stuck in state of limbo from which I have been struggling to escape from. Torn between current friends and workmates and making the decision to move on to somewhere closer to home.

Well I think that is about to change as I have been shortlisted for interview and this time I don't have the same doubts as before. It will be easier to pop in and see my mum as well which is important to me as time goes by.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
Thanks guys, waiting for an interview date and just rapidly updating my portfolio :rolleyes:.

Today I visited mum and felt the same old feelings driving there until I got close and then felt differently and was keen to pop in. I took the usual Costa raspberry and almond bakes x 2. Mum had not eated her dinner but this is nothing new now, she really only eats her breakfast for the day and yes she is thinner each time I see her -but its a subtle change. She had been awake all night, but woke up for me and stayed with me for a short while until she nodded off having told me ' be careful' after saying my goodbye. The nurse F was on duty today and she was surprised at how mum was with me, but also was amused at how my mum said something she has always said when I leave, some things don't change, well at least not yet. Anyway F told me today she is pregnant again and so of course I congratulated her but also thought uh oh another stint of agency nurses. But for now we are lucky to have F and I make sure she knows that her work and care is very appreciated.

We got on to the topic of my brother and she was saying "surely for the sake of his own soul he could visit your mum". Hell has more chance of freezing over than my brother appearing out of sincerity, though no doubt he will creep out of the woodwork very quickly when mum passes motivated by material gain. I did get a bit choked when I talked to F about the whole thing, but what can we do, people do what they do often not realising the damage they incur by how they behave.

Anyway today I annoyed the neighbours for once, volume up and a glass of vino blanco:


Lyrics:
Go, thoughts, on golden wings;
Go, settle upon the slopes and hills,
where warm and soft and fragrant are
the breezes of our sweet native land!
Greet the banks of the Jordan,
the towers of Zion ...
Oh my country so beautiful and lost!
Or so dear yet unhappy!
Or harp of the prophetic seers,
why do you hang silent from the willows?
Rekindle the memories within our hearts,
tell us about the time that have gone by
Or similar to the fate of Solomon,
give a sound of lament;
or let the Lord inspire a concert
That may give to endure our suffering.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,074
0
Kent
Anyway today I annoyed the neighbours for once, volume up and a glass of vino blanco:


Lyrics:
Go, thoughts, on golden wings;
Go, settle upon the slopes and hills,
where warm and soft and fragrant are
the breezes of our sweet native land!
Greet the banks of the Jordan,
the towers of Zion ...
Oh my country so beautiful and lost!
Or so dear yet unhappy!
Or harp of the prophetic seers,
why do you hang silent from the willows?
Rekindle the memories within our hearts,
tell us about the time that have gone by
Or similar to the fate of Solomon,
give a sound of lament;
or let the Lord inspire a concert
That may give to endure our suffering.

This was one of my husband`s favourite pieces @Palerider and he recognised the introduction to the end of his life.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
I used to play it for him in the care home and as soon as he heard the introduction he said `Hebrew Slaves`
I think its a tune once heard you can't forget, even if not an opera fan. Verdi wrote this opera at a very sad time in his life having lost his wife and children. I love the phrase "Go, thoughts, on wings of gold". The lyrics above are a rough translation, but I also like the rest of the phrases that have many meanings I guess for each of us.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
Anyway thinking of your experience @Grannie G here is a piece of music that stirs up my mum to sing along everytime, Shenondoah is a song long embedded in her life and she even now will sing along to it and it is amazing to watch her
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
So the race is on to prep as interview on 23rd May and no signs of changing my mind yet.

Visiting mum on Sunday and planning a ride out if she is awake enough and the weather is good.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
3,151
0
North West
Well it doesn't look like I'll taking mum out today for a drive. I got call at 4am that mum had gone with a bang and they called the paramedics because she did not come round as she normally does and won't open her eyes. The decision was made not to take her to hospital, which I am happy with after they assessed her. I drove in to visit in the early hours and she looked very different, not as well as before. I sat with her for a while and as she stirred I settled her back down until she slipped into a decent sleep. I don't know if she will rally this time round, but all I can do is wait and see and hope the GP is a decent one tomorrow when they come out to visit mum.