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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
My fave is Snowdonia but done many up in the lakes and Cairngorms -this might be the break I need from dwelling on the past
67806457_2196838323939627_4935360023778820096_o.jpg
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Well I finally got to see mum today after months since my last visit in summer.

She was perkier than I had expected and chatted for a while and then began to tire. She didn't recognise me as Simon, but I seemed familiar to her as she talked about things we both know. Her speech is not the same now and stringing long scentences together isn't possible. The pod was ok and today it worked to a point, but its not the same as direct contact visiting. I asked if she would like some new clothes and chocolate for Christmas to which came a 'oh yes please'. Anyway as she was wheeled away she smile, laughed a little and waived goodbye.

It makes me feel so much better knowing that in herself she is ok and I can live with that having being allowed to visit today.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
2,860
0
Well I finally got to see mum today after months since my last visit in summer.

She was perkier than I had expected and chatted for a while and then began to tire. She didn't recognise me as Simon, but I seemed familiar to her as she talked about things we both know. Her speech is not the same now and stringing long scentences together isn't possible. The pod was ok and today it worked to a point, but its not the same as direct contact visiting. I asked if she would like some new clothes and chocolate for Christmas to which came a 'oh yes please'. Anyway as she was wheeled away she smile, laughed a little and waived goodbye.

It makes me feel so much better knowing that in herself she is ok and I can live with that having being allowed to visit today.
That's good news @Palerider it must be a weight off your mind seeing that your mum is OK 🥰 Your mum sounds a lot like mine and it definitely makes me feel better too when I get the opportunity to visit her in person to see that she is OK. Let's hope that there are a lot more more opportunities soon.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,506
0
So glad the visit went well, that sounds really positive and good your mum was better than expected.
Glad you've got the trek to look forward to as wel.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
907
0
Hi @Palerider, great to hear that you have finally been able to see your Mum. I'm sure changes in Mum were more noticeable as you haven't seen her properly in so long, but the main thing is that she is content and it sounds like, well cared for. Hopefully your visits can be regular from now on (whatever the frequency permits). It must have given you peace of mind. All the best.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Well it finally looks like we are at the point of sale on the house, asked to make an appointment to sign the documents today. Hoping it won't be too long now.

Its been a hard few months with everything going on and still the restrictions are being applied in mum's care home despite the new directive/guidance released this week. I am weary of it all to be honest, but I as always I had to keep on it today and have written to the local authorities asking what their concerns are around the new guidance. As yet I have received no answer from mums care home. It seems that we are heading for the roll out of a vaccine before these barriers will come down, but I can't help wondering how close to being exposed the care home sector has been in its failings and the public interest would be best served with some answers.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
744
0
Good news about the house.
Great that you finally managed a visit to see your mum in the pod. Hopefully it won't be long before you are allowed contact.
My mum's home today still hadn't received any information about lateral flow, or had any tests. The manager did say it will take staff time, and they were already tight! Doesn't sound too promising. The new guidance is more positive and encouraging visits using tests for contact, but unfortunately still has the "get out clause" about it being down to individual homes as they all have individual layouts and, needs of residents differ.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Good news about the house.
Great that you finally managed a visit to see your mum in the pod. Hopefully it won't be long before you are allowed contact.
My mum's home today still hadn't received any information about lateral flow, or had any tests. The manager did say it will take staff time, and they were already tight! Doesn't sound too promising. The new guidance is more positive and encouraging visits using tests for contact, but unfortunately still has the "get out clause" about it being down to individual homes as they all have individual layouts and, needs of residents differ.

I decided my few letters weren't enough so have tonight sent this to my MP:

Dear Esther,
Firstly, I feel I need to apologise in writing to you yet again in such a short space of time, however matters are pressing on the issue of visiting in care homes.
Again, thank you for speaking at the parliamentary debate on the 12th November and I heard every word you said, but most importantly was your last sentence about restoring public faith in the adult social care sector.
Over the last nine months we the carers of someone have been met with difficult scenarios having made the difficult decision to place someone close to us into the hands of ‘professional carers. I can say that based on my own experience the EMI unit my mother is now in has been excellent in caring for her and to clarify I have no complaint about her exceptional day-to-day care and would like to name her excellent nurses (now left the home) and her new nurse as well as her excellent care support workers.
I have no doubt that in the day to day business of life my mum is in good hands, however the restrictions around visiting have posed some fundamental questions over why care homes and care home managers are avoiding the issue of assuring visiting under the new government guidance released this week.
I am beginning to grow a little concerned at the evasiveness of care homes in general and my mums care home in their response to recent government guidance. As a working member of the NHS I now hold my own flow test kit, but this was declined on query at the care home. I was also told that their own lateral flow test kits had not arrived and was given the impression that even if they did, they would not change their visiting policy as such that it is now. I am now doubtful that nationally many care homes can actually deliver on the new government guidance and I would like to know specifically what the issues are that our care homes now face in honouring the new clarity given by government.
I have myself written to our local Director of Public Health (where mums EMI unit is situated) and ask for an explanation as to the issues that continue to prevent care homes in the area from delivering on the new guidance. As these providers of adult social care have said before that they are following government guidance, now that the guidance has changed, they seem to be saying they are not following it. This whole process of address and redress has become contradictory by the care home sector, by some LA’s and by the lack of any direction from Public Health Directors.
I seriously think that whatever the issues are at this time care home providers, local LA’s and Directors of Public Health need to start being transparent rather than enabling a goose chase in the interests of those in adult social care and the wider public. It does not bode well that those we entrust care to cannot have an open door policy on their decision making.
Kind regards
 
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Stacey sue

Registered User
Jan 24, 2020
92
0
I have to agree with all you have said in your letter,I am desperate to be able to hug my husband, I can’t see that happening until the vaccine!! Thankyou for your voice on behalf of so many.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Well I have had an intial response to my letter, so here it is:

Dear Simon,
Esther has been in contact with one of the Advisors who works for Matt Hancock this morning on this issue. That was a result of another constituent raising a similar issue.

We are waiting for a response and would be grateful if you shared any response you get to your enquires.
Thank you

Angela McPake

The Office of Rt Hon Esther McVey
Member of Parliament for Tatton


To date I have recieved no acknowledgement from the Director of Public Health for the area, which is frustrating as I would genuinely like to know what the concerns/issues actually are
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,801
0
Bedford
So pleased to hear that finally you were able to have a visit with your Mum.
I hope the house exchange/ completion progresses quickly so perhaps the new year can start with slightly less stress
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Well today I turned up to check the house and in the front garden was the etstate agent sign with SOLD on it, I knew it was all going through but that did help confirm that this part of the journey is nearly over and I can finally move on, it is long overdue and re-visiting just digs up memories and makes me focus and things I cannot change.

I have heard today from mums nurse F that the vaccine will be reaching the home in the next week and a half. I am hoping that it all goes smoothly and in the New Year visiting becomes less of an issue. Its been a long 9 months and with so much to deal with it has not been easy not being able to visit -which is the only thing we have left towards the end of this journey
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
258
0
Fingers crossed for the vaccine. My husband is over 80 and has had a text message inviting himto book for vaccination at our nearest hub hospital so it really is happening. He isn't booking just yet, as he has a pre op assessment this week and we hope he'll have surgery very soon after Xmas which will require him to isolate for 2 weeks beforehand. So a first dose next week could lead to problems with getting the second dose done. But it really is looking hopeful for care homes, and this vaccine has had a high success rate in older people so should be a good one for care homes.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,352
0
North West
Well today has been another 'worse day' on the events calendar of life. My sister who asked me not to mention her in anything I write about has been taken unwell a week ago. She does read my posts from time to time on here but is not a member. I have kept to that promise until today. My sister has been of great help over the last 5 years, but sadly she couldn't do anymore to help as I have a nephew with severe learning difficulties and as a family their time is taken up with all the issues that comes with. Several years ago my sister had breast cancer. This last week the investigations have shown that it has now come back with a vengeance and seems widespread. I have only been told this news today and we are waiting for the oncology MDT meeting on Friday. I don't know what to say or do anymore now. Mum has gone into the world of advanced dementia, my brother is well invisible and now the one link I had left that I treasured the most and respected is being taken. My BIL isn't coping with any of this ......and I can't not help even though I feel weary
 

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